[ajmat]

I have nearly owned BMW but somehow never got there yet. A lot of this stems from an evening of passion with BMW's frisky little number (Mini Cooper S), but alas, the rubber broke and was subjected to a night of doom. I nearly put big money on a 330i GT which is still in the classifieds but I got ghosted big time as many others. I have driven an overly booted F30 328i extensively (frantic but fun) and some E46 316i/318i (wonderfully fluid). I was yearning to take it to another level and experience a six pot BMW.

So how did this come together?

Let's rewind to May this year, like my homeless friend, I message a few special much loved ladies stating that I will be popping over for my nephews wedding.

Goes something like this

"Coming over for maybe a couple of weeks, might cut the trip short. Car hire is horrendous"

This was a fact, a dreary rental of something like an Astra would be 700 pounds. I was even considering trains/ flying internally/ flying out from Manchester. Another option was to check out an interesting electric car hire company but pick up/ drop would involve a lot of wasted time. I was even considering trains/ flying internally/ flying out from Manchester.  As I write after the trip, the price has halved as below.




Back to the conversation with the ladies -

"If you don’t have too much luggage, I could get you insured to use my car, I'll use one of T's cars! (Audi TT-S or Z3 – both these sisters are serious...and single!)

Sure – what was that again? Pinch me

Didn't she ping me a couple of years back about an amazing lease deal on M4 pre covid and the concept of YOLO? Yes, slow reality set in that it was "that car"! I gave my licence details not very reluctantly!


"Cool, let me add it in July before you arrive"

I offered to pay any insurance premium excess for a wayward Indian driver but kindness knows no boundaries. My forthcoming joy was boundless but I kept quiet about this, too many slips between the cup and the lip. In gratitude, I invested in some shopping for a few dresses for them but I was a little too flattering on their sizes (a little too small – no insult there!).

And so I land in early August, hung out on Friday with my cousin in the 'burbs and then moved into town to hang out with the ladies over the weekend. Yep, I saw the car, out on the street.



Yep - Dirty times with a dirty car coming up!


Pinged my dear fellow mod with the strong right arm and the sprained right thumb asking him to "Guess my ride!" All he could come up with was a Ford Focus - duh!

Could not believe it!! My hands were itching to get my hands on it but it had to wait. We took the Tube into into Kings Cross and hung out at a few places. We returned and went to a nearby Sushi place.

At that point, am thrown the keys!

"Lets see how you get on"

[ajmat]

Driving such a car in front of the owner is a nerve wracking moment. Fortunately, having driven that mad F30, I was familiar with the switchgear. I had driven M3/M4's on track, but what was it like on road.

Adjusted the seat from their normal 5ft 2' to my 6ft frame. The switch is flipped and the roof folds down complete with the drama. I gingerly drive on...and pass. having observed every damn rule in the Highway Code. Dinner over, I drive back – I've passed again. The next day, after a long night, a hot yoga session and brunch, I take the M4 back to my cousins back in Northwood. On the way there, I kept the roof up as I wanted minimal distraction and needed to understand the car better – tackled the camera riddled North Circular and a bit of the M1 and landed in Northwood. My cousins were not there, so I flipped the lid for a quick drive in the country.


Warning - pics taken at random, am too busy having fun, Consideration for TBHP perfect pics were thrown out of the window!



Kerb view while having a coffee



Need to flip these in manually when parked as these are rare items



Back in suburbia

Initial Impression.


It was in reality, a very gentle beast, unless provoked. You are conscious about the extra weight. The ride was a bit sharp but I took it in its stride. Steering was very direct, so direct, that I clunked the wheel on a left hand kerb at low speeds. Comfort mode made it easy around town. With the roof down, a little scuttle shake is apparent and there is a little more understeer.

[ajmat]

Day 2 – Taking it into Enemy Territory




Pinch me,I'm dreaming - no way, will I take the Tube into London to lurk around my usual haunts . I'm going to drive the hell around the area!

Having finished my banking work in the morning, I decided to visit the AMG experience at Mercedes Benz World, Brooklands about 40 miles away. Before I went there, I tanked the car up and gave it a check up. Bonnet is hardly opened so plenty of cobwebs!



Beware of 444 Very Wild Horses!!!!

I decided to check the tyres.

38Psi, I was told. However, when I looked at the door jamb, I realised something else, the small print, it was 32psi. Why? This is an M3 Competition with 30 profile tyres. Ah – the lawyer owner did not read the small print - big fail!!!

Being a London car, people park on street, against the curb and there are casualties. Scratched and scored wheel rims. On one tyre , I found bits of rubber from the sidewall lip flapping around. This made me very conscious about any high sped cornering. I prayed that the sidewalls would hold up (they were fine but you need to understand my luck with tyres!).



Onto Brooklands via the M25. The weather was hot and traffic was thick but the M3 was very docile. I drove roof down. It was perfectly fine at legal speeds. Once I got off the motorway and into Surrey, and then I slowly realised the fun of this beast. All this while, I had been in D. I now started playing with the paddles and then the inner beast emerged - the fruity exhaust note , the power, all emerges at 4000RPM plus.

Rule No 1: When in town or on a motorway – stick to D. Otherwise, use the paddles to really get the most from the car.




Enemy at the gates - The afternoon was spent thrashing a C63s and an AMG GT (amazing car!). The torque in these beasts were amazing, they felt rigid but the C had more roll on the limit. Am very glad that I could do this as it helped calibrate and help explore the M4 further.



Right Attire , Wrong Shoes - still got admitted

[ajmat]

Day 3 – Was used for a shopping trip. Before that, it was time to treat the car to a Soapie. Like how you will find a Malayalee with a tea shop in any nook of a town (at least 15 years ago!), you will find a bunch of Eastern Europeans offering a hand wash. They normally take a space within a car dealer or similar.

Its very systematic, you drive in and they do a prewash, then the foam lance, lather the car, spray a liquid polish rinse off and wipe the car down. All in 10 min for 10 pounds. Interiors are another 10 pounds. There were a couple of cars before me. I was in an out in less than 20 min.

I should have documented these but I needed to get on a call so missed out while the wash was happening.

.

Next, it was to clear my daughters shopping list. Drove into London, traffic on the A40 was thick but the M4 was docile, like an obedient Rottweiler. Reached Westfield and made my usual mistake of parking it on the roof instead of the basement.



Kept returning to the car to drop the shopping in. Boy that small boot lid is heavy with all those hinges, motors etc. The boot space is another story. Stepped into a hot car, I merely put the roof down and the heat dissipated.

Evening - Went into town for a school reunion. Drank stuff unspeakable and hence was undrivable.

Day 4 – Drive into Sussex for the wedding – my cousin wanted to go topless so she sent her husband and kids in the Disco Sport and came with me. Needed to load the BMW with my stuff



This is what space you thought you had - 370 L



This is what you actually have -270L if you want to go topless, the tray needs to be latched into place to ensure the roof mechanism has space to fold. I thought one could put the suitcase in and pull the tray down. It would not latch down.

Jumped out, removed suitcase and put the smaller items in. Oh, as for the spaces in the side - I put a soft bag these and the roof stopped midway. The space is used by the rear pillars when retracted.



This is all that you can do in reality

Yep, my cabin baggage tucked behind, my computer bag and a pair of shoes was all that I could fit. Yep this is the best car to drive to a holiday at a nudist camp.

How did I work around this?

• A thick blanket was kept in the car to protect the seat.
• Laid it out.
• Put the roof down
• Lift suitcase in

Note front seats might not go forward enough so this is the only way!!!

What do you do if you are a dainty lady or if it rains? Too bad!

Fully loaded up, we take off towards Sussex. Had fun on the roundabouts and curves leading upto the motorway. My cousin was pretty cool and remained unfazed. We raised the side windows and found that driving at speed on the motorway was perfectly fine. You could have conversations although my suit bag in the back footwell kept fluttering. The stereo is not that great at speed with an open top. We kept the AC on to get cool air in our faces.

After 90 min on motorways and A Roads, we hit the country roads. One thing, I began to appreciate was the navigation system. The BMW Navigation plus Heads Up display is one of the best, the arrows tell you exactly where to go and position the car. I only made one mistake because I thought too much during the entire trip.

In the back roads of Sussex, the car was singing, my cousin was grinning, we needed to be careful due to narrow roads but an open top in an English Countryside was unbeatable. The wind in your face effect and the lovely scenery, make it an event.



She survived, but her hair, not so much!

All this would be lost in India with trucks belching out smoke as well as the dust. Despite, the weight and stiffness penalty, placing the car on winding roads was accurate. Turn in might not be eager but the M4 munched through corners with the occasional scuttle shake.
.
Reached my cousins AirBnB farmhouse. One thing, with loose gravel driveways, one needs to be very careful not to drive like a pillock and mash the throttle and spray the vicinity with gravel.



Try and do the opening "No Time to Die" spin and the gravel will do the work of the machine guns!

Reached my hotel. Changed for the pre night wedding dinner. Went unfashionably on time as advised and found no one had arrived. Was a tad not amused. So I went for a drive and returned to relax in the hotel. I later went back fashionably late. I turned poseur, roof down, engine singing its thing, driving up the one mile driveway of a stately home!

The wayward cousin from India arrived in style. The groom's mother (my cousin) commented "007", I said more "420" (the brides family who are Gujaratis guffawed)

Dinner over, (I flew 9000 miles to eat Vada Pav!)!, it was time to get back for the night. The headlights were amazing on the UK country roads.





Loved the logo on the seats – so cool.

Attachment 2350470

[ajmat]

Day 5 - Wedding Day

Woke up early and went to hunt the Yoxman - an 18 foot bronze sculpture



Yes,I can see his bum! Sue him!

Forgot to mention that my nephew was marrying a Gujarati so we were doing this in style



Made some of the natives turn ethnic (i.e. his family!). - the Baraat complete with the Dhol and a couple of trumpets and a tuba!



Ceremonies over, back to the hotel for a snooze and decided to return in a taxi. If I got tired or something else, one wrong foot mash and I would find myself in an accommodating hedge. I had ordered a taxi earlier in the day and got an S Class without asking! Apparently, due to low prices of diesel cars and reliability, these are hard to beat! Having learnt not to reach too early, I reached well in time between cocktails and before guests were seated...in style again!



Day 6 - Drive up North

Today was the big 280 mile trip up north. I was supposed to visit an office in North Manchester so needed to get there by 330pm before they close.

Ordered a full English and indulged in bits of fried barnyard in my belly

Loaded the car and fired her up

Need to warm her up as you can see the Tacho clearly tells you to take it easy!



As it was relatively early morning in the hotel, I pulled across the hotel driveway to take some pictures





However, after the night before, and the need to hydrate, I took it a little easy and did not push it. Drove through Sussex with the top down and found this quaint windmill!



This is where the navigation system of the BMW came in. Original plan was A14, M1, M62 M66 – bit of a boring route.

As I drove, it recalculated A14-M1-M6-M66 yawn

I was tempted to go A14-M1-A57 Snake Pass. This road is amazing but too many superbikes and boy racers (metoo in my younger days meant speed cameras and a 50mph limit!). I had a timeline but I had another alternative.

A14, M1, A52, A500, M6 – I know these roads well, fast sweeping roads with fast roundabouts and less traffic until Stoke on Trent. Sure enough, the BMW Navigation also advised this route. The long sweeping roads with moderate curves and fast roundabouts gave you plenty of fun to engine brake and accelerate. I took full advantage and the car responded well.

I was a little tired so kept the roof up. The added stiffness made it more responsive. The turn-in was much more accurate, the understeer was diminished. Not as wieldy like a normal M3/M4 but ran it close. I kept the steering and engine on Sport Plus settings.

The thing with the M4 – it never feels fast but you look in the mirror, every car that was behind you becomes a mere spec! Every time, I slowed at a junction, glanced to find cars behind me, accelerate, they've disappeared. No tyre shrieking, no drama, just merely despatched!

Things slowed down around Stoke, on the M6 motorway, there were some jams and I missed the timeline . Most jams on the motorways are due to breakdowns. Due to the elimination of the hard shoulder, stranded cars stay on the left and if detected but AI, cameras pick up on this and the signs flash for all to slow down until the car is recovered. Big safety issues but cheaper than expanding the road!

I had my fun since I could not make it to office, I went straight to visit my 92 year old aunt.

[ajmat]

Day 7-8

Never used the car much. Being Manchester, car was kept secure. One or two youngsters on bikes showed me "signs of a pulling, pushing nature" signifying a mis-perceived misfit with a flash wagon.

One needs to be careful in affluent areas as high end car theft is rampant.



Had peace of mind as the car was in a secure place



I needed to install this steering Dislock every night whenever I was and enclose the key in a Faraday pouch to block relayed signals

This particular M4 was broken in within 2 weeks of ownership and the steering wheel, the I-drive unit and display were nicked. Cops reckon that a rogue BMW mechanic was behind all of this. Repairs were 6000 pounds

Day 9

It was back down south with a slight detour. Having said my farewells! I decided to venture into the Black Country to my birthplace. There is a fun switchback road off the M5 motorway but you need to pass the dreaded Birmingham traffic on the outskirts.

The Navigation advised me to leave the M6 earlier and cut through Wolverhamption onto an A road (yippee!). I drove through calmly. It was a good job that I did, as an Alfa got stopped by an unmarked Astra. Past Wolverhampton, I came upon some nice country roads. There was a slight drizzle, so I went pillar less, windows open and let the S55 sing. The road was different to what had been planned but just as scenic and fun.

Reached my childhood town of Stourport. I could not resist driving through Gilgal and York Street – involves a narrow winding road within town with sharp curves, and buildings close to the road so the engine note reverberates. Plenty of yobs drive fast and end up through the front door of a terraced house at times. I was the complete yob in revving the engine but so far no one has complained.

Visited some old family friends from childhood and then it was the M40 to London. This road is relatively empty and less patrolled. It was the last fling! Call it the passionate farewell embrace!

On this road, I discovered the cars top end strength. Cruise at 70 MPH, mash the pedal and you are at warp speed, I had to be very careful, I did find myself touching nearly 90 especially when trying to overtake a long trucks. London arrived easily! Spent an hour with my cousin in Northwood, filled the car up and returned the car to the owner in North London and stayed over.

The silence of the Prius that took me to the airport the next day was tempered by the roar of the S55 engine note still ringing in my ears.

This was an unbelievable trip in actually getting such a car to use and in that everything went to plan except I had too much fun to actually document with pictures. What I really liked about the car is that turning circle and fragile low profile tyres apart, it will fit in well in your life, much more than the Mini Cooper which I use occasionally!

Summarising

What you would like about the M4 Convertible

• Top down motoring makes it more tactile as you hear the actual engine
• Pretty wieldy for convertible
• Sealed from all elements with the top up
• Very docile at normal speeds
• Blistering performance
• Not many around

What you will not like

• Competition spec is an overkill for a coupe convertible
• You feel the extra 200 kg and weight distribution
• Handling a little understeery with top down
• Most power is beyond 4000 RPM
• Turning circle is a little wide for town use

Performance

• Blistering fast, not as hard edged as a fixed roof version.
• Performance mainly at the top end
• Most of the action happens above national speed limits , once needs to be careful

Gearbox

• D mode perfect for bumbling around town or normal commuting
• Paddles make life extremely interesting and neck snapping
• Getting to P mode is complex. I just stuck it in R (car will not lock otherwise!)

Handling

• Meaty, direct steering but not as sharp as an M3/M4
• Turn in not as eager as an M4 but eager enough
• The tuned suspension is an eye opener – drove a 328i with oversized tyres and Bilsteins, that was hyper. The M4 is rides a little sharp but is perfect
• Hardly any roll
• Goes over speed humps with no problem

Interior

• • Like any 3 but with carbon fibre trim and a few extra buttons
  • Spot on ergonomics
  • I was familiar with the car in minutes.

Seats

Excellent - Hip hugging and very embracing

Space

Rear seat space is adequate
Boot is a joke with roof down – I love jokes anyway

Ride

• A little firm but decent considering the 30 profile tyres
• The road noise is annoying on older non tarmac sections

Would you buy one ?

A lighter fab cab G30 M340i will run it very close. Add a sport exhaust to that and one might think twice. Less weight and lower price might seal it for the M340

Will the owner let this go as part of the lease deal?

No, she loves it and loves the hard top! The mean streets of London means that it stays!



Parting shot after what was a wonderful week! (I just could not get myself to park close to the kerb!)

[GTO]

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[itwasntme]

Originally Posted by ajmat

My forthcoming joy was boundless but I kept quiet about this, too many slips between the cup and the lip. In gratitude, I invested in some shopping for a few dresses for them but I was a little too flattering on their sizes (a little too small – no insult there!).
Pinged my dear fellow mod with the strong right arm and the sprained right thumb asking him to "Guess my ride!" All he could come up with was a Ford Focus - duh!

Originally Posted by ajmat

I gingerly drive on...and pass. having observed every damn rule in the Highway Code. Dinner over, I drive back – I've passed again.

Originally Posted by ajmat

Bonnet is hardly opened so plenty of cobwebs!
Ah – the lawyer owner did not read the small print - big fail!!!

Originally Posted by ajmat

...like an obedient Rottweiler.
Drive into Sussex for the wedding – my cousin wanted to go topless ...
Yep this is the best car to drive to a holiday at a nudist camp.
She survived, but her hair, not so much!

Originally Posted by ajmat

[One or two youngsters on bikes showed me "signs of a pulling, pushing nature" signifying a mis-perceived misfit with a flash wagon.

Lovely pictures and hilariously written. I'm assuming once the lovely ladies have read this piece, you're not getting a repeat invite anytime soon.