[rajeshekm]

Originally Posted by vibbs

I don't have anything else to add other than ask one question. Is there an opportunity closer home? Middle east may be? May be Singapore?

Why I ask this is because, the salary you mentioned is good for a single in these locations and will allow you to travel home once a fortnight. Not a long term solution, but it can offer an opportunity to earn some money in 2-3 years and be back home again.

Apologies, I thought I replied to this already. Since I am a newbie my answers get moderated before posting. I remember typing in a reply, but not sure if I missed to post it or if my reply didnt get approved.

Currently in our unit, client locations are Europe (mainly UK) and North America (US/Canada). Out of these, salary is way better in US and I already hold an H1 which is why I was preferring that option. I do understand the benefits of a middle east or Singapore job (can travel home over the weekend at low cost) but no such option for me at the moment.

Originally Posted by Samurai

Please... autism is one area where one should not give advice based on second hand experience. Autism parents get very good at hiding the stress/pain they undergo in order to live a normal life. People around them start thinking it is not a big deal. Recently a very close friend invited my family for dinner. First I said only my wife and I will attend because it would be a hassle to manage the kid at an unfamiliar house. Our older son usually manages him when we go out. But the friend insisted we all come, and so we went. Then his whole family watched 3 of us continuously deal with him for two hours, who kept moving room to room as he was too excited. He was not unruly or violent, his 13 years of therapy has fixed that. But he would make demands every minute to get over his anxiety of the new place. We had to take turns talking to the host while other two managed him.

A day later the friend called and said "OMG, sorry, I didn't know. How are you dealing with this all these years..."

I can fully understand this and my heart goes out to you and your family here. Our son is only 6 now, so a long way to go. At the moment he is able to manage ok in social situations though he has trouble gelling in and he doesn't get all the social cues. He enjoys being with other kids. In a group and in social situations he is mostly well behaved; sometimes so well behaved that other parents remark that our child is so patient.

The real trouble is with his attention span (ADHD), verbal language and comprehension skills and consequently his schooling. He takes 2 hours to do a 10 minutes homework (he actually does it in 10 minutes - rest of the time goes in distractions, encouragement, coaxing, pleading, playing, storytelling, whatever required to get him to do his studies). He also has trouble understanding mathematics and (relatively) complex concepts, but our therapist says that it is due to his language and comprehension skills. I'm hoping that if the therapy helps in his attention span and language comprehension, the other study aspects will improve. Temper tantrums are another thing he struggles with. I'm also considering medication for ADHD though really as a last resort if nothing else helps.

Originally Posted by mchandra13

- ABA therapies are covered by insurance pretty much in all the 50 US states. The extent of coverage may vary from state to state. Check NJ Dept. of Human Services for details. You can also check with your potential insurance company on the coverage of charges for therapies
- ASD is a pretty common thing in US society and the acceptance of such cases in the society is much higher without any social stigma attached to it. I have really close friends who have kids with ASD and I havent seen too much of a difference in their lifestyles because of the kid. They come and join us in parties along with the kid sometimes, however one of them has to constantly baby sit the high school going kid thru the duration of the party. They go on vacations with kid to all sorts of places. I have even seen both spouses working successfully while managing such kids at home.

Thanks chandra for providing a different and more positive perspective. My child mainly needs some help on his ADHD side and language side as explained above. Overall, at least now he is not extremely unmanageable and I'm hoping that with the therapies and support he will pick up to an extent where he will require less support and hopefully my wife can resume her career.

[vb-saan]

Originally Posted by rajeshekm

Our son is only 6 now, so a long way to go. At the moment he is able to manage ok in social situations though he has trouble gelling in and he doesn't get all the social cues. He enjoys being with other kids.

Just one point I thought of adding here – how much ever support system you have, I would suggest to make a move to NJ as a family. Your son is only 6 now, and you wouldn’t want to trade-in the growing up years of your child for that bit of extra savings. You may think of this as 1-2 years of overseas stint and before you know, that could become 5-6 years or more. Even though it may pinch a bit, move with the family, or stay put in your current role/location. Either way, you and your family will be in a happy space.

[SShandilya]

I am in double mind too in terms of whether I should migrate or not to Canada, if anybody could help in decision making I would be grateful .

My reasons for migrating - Better salaries, better lifestyle, able to afford a house in few years and retirement benefits.

My reasons for not migrating - Most MNCs are setting up their finance in India, isolation from Family and how everyone is saying that ‘This is India’s time’ .

I am aware of low salaries in Canada but I’ll like to know how the salary progression will happen if I start with 80k pre tax, how much could I earn in next 10 years ? (At Average growth rate).

Just a brief about me:
Age - 29.
Single.
Professional - Chartered Accountant.
Profile - Financial Analyst/ Financial Planning and Analysis.

[iFrag]

Originally Posted by SShandilya

I am in double mind too in terms of whether I should migrate or not to Canada, if anybody could help in decision making I would be grateful .

My reasons for migrating - Better salaries, better lifestyle, able to afford a house in few years and retirement benefits.

Since you are 29 and single, Canada is a good option. It will take a few years to buy a house as the interest rates are high and the house prices are high as well. You need to build a good credit history to buy a house.

With CA and CFA - you may find a decent job but they are few and far in between when compared to IT jobs.

[McLaren Rulez]

Originally Posted by Jeroen

I have always hated for instance the UK health system. All people are on the NHS. But those who can afford will get private insurance and will get treatment earlier. To me that is so incredibly wrong. At least in the Netherlands there is simply no private health care.

I know nothing about the system in the Netherlands but the system in some EU countries is not too different to the UK.

My partner is German and privately insured there and had a shocking experience recently. She'd last visited her eye doctor when she was publicly insured and so their records had her down as publicly insured. She had an eye problem and called them up only to hear that the no appointments were available. Knowing how the system works and realizing what was going on, she mentioned that she was now privately insured. Kaboom, appointment made available the next morning. It was shocking to both of us how quickly the tone of the receptionist changed. I suspect this queue jumping is not far from taking over EU healthcare systems too.

What takes the biscuit in the whole thing is that every permanent German public sector employee (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beamter) can get private insurance for very low prices since the state co-pays 50% of all medical bills - it is one of the perks of a government job there!

I completely agree with the priciple of equal healthcare for all but in practice, the rich will always jump the queue. I'm not sure if the EU will remain immune to this phenomenon. In the UK and the US, this has been accepted as a fact of life. In Germany, the idea of equal healthcare for all exists in people's minds but the reality is very different.

I hope the Netherlands succeeds in keeping this out but it would not surprise me if the same thing happens there too either now, or the coming years.

[sandeepmohan]

Originally Posted by SShandilya

I am in double mind too in terms of whether I should migrate or not to Canada, if anybody could help in decision making I would be grateful. My reasons for migrating - Better salaries, better lifestyle, able to afford a house in few years and retirement benefits.

I don't see the point, especially in your area of expertise and profession. I believe India pays its CA's well and there is a lot of opportunity. Quality of life isn't going to get any better moving to Canada. Sure, you will find cleaner streets, air, better planning and better public transport but thats it really. A large part of that 'Quality of Life' ties close to what you earn and pay for living too and in that regard, Canada is going to bleed your wallet. You need 2x of the figure you mentioned as a 'minimum' to life comfortably.

You're 29! You should not be thinking of retirement benefits that a country offers. You could almost dictate this by the amount of dough you set aside each week.

Originally Posted by jayded

Getting your vehicle serviced

I noticed this in New Zealand too, especially after covid. It was possible to schedule a appointment within a week at the most at an FNG. Thats now stretched to 2 weeks or longer! I suspect its due to shortage of qualified labor and as we import something as basic as a coconut dish scrubber (From India), one can only imagine how long it takes to get a car component into the country as no manufacturing is done here.

[V.Narayan]

Originally Posted by vb-san

Just one point I thought of adding here – how much ever support system you have, I would suggest to make a move to NJ as a family. Your son is only 6 now, and you wouldn’t want to trade-in the growing up years of your child for that bit of extra savings. You may think of this as 1-2 years of overseas stint and before you know, that could become 5-6 years or more. Even though it may pinch a bit, move with the family, or stay put in your current role/location. Either way, you and your family will be in a happy space.

Originally Posted by rajeshekm

I can fully understand this and my heart goes out to you and your family here. Our son is only 6 now, so a long way to go. At the moment he is able to manage ok in social situations though he has trouble gelling in and he doesn't get all the social cues. He enjoys being with other kids. In a group and in social situations he is mostly well behaved; sometimes so well behaved that other parents remark that our child is so patient.

The real trouble is with his attention span (ADHD), verbal language and comprehension skills and consequently his schooling. He takes 2 hours to do a 10 minutes homework (he actually does it in 10 minutes - rest of the time goes in distractions, encouragement, coaxing, pleading, playing, storytelling, whatever required to get him to do his studies). He also has trouble understanding mathematics and (relatively) complex concepts, but our therapist says that it is due to his language and comprehension skills. I'm hoping that if the therapy helps in his attention span and language comprehension, the other study aspects will improve. Temper tantrums are another thing he struggles with. I'm also considering medication for ADHD though really as a last resort if nothing else helps.

@rajeshekham, What @vb-San has written are very wise words. I wish I'd written them myself. Your child will suffer without you. As a family you all will be happier, though struggling. Suggest you do some serious homework on support facilities/systems in USA for children with such special needs. The systems will certainly be better than India though I don't know how affordable. @vb-san's point reminded me of what my wife said when like so many young couple's {ok, I confess we were already 40+ then} we discussed settling overseas. Her point was that her younger brother who was emotionally dependent on her as his most trust worthy relative, love giver, mentor would have an implosion. her assessment was right. Her absence would have reversed the clock on his slow progress so painstakingly cobbled over 20 years to that point. Best of luck.

[rajeshekm]

Originally Posted by vb-san

Just one point I thought of adding here – how much ever support system you have, I would suggest to make a move to NJ as a family. Your son is only 6 now, and you wouldn’t want to trade-in the growing up years of your child for that bit of extra savings. You may think of this as 1-2 years of overseas stint and before you know, that could become 5-6 years or more. Even though it may pinch a bit, move with the family, or stay put in your current role/location. Either way, you and your family will be in a happy space.

Originally Posted by V.Narayan

@rajeshekham, What @vb-San has written are very wise words. I wish I'd written them myself. Your child will suffer without you. As a family you all will be happier, though struggling. Suggest you do some serious homework on support facilities/systems in USA for children with such special needs. The systems will certainly be better than India though I don't know how affordable. @vb-san's point reminded me of what my wife said when like so many young couple's {ok, I confess we were already 40+ then} we discussed settling overseas. Her point was that her younger brother who was emotionally dependent on her as his most trust worthy relative, love giver, mentor would have an implosion. her assessment was right. Her absence would have reversed the clock on his slow progress so painstakingly cobbled over 20 years to that point. Best of luck.

Thank you vb-san and Narayan for your wise and thoughtful words. I completely get it - what's the point of making some extra money if the people who matter the most to me (my son & my wife) will suffer - which I know for sure they will - at least to an extent.

The main factor prompting me to do so is my financial situation. I am having the realization that time is running out for me in terms of my earning years (close to 45 now). After the home loan EMI and the monthly expenses, there is practically no money left for savings/investment and given the current situation of the IT job market, I dont see a chance for a significant salary hike or job change in the near term.

I have some assets which I have made over time (a home, an apartment and some investments in land and stocks though not much), but these wont be anywhere close to what I need to sustain my family post retirement. It's my mistake as well - never considered investments or making money seriously in my younger years - when I actually could. I'm also worried if my son will be able to sustain himself with a good job/career when he grows up - which makes me think that I have to have enough assets/investment that will ensure that he is able to manage when we are not around.

What I could do is probably move to the US and bring over my family and see how it goes. If it works out at least to an extent where I can make some decent savings, I will continue that way. But if as Samurai mentioned, the cost and availability of therapy is such that it affects my son's development, I'll have my family travel back and see how it goes for them in India (with support system). If things dont go well, then no option for me but to come back to India after a few months.

[srvm]

Originally Posted by rajeshekm

....
What I could do is probably move to the US and bring over my family and see how it goes. If it works out at least to an extent where I can make some decent savings, I will continue that way. But if as Samurai mentioned, the cost and availability of therapy is such that it affects my son's development, I'll have my family travel back and see how it goes for them in India (with support system). If things dont go well, then no option for me but to come back to India after a few months.

I don't have any useful inputs/advice for you Rajesh. I do not work in IT sector, nor does my job have any scope for emigration, most of all I don't have a child with special needs. My wife works in Spastic Society of Karnataka, here in Bangalore. And through her, I hear many heart-wrenching stories everyday about children with special needs and the travails of their parents. Hence, I can totally empathize with your situation and your strength to seek advice in this forum.

I can only wish you and your family all the best, whatever option you may choose next with regard to emigration

[sunilch]

Originally Posted by rajeshekm

I have some assets which I have made over time (a home, an apartment and some investments in land and stocks though not much), but these wont be anywhere close to what I need to sustain my family post retirement. It's my mistake as well - never considered investments or making money seriously in my younger years - when I actually could. I'm also worried if my son will be able to sustain himself with a good job/career when he grows up - which makes me think that I have to have enough assets/investment that will ensure that he is able to manage when we are not around.

What I could do is probably move to the US and bring over my family and see how it goes. If it works out at least to an extent where I can make some decent savings, I will continue that way. But if as Samurai mentioned, the cost and availability of therapy is such that it affects my son's development, I'll have my family travel back and see how it goes for them in India (with support system). If things dont go well, then no option for me but to come back to India after a few months.

I was trying to not to comment or give any inputs on this to you because I have not personally faced such a situation (a child with special needs) but given what I have read so far and my observations from my circle, here is what I can share:

1) One family in my apartment complex - All were in US with kids born in US but younger son needs regular therapy sessions. Family was somewhere in Kentucky or Tennessee and in a not very modern/urban city. They moved back to India only for their younger son's treatment and sessions as those were not affordable and easily available to them in US. They are happy here with the Father doing WFH for full year. You can't identify that the boy needs special care from a distance. Only after talking to the father (we connected on something) I did come to know about this.

So net net, access to sessions and other treatments in India might be better or cheaper than in US where you will have limited support system.

If yow think it may help, I can try to ask him to have a word with you and answer some of your questions.

2) Ex-college and ex-neighbors - Son hyper active, not able to focus on anything at all and always in constant movement. Needing regular therapy and constant attention. He could get terrified by a new person in their house any moment. Takes a toll on the parents but they are happy to do this and continue to do whatever it takes for their Son with a smile all the time. Father has compromised on career growth (growth only btw, since they are doing fairly well from finance perspective) by giving up certain possible opportunities but they are able to manage well in India.

So net net, you will need to be with your Son as your wife may feel a need of you to be around anytime.

Hence if you do move to US, plan it with family (near term if not immediately) and do it for experience, new culture. In US, the general population is more receptive and accommodating of anything that can be considered odd here in India. You may or may not save more, but you will get a different experience there.

If you can manage with Money and be happy with what you have, India isn't bad.

[rajeshekm]

Originally Posted by sunilch

I was trying to not to comment or give any inputs on this to you because I have not personally faced such a situation (a child with special needs) but given what I have read so far and my observations from my circle, here is what I can share:

1) One family in my apartment complex - If you think it may help, I can try to ask him to have a word with you and answer some of your questions.

2) Ex-college and ex-neighbors - Son hyper active, not able to focus on anything at all and always in constant movement. So net net, you will need to be with your Son as your wife may feel a need of you to be around anytime.

Hence if you do move to US, plan it with family (near term if not immediately) and do it for experience, new culture. In US, the general population is more receptive and accommodating of anything that can be considered odd here in India. You may or may not save more, but you will get a different experience there.

If you can manage with Money and be happy with what you have, India isn't bad.

Sorry for the late reply. Long weekend and I was on travel.

Thank you so much for the offer to connect with the family who has first hand experience. My travel is still a few months away so I am doing research and enquiries from my end. I am already enquiring via one of my colleagues in the US who is based in NJ on the situation in the area for children with special needs. I will inform you a bit later once I have collected a little more information if I need to connect with the family.

Yes, my idea is also give it a try in the US with family and see how it goes. Worst case if it doesn't work out, at least I will have the satisfaction that I have given it a try. And it will be a different experience as well.

Of course India isn't bad at all. Just that the salary vs expenses part is not adding up well for us at the moment

[Imran.Syed]

Folks,
I realize that human beings have a basic instinct of moving around for various reasons. As such, it is not possible to tell somebody who has decided to immigrate/emigrate to simply not do it.
After all, the grass is always greener on the other side.

Maybe we can compile a list of countries Vis-à-Vis various professions?

As I do not belong to any technical profession, my list for general economic immigration/emigration in 2023 would be like this: (in chronological order)

GCC countries
US
ASEAN Countries
Scandinavian nations
Other EU nations
Australia
Canada

Best option for growth: India
Best option for high income prospects with bearable costs and peace: GCC

Off-topic: I read in one of the posts here that Canada was ranked pretty high in some type low crime country index.

Maybe not so applicable in 2023.
-In my office, multiple people have had their brand new 80-100k cad vehicles stolen from their homes' driveways, while they were in the house sleeping. Insurance payout did happen but no police action. There was a bust recently but that's like taking a drop of water off an ocean.

-Catalytic convertor thefts have skyrocketed everywhere in the country. That is a major expense.

-Skyrocketing number of homeless people and drug abusers. Not as bad as in California though. (yet)

-Thefts, carjacking, stabbings on public transport, etc., all skyrocketing.

The police haven't given up, they are simply outnumbered.

My experience is limited to GTA where something like 25% of all Canadians live and GVA with approx 10% of the populace.

[Samurai]

Originally Posted by Imran.Syed

Thefts, carjacking, stabbings on public transport, etc., all skyrocketing.

The police haven't given up, they are simply outnumbered.

My experience is limited to GTA where something like 25% of all Canadians live

I googled GTA and bingo... Grand Theft Auto. If you live in an area named such and what can you expect? Greater Toronto Area doesn't even show up in the results.

I have never been to Canada, at least not on land. I guess I have technically entered Canada during Maid of the Mist boat ride in Niagara falls few times.

However, I do end up following Canadian news thanks to their pioneering leadership in matters of identity politics. That aspect is truly cringe worthy, at least for me.

[fuzzydealhunter]

Originally Posted by Imran.Syed

Folks,
I realize that human beings have a basic instinct of moving around for various reasons. As such, it is not possible to tell somebody who has decided to immigrate/emigrate to simply not do it.
After all, the grass is always greener on the other side.

Again I am starting to get a little tired of the negativity here, especially when you are in Canada enjoying all of what they have to offer and only speak ill of it. No one is holding you hostage. You are free to leave. I had a couple of threads back offered to chat and see if I can help in any way but nada. Starting to feel like this is a classic example of someone only focusing on the negative.

Yes car thefts are up, do you as an auto enthusiast not see the correlation between the high resale value for used cars and the pent up demand for vehicles since covid. I fully see this tapering off once there is just no demand to buy a car and this stops being an easy payout. Like I said earlier every place has problems.

Do you want to take a moment and defend the high levels of corruption in India? My dad has been trying for more than a year to get a land converted from paddy field to regular land. This is a land with a house build in 1990 and we have lived in it since. The irony is we even pay corporation housing tax on the house since 1990 but still struggle to convert it to regular land. Don't even get me started on the number of officials who have asked for a bribe to move a file from one desk to another which my dad refuses to pay on principle.

If you want to highlight whats not working in a country, name any country and I can give you at least 5 reasons not to move there, and yes I am saying this as someone who has lived in Europe, US and now in Canada.

I firmly believe in being constructive with feedback and I do think you need to take a step back, see whats working and whats not. Moving to a new country is not easy. It usually takes a couple of years before you are even remotely closed to being comfortable in regards to family, work and other expectations with life. Don't let a year or 2 of bad experience change your entire outlook at life.

My wife has loved moving to Canada. She works in advertising and has loved the cultural change when she switched from India. Not only did her salary take a jump, she now enjoys weekends off and has a very heathy work life balance. Keep in mind this is her first job outside India. Will everyone else who moves to Canada have the same experience, NO. Everyone's circumstances are different and needs to be taken up one at a time. Let us not generalize.

[androdev]

^
There is a sizeable number of people that are better served by staying back in India. Not everyone moving abroad is making the right decision, similarly many would be better off by migrating. In that context, it's helpful to read about diverse personal experiences to make the right decision. I'm sure readers understand that no one person’s experience gives a complete and true picture. Most of us don't like to express regret about our big decisions in life, consequently you mostly find encouraging information on things like immigration when you research on the internet. Dynamics involved also keep evolving. How people thought about this topic 20 years ago is very different from current reality and I sincerely feel the information out there is not up to date.