Team-BHP - Experiences: Friends & relatives borrowing your car

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Quote:

Originally Posted by venuvedam (Post 3572078)

But the most painful thing about this whole affair was the sentence spoken by my cousin after the trip. "Thank you for giving us the XUV. Had we taken our car, it would have come to pieces on those extremely bad roads."

Send your cousin the bill - and do it through your uncle or aunt if possible, it is better to have someone elder mediate in this so it doesn't turn into a dispute.

Quote:

Originally Posted by venuvedam (Post 3572078)

I am not sure if this is the right forum to talk about this. If not, please feel free to move the thread to the appropriate forum.

Have you ever faced pressure from your close relatives or friends to "lend" your car to them for a trip? How do you deal with such requests?

For me, my car is an extension of my personality. Over the last one year, my XUV has become an integral part of my consciousness. It responds to me in a unique way. I know how to treat it. I know its shortcomings, its USP and I know exactly how much pressure should I put on the accelerator so that it doesn't feel strained.

At times when my brother drives it and tries to floor the pedals, I feel the pain. I feel for the XUV. At some level, we "talk" to each other.

Now, in comes a cousin with an atrocious proposal - that I should give them the XUV for a long drive (1200 kms trip). I have successfully thwarted such proposals in the past by stating various reasons. however, it has come to a point where my refusal would have a deep impact on the relationships and I had to give in.

They took the car and returned it after three days. When I drove it afterwards, I realized the seat settings (height etc) were different. What more? the height adjustment level had been harshly operated and stuck! I had to apply a lot of pressure on it to get it working again. The clutch doesn't seem very smooth now and the gear shifts seem out of ordinary.

But the most painful thing about this whole affair was the sentence spoken by my cousin after the trip. "Thank you for giving us the XUV. Had we taken our car, it would have come to pieces on those extremely bad roads."

And it is OK to drive my car on those roads?

I hope I don't get any such requests in future - because this time I am going to refuse outright. I don't care if it damages relationships.

Peer pressure and family pressure and requests like this - have you faced them? How do you deal with them?

And yeah. Let me say it up front -> stupid:

First and foremost,it was just your cousin who had asked and not your parents or your siblings. You had every right to decline. I share your same thoughts.Over the years you do feel you communicate with your car. In my family I have a reputation of neither asking nor lending.One of my cousin (distant) wanted to drive my swift when I was abroad saying he wanted to buy and wanted to try mine. I blandly refused . Till date he has a grudge against me and always talk rudely . I never cared lol: .I bought my car from my hard earned money.

Quote:

Originally Posted by venuvedam (Post 3572078)

I am sorry for the state of affairs. But if you know very well that your cousin has a car you need not have lent the XUV. In your place I would not have done it. There are two kinds of people : First lot - take care of other person's assets as good or better than their own. The second lot - Treat other's assets as use and throw followed by a thanks and sorry. The first lot is a rare breed and you will not find many. The second lot - avoid at any cost.

Mine is a completely different story.
My neighbor wants me to use his car as he does not get time to sue it, he even gets the car refueled regularly. I take utmost care when I am driving his car, probably more careful than when I drive my own car. So, I drive his car for 2 days and then use mine for 3 days in the week.

In your case, I would never have given my car to a cousin, the only people who have driven my car so far, is me, my brother and then the service center chap.

I totally understand your feelings. Around 10-12 years back when I was in my Engineering, I used to stay in a Hostel. At that point of time only a handful of us had a bike. So the request for lending my bike used to come quite often. I was new to the hostel life & didn't want to look stubborn.

To avoid this, I had spread a rumor in the hostel that once I had lend my bike to a friend who ran over a pedestrian who was seriously injured & the case is still in court. And due to this I do not lend bike to anyone. Post that nobody used to request me for my bike. Few selected friends had ridden my bike as I knew how they rode.

Now I refuse point blank stating that I am too possessive about my car & do not lend it to anyone. People have slowly got the message. I believe instead of searching new excuses every time, you should be very clear about the fact that you DO NOT lend your car to anyone & that is one rule you standby. After a while people would stop asking

Regards

I have gone through all the responses in the thread and THANK YOU ALL for sharing your opinions.

Henceforth, I will tell it without mincing words that my car is not for lending. Period. I don't care if it strains relationships. (In this case, it would have meant the person talking to my parents and all - which I tried to avoid. A stupid decision I agree.)

Interesting thread. Many of us feel the same when it comes to sharing our vehicles. In my case, the only person who is allowed to take my vehicle in my absence also , would be my brother-in-law. All others NO or case by case.

Read an article in yesterday's times of india, and slightly pertinent to the discussion. Allowing friend to ride bike costs man Rs 1.75 lakh
The friend who took the bike did not have a valid license, and met with an accident. Its not about the money alone, but all the hassles that accompany it
Quoting partially
Counsel for Panjali said that around 3.30pm while she was standing on a platform at Ennore Express Road, a motorcycle coming at "terrific speed" hit her. She sustained a head injury and was taken to GH. The accident occurred because of rash and negligent driving of the rider, so the driver and the insurer were liable to pay compensation, said her counsel. Bike owner V Balaguru did not appear before the tribunal. In its counter, the Oriental Insurance Co Ltd said the bike rider Esakki, a friend of Balaguru, did not have a driving licence. The unlawful driving had breached the conditions of the policy and it was not responsible for the damages, it argued.

......
Esakki, however, did not have a driving licence. This had been confirmed by the Regional Transport Office, Chennai (North West). After investigation, traffic wing officials had registered a case against him. As established by the insurer, Esakki did not have a licence, he said, adding that the owner of the vehicle had breached the stipulations of the policy. For the wrong committed by the rider, Balaguru alone was to be held liable to pay compensation, said the bench, adding the insurer had to recover the award from the
owner.

Source : http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/c...w/45029137.cms

Sorry about the long post, but how many times have we checked if the other person has a valid driving license, and how do we keep asking everytime someone asks for your vehicle (the license could have expired and not renewed), if at all we intend to loan it.

I love my bike.

And that's a truth all my friends know. So the odd time when someone asks me to lend them the bike, my friends shake their heads knowing full well the end result and they end up telling the person that I do not lend my bike. All I do is smile.

It's gone to the point where when I had a swollen bee stung hand and someone offered to ride my bike, I told them that I would rather ride with the pain than lend it to someone else.

Once you refuse the initial few and they understand, they will do the work for you. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by mukeshgoel (Post 3572574)

If someone asks for you are, tell him:
....
or think of some more excuses like these.

I know they may think that you are lying but they will understand that you don't want to give your car. And it will not create your so bad/negative image in your family/relatives' eyes in comparison with a straight "NO".

A polite and straight NO would fetch you more respect than trying lies. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by svsantosh (Post 1454296)

2000 Dec'
College Fest
Me : Students Assn Leader

The End.

Santosh - While I'm on a conf call (mute ofcourse) i read this and laughed to the very end because of your narration. clap:

Good that your parents came back unhurt.

Thanks

But what if the request comes from one's own brother-in-law?People from Kerala will better appreciate the gravity of such request. He is only a bike rider who has a licence for 4 wheelers but nil driving experience. He wanted to engage his office driver for the drive to go to Native place and come back( 220+ 220km) in my RITZ VDI.

Quote:

Originally Posted by srikanthns (Post 3574202)

I think this is a safe option since your B-I-L also is going to be with him. Office drivers will be the experienced bunch and will NOT try stupid things with their bosses around.

Quote:

Originally Posted by srikanthns (Post 3574202)

Quote:

Originally Posted by swiftnfurious (Post 3574361)

I think this is a safe option since your B-I-L also is going to be with him. Office drivers will be the experienced bunch and will NOT try stupid things with their bosses around.

I agree. But taking the office driver may be only a camouflage. In actual scene, the BILL will make the driver sit behind and try and hone his own driving skills. Elementary my dear Watson! Watch out!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by srikanthns (Post 3574202)

If you are not comfortable just simply say NO. I too am from Kerala so I can understand.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alavandar (Post 3574417)

Also, even if the office driver is the one who drives the car, it is entirely possible that he's a "clutch plate rider" like the guy I had to sack recently.

If he has been driving taxis etc, to save a few seconds startup time he'll simply stamp on the clutch and brake at traffic signals rather than bringing the car to neutral.