Is it proper for couples to show Public Display of Affection(PDA) in common places

coloneljasi · 17th March 2010, 10:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Slow

I agree with you on this.
Sigh, India is one of the few counties in which you can pee/poop in public but cant kiss

In the US or UK its the other way around.

That's absolutely hilarious

! I couldn't have said it better.

I've lived in Europe and the Middle East. Do we really want the authorities to make rules and regulations about one's personal space? I've experienced both extremes in the UK and the KSA.

We Indians tend to poke our heads into other people's lives. Who are they? What are they doing here? Why can't they get a room? What's the police doing about them? No offense to anyone here, but come on! We don't live in the dark ages, do we?

This country still has some draconian laws on moral conduct. Do we need more?

esteem_lover · 17th March 2010, 10:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by akp

But one thing I can say is, please do not treat those questions by your son as "embarrassing" - learn to deal with those, and NOT avoid with "a sheepish grin", as you put it.

That is so true. Who else is going to educate your child ?

Our society thinks nothing of the man in the street who opens his zip in public in front of women and children to piss but objects 'strongly and vehemently' to someone kissing in public.
So that means it is actually ok for you to strip in public but please please do not hold hands or kiss, that is a very bad thing to do especially in front of those same women and children who were forced to see that prick's prick.

rohan_iitr · 17th March 2010, 10:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samurai

Damn! I came to the thread to add my complaints about people showing off their iPhones in public. This is something else.

Same here. The title was grossly misleading.

Anyway, display of either type of PDA depends on the surroundings.

You don't want to show your PDA (personal digital assistant) in shady areas for the fear of getting mugged.

You don't want to show your PDA (public display of affection) in conservative areas to avoid being a nuisance to other family folks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanjayc

What is a decent kiss..a French type going the whole hog OR a simple peck..80's bollywood style;-?

A decent kiss is when lips come close together and then the camera moves to show 2 flowers touching each other.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASHISHPALLOD

In the society, there are lovers and they also need time, space and privacy.
The places like Mumbai, Thane, where is the space?
Naturally, these couples choose the public places like parks.

Why can't they just go and watch a Ramgopal Verma movie where there won't be anyone to bother them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by normally_crazy

Anyone interested in joining hands for building parks exclusively for couples ?

It may not be practical, but the following suggestion is very good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanjayc

Taking a cue out of Smokers/Non-Smokers Zone, maybe there should be PDA/non-PDA zone at such places.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Slow

Sigh, India is one of the few counties in which you can pee/poop in public but cant kiss
In the US or UK its the other way around.

Too Good.

Rohan

Cyrus43 · 17th March 2010, 10:46

I cant post the Article here because of Political References. But here is an Extract.

"In the Land where the Kamasutra Arose, where there are depictions of couples making love in different positions, not only in books but also engraved on the walls of Monuments and Temples, the question of banning Public Display of Affection Does not arise!! MAny people say that Globalization has affected the Indian culture and degraded it and that the concept of loving a loved one is not acceptable. Then maybe history should be made known to these people who feel expressing One's love should be banned!!"

The Above is an Extract from my article which was published in my college Magazine Dyandite in 2008. I came under much criticism for this, and there was even a debate session organised by the college to underplay this topic. Always ready for debate though, I took on 4 of the best debators that the college could throw at me...and blitzed it.

Now My Views on this Topic:
There is a certain limit to PDA. One cannot be accepted to take a light view to public Nudity, and that is an obvious fact. One also shoudnt be expected to be ok if they see a couple doing it by the lake or in a garden. The ABove is clearly indecent and thus punishable.

But, at the same time, there is a very thin line between indecency and Affection. I would love to see someone object to me hugging and siting or maybe even cuddling up to her when I am siting at a McDonalds with a couple of friends. Or for that matter, I would love to see someone object to me giving her an occasional kiss on her cheek or lips just to tell her I love her. Obviously, in this case, we arent talking about making out for an extended amount of time.

In any case, who is going to decide where the line of affection ends and where the line to indecency begins? Our Politicians, who appear to be the beacons of morality in daylight and are seen at their local Dance bar after hours, or the policy makers who are mostly old men in their 80s who probably dont know what being in love with someone means.

As you see, This topic is something that means a lot to me. And to hell with policy. Stop me from holding hands, hugging or even kissing the one I love, and all you will end up with is a Bloody nose or a Black eye. Or maybe both.

aargee · 17th March 2010, 10:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by esteem_lover

That is so true. Who else is going to educate your child ?

Except the parents & then blame the entire society for spoiling the child & the entire society blames the parents on the spoiled child

Quote:

Originally Posted by esteem_lover

Our society thinks nothing of the man in the street who opens his zip in public in front of women and children to piss but objects 'strongly and vehemently' to someone kissing in public.
So that means it is actually ok for you to strip in public but please please do not hold hands or kiss, that is a very bad thing to do especially in front of those same women and children who were forced to see that prick's prick.

Very very true; Reminds me of the movie "Thiruttu payale" where Vivek says "namma oorula publica piss adikkalaam, aana kiss panna koodadhu, ingae publica kiss adikkalam aana piss adikka koodadhu" (In India you can piss in the public but not kiss & the oppossite in abroad)

abhayshanu · 17th March 2010, 10:53

I indulge in PDA with my girl friend.
I do hug, sit close, and sometimes kiss, but that is it, and i feel that this much isnt a huge deal. But yes i have seen people do this and much much more under a umbrella or a chunni.
That is extremely indecent, and it is because of those people that people like us, who are educated and understand the difference between romantic and utterly obscene.

e1t1bet · 17th March 2010, 10:59

I have a few points to make:
(1) If someone wants to make-out in public, it is his/her choice. No law can be enforced as long as it is consensual.
(2) It is the parent's prerogative to teach their kids about sex, and love making. Especially in a country which has a huge AIDS problem.
(3) Sex, and love making became a taboo in our society only recently. 500 years back, we were, in some ways, more liberal than the west of today. It is dumb to term such behaviour sacrilegious, claim a 'holier than thou' stance, and turn a blind eye towards Khajuraho, Kamasutra or the fact that the brits were appalled when they found that orgies with Devadasis in temples was a norm.
I find it amusing how we, despite recording 7-8% growth during a recession, love to go backwards.

Remember; your freedom ends where my nose begins.

amitoj · 17th March 2010, 11:06

Making out in public is NOT PDA.
It seems the OP witnessed the former, which is not proper.

Maybe the title should be changed accordingly.

e1t1bet · 17th March 2010, 11:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by amitoj

Making out in public is NOT PDA.

Who decides the line which divides both?
The only plausible differentiating factor I can think of is 'nudity'.

prince_pervez · 17th March 2010, 11:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by amitoj

Making out in public is NOT PDA.
It seems the OP witnessed the former, which is not proper.

Couldn't agree more. Its PDD (desperacy)
Making out, kissing like there is no tomorrow, travelling hands, scream for a room. This is till we graduate to tolerating more indecency.

Of course this post will deemed unfit after we progress further, for, like someone said earlier, holding hands was a big deal sometime back.

Quote:

Originally Posted by e1t1bet

The only plausible differentiating factor I can think of is 'nudity'.

Ohh! Believe you me sir, thats the next level.

COUGAR · 17th March 2010, 11:28

who is to be the judge of what is "appropriate behaviour" here? on what kind of contact is acceptable and what is not.

if 2 people in love want to be affectionate then it is nobody's business. if someone is uncomfortable with seeing something like this, then they should turn away.

Quote:

The only plausible differentiating factor I can think of is 'nudity'.

and what is wrong with nudity on a beach? next some people may think that a speedo is too "revealing" for a beach?

amitoj · 17th March 2010, 11:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by e1t1bet

Who decides the line which divides both?
The only plausible differentiating factor I can think of is 'nudity'.

The difference is that one makes you scream "GET A ROOM" while the other doesn't.

tsk1979 · 17th March 2010, 11:42

Remember the three monkeys? Just close your eyes, and the problem, will go away. Why trouble somebody who is just having fun and not harming anybody else. There are far worse things in this world to be bothered about!

srishiva · 17th March 2010, 11:49

Even with people who find it fine doing PDA, they are putting limits to it. I guess its hard to arrive on the limits since it could be different for different people.

The problem is the whole society does not go together and the limits are therefore not uniform.

svsantosh · 17th March 2010, 11:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samurai

PDA can't be explained very easily. Lack of private space is one reason.

Sharat- Reminds me of wife asking me in our early days 'walk in the park'... Why do 'these' couples do all these 'things' in the park when all kids are playing around. I replied

1) Either the in-laws are intruding into their privacy...
2) Either their kids intrude into...
3) Either their respective parents oppose (in case of per-marital...)

OR!!!

4) 'His' wife and 'Her' Husband dont like to see these 'two' together!!

17th March 2010, 10:46	#34
Cyrus43 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: London Posts: 5,019 Thanked: 230 Times View My Garage	I cant post the Article here because of Political References. But here is an Extract. "In the Land where the Kamasutra Arose, where there are depictions of couples making love in different positions, not only in books but also engraved on the walls of Monuments and Temples, the question of banning Public Display of Affection Does not arise!! MAny people say that Globalization has affected the Indian culture and degraded it and that the concept of loving a loved one is not acceptable. Then maybe history should be made known to these people who feel expressing One's love should be banned!!" The Above is an Extract from my article which was published in my college Magazine Dyandite in 2008. I came under much criticism for this, and there was even a debate session organised by the college to underplay this topic. Always ready for debate though, I took on 4 of the best debators that the college could throw at me...and blitzed it. Now My Views on this Topic: There is a certain limit to PDA. One cannot be accepted to take a light view to public Nudity, and that is an obvious fact. One also shoudnt be expected to be ok if they see a couple doing it by the lake or in a garden. The ABove is clearly indecent and thus punishable. But, at the same time, there is a very thin line between indecency and Affection. I would love to see someone object to me hugging and siting or maybe even cuddling up to her when I am siting at a McDonalds with a couple of friends. Or for that matter, I would love to see someone object to me giving her an occasional kiss on her cheek or lips just to tell her I love her. Obviously, in this case, we arent talking about making out for an extended amount of time. In any case, who is going to decide where the line of affection ends and where the line to indecency begins? Our Politicians, who appear to be the beacons of morality in daylight and are seen at their local Dance bar after hours, or the policy makers who are mostly old men in their 80s who probably dont know what being in love with someone means. As you see, This topic is something that means a lot to me. And to hell with policy. Stop me from holding hands, hugging or even kissing the one I love, and all you will end up with is a Bloody nose or a Black eye. Or maybe both.
	() Thanks

17th March 2010, 10:53	#36
abhayshanu BHPian Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Mumbai Posts: 707 Thanked: 326 Times View My Garage	I indulge in PDA with my girl friend. I do hug, sit close, and sometimes kiss, but that is it, and i feel that this much isnt a huge deal. But yes i have seen people do this and much much more under a umbrella or a chunni. That is extremely indecent, and it is because of those people that people like us, who are educated and understand the difference between romantic and utterly obscene.
	() Thanks

17th March 2010, 10:59	#37
e1t1bet BHPian Join Date: May 2008 Location: Bangalore Posts: 106 Thanked: 27 Times	I have a few points to make: (1) If someone wants to make-out in public, it is his/her choice. No law can be enforced as long as it is consensual. (2) It is the parent's prerogative to teach their kids about sex, and love making. Especially in a country which has a huge AIDS problem. (3) Sex, and love making became a taboo in our society only recently. 500 years back, we were, in some ways, more liberal than the west of today. It is dumb to term such behaviour sacrilegious, claim a 'holier than thou' stance, and turn a blind eye towards Khajuraho, Kamasutra or the fact that the brits were appalled when they found that orgies with Devadasis in temples was a norm. I find it amusing how we, despite recording 7-8% growth during a recession, love to go backwards. Remember; your freedom ends where my nose begins.
	() Thanks

17th March 2010, 11:06	#38
amitoj Senior - BHPian Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Windham, NH USA Posts: 3,406 Thanked: 3,499 Times View My Garage	Making out in public is NOT PDA. It seems the OP witnessed the former, which is not proper. Maybe the title should be changed accordingly.
	() Thanks

17th March 2010, 11:42	#43
tsk1979 Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 23,695 Thanked: 23,484 Times View My Garage	Remember the three monkeys? Just close your eyes, and the problem, will go away. Why trouble somebody who is just having fun and not harming anybody else. There are far worse things in this world to be bothered about!
	() Thanks

17th March 2010, 11:49	#44
srishiva Senior - BHPian Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Bengaluru Posts: 4,372 Thanked: 2,260 Times	Even with people who find it fine doing PDA, they are putting limits to it. I guess its hard to arrive on the limits since it could be different for different people. The problem is the whole society does not go together and the limits are therefore not uniform.
	() Thanks