[speedmiester]

This happened to me yesterday during lunch in my office.

My colleagues and I are having lunch. It's a group of 7 people. One of my colleague started complaining about her car's clutch and poor FE. I absentmindedly said "Get it checked with your A.S.S."

For a moment there was absolute silence with everyone staring at me. I slowly realized what I just said. Then it was time for me to explain to my colleagues about the abbreviation for "authorized service station."

Moral: Not everyone understands the automotive abbreviations we petrol heads use. Please refrain from using those in front of other people.

[vb-saan]

Excellent thread - especially for a Friday afternoon.

Here is one incident I can remember:

• Year: 2001
• Location: Sathorn, Bangkok
• Actors: Myself Khun VB , and Khun Aem (wrong nick name), a consultant from my client office

I was having a coffee after one marathon meeting in the afternoon, and a gleaming Kh. Aem made a dramatic entry to the office, talking to his colleagues in Thai. And then he spotted me. Rest of the story follows:

Kh. Aem: Kh. VB Kh. VB, I so happy!
Kh. VB: Hi Kh. Aem, you look very happy indeed. What is the matter?
Kh. Aem: I happy, I happy, Congratulations!!
Kh. VB: Congratulations? For what?
Kh. Aem: now shaking hands of Kh.VB, Congratulations to you! My wife is pregnant!!! I so happy, I so happy!
Kh. VB: What?? (almost fell off the chair with a puzzled expression)
Kh. Aem: Yes Yes, my wife pregnant. I congratulate you!
Kh. VB: I have never seen your wife!

And by then some other colleagues around overheard this, started laughing hysterically. Luckily, one of them had the patience to explain the joke to Kh. Aem in Thai. And his expression was worth the moment.

In reality this is what he was planning to say, but words like ‘I’, ‘you’, ‘me’ got interchanged when his thoughts was translated to English

Kh. Aem: You please congratulate me! My wife is pregnant!!! I am so happy, I am so happy!
Kh. VB: What???
Kh. Aem: Yes Yes, my wife pregnant. You congratulate me!

[rohan_iitr]

This happened when I was still in school. My father and I were returning home after some shopping when we stopped to buy some tandoori chicken from a nearby restaurant.

After buying it, my dad and I wanted to rush back home and enjoy the chicken while it was still hot. In the hurry, dad started his Bajaj scooter and just took off without waiting for me to sit on the pillion seat. It all happened so quickly and the place was so noisy that he could not hear me calling him.

When he reached home, mom asked dad why are you back alone and where is our son ? Then it struck him that he had left me stranded at the restaurant where we purchased the tandoori chicken from.

He came back looking for me. By that time, I had also started walking towards my home. We met mid way and had a nice laugh.

Needless to mention that the tandoori chicken was cold by the time we reached home.

Rohan

[avisidhu]

This is a bit embarrasing to recount, but as they say, the best sense of humor is the ability to laugh at oneself. So here it goes:

I went to New Delhi railway station to board a train to my hometown in Punjab. The train departs around 1:30 pm(Janta express IIRC).
Around the same time (with about 10 mins time difference), the same Janta Express returning from Punjab and going to Mumbai arrives at this station at another platform.

Needless to explain, in my hurry I boarded the wrong train, and fell asleep in a matter of minutes. Woke up after around two hours and looked outside. The vegetation and fields looked a bit peculiar to me, I was wondering which part of Haryana has a topography like that.
I guy comes up and asks "When will this train reach Kota?" I give him a look as of he has lost his mind, and he goes away. Seconds later, the tubelight switches on

The TT arrives in a few minutes and confirms my worst fear. He is kind hearted enough to not fine me for being without ticket and tells me what to do.
Call my parents and tell them that I got delayed due to some reason and will be taking the next train home. Drop off at Mathura junction, and take Punjab Mail to reach home next day morning, a five hour journey streched to almost 16 hours.

Hand mom a box full of the famous Pedas and tell her these are from Mathura, and recount the entire tale when asked how I managed to get these. Dad and mom had a lovely time pulling my leg the entire weekend

[Jaguar]

This happened in Delhi around 93-94. One of my mom's colleagues had been recently transferred from Kerala to Delhi and apparently he was not well versed in hindi. This was him bragging about how well he bargained with the rikshaw walla.
After a short trip, the rikshaw walla demanded a fare of "dhai rupiah". Now, our friend knew hindi numbers till 15, so he started counting, ek, do, teen, char, panch, ..... pandrah, still no dhai So in broken hindi he told the rikshaw walla, "pandrah doonga, bas" and left after paying Rs.15 . Only when his colleagues explained the next day that he realized his blunder.

PS: For the people who don't understand hindi, dhai = 2.50. So he paid Rs.15 in place of Rs.2.50

[sandip]

This happened a couple of days back in my office.

One of the executive directors, male,50ish got red faced (I could see it through his beard) even as my colleagues and self were inside his cabin after he looked at his laptop screen.

Frustrated, he asked us to look at the mail he had received from a CFO of one of his clients.

Apparently his OOO read as below :

"Hi, I am on maternity leave and will join back on xx-xx-xx
Please contact --- in case of anything urgent"

We did not know how to react, we were about to burst out but our instincts prevented us from doing so.

I broke the ice and the awkward silence by stating the obvious - his mail account was linked to his secretary's who was on maternity leave and some how their OOOs were exchanged.

Can't wait for his secretary to get back. Want to watch her reactions to this.

[Samurai]

In the 80s and before, renting an apartment in Bangalore used to be lot more challenging. Since it was pre-apartment culture days, it was a landlord's market than tenant's market. The landlords used to put numerous conditions like religion, caste, veggie status, marital status, job situation, etc, etc. I pity the kind of hoops my dad had to jump before securing a rental house.

Here is a very heart warming story from 1982. My dad had just transferred from Coorg to Bangalore, he was a bank manager then. My dad's colleague took him house hunting around Jayanagar. Since it was already mid June, my dad was in a hurry. He could decide on schools only after securing a house. Keep in mind there were no school buses then, school had to be close to home.

But the various restrictions thrown up landlords was making the hunt very difficult. Non-vegetarians or non-Brahmans were not exactly welcome in most areas of Jayanagar then. Finally he zeroed in on a house which was smaller than expected, but would suffice for a year. It was one of the two 1BR houses right above the landlord's house. The rent was negotiated and the landlord agreed to rent the house. Right then, two people walked in...

Visitors: Hello Sir, we would live to rent one of your houses.
Landlord: Hmm, are you brahmans?
Visitors: No.
Landlord: Very sorry, we only rent to Brahmans.
Visitors: Oh, alright then. Thanks for your time.

Let me mention here that my dad was very fair looking gentleman who often used to be mistaken as Brahman. After watching this scene unfold in front of him, my dad was shocked and turned to his colleague. He shook his head implying to keep quiet. But my dad felt morally obligated and decided to tell the truth right there.

Dad: Excuse me, you didn't ask, so I didn't tell. I am not a Brahman.

The Landlord was shocked at the revelation and was tongue-tied. After a few moments...

Landlord: I'll need to discuss with my wife... [and he went inside]
[After 10 minutes he came out]
Landlord: Under normal circumstances, I would refuse to you. But, considering your honesty, my wife and I feel that we would be the inferior ones if we punish you for your honesty. Therefore, we will rent the house to you. But please take house on the rear since it is not right above our house. But please keep the house clean.

That is how this landlord rented his house for the first time to a meat eating non-brahman family. At first they were concerned how we would keep the house. It was believed then all meat-eaters keep their homes very dirty. The first time the landlady visited our house, she almost expected to find chicken/fish bones lying on the ground. After a few months, she even told us we are welcome to cook non-veg stuff in the house. She was stunned when my mother replied that we have been cooking non-veg every week. My mother is a neat-nut, so she always keeps the house super clean. Eventually the landlady conceded that the house never looked so clean in 30 years of renting. Even though we moved to a bigger house next year, we continued to stay in touch and our families became lifelong friends.

I have to note here that the landlord and landlady were no ordinary individuals. They were highly enlightened people who could look beyond caste/lifestyle and see the goodness in others, which was not possible for most people then. The landlord was a retired headmaster of National High school, and landlady was a famous Kannada author in the 60s-90s.

PS: This house was just one house across Anil Kumble's house.

[vb-saan]

Originally Posted by Samurai

In the 80s and before, renting an apartment in Bangalore used to be lot more challenging. Since it was pre-apartment culture days, it was a landlord's market than tenant's market. The landlords used to put numerous conditions like religion, caste, veggie status, marital status, job situation, etc, etc. I pity the kind of hoops my dad had to jump before securing a rental house.

Thanks for sharing this. Brought back the memories of house hunting in Bangalore during late 90s. Even then, it was a landlord's market and even we faced all those conditions you mentioned. I even did a trip down the memory lane last year when I visited Bangalore

[driverace]

So, day before yesterday, I was watching this movie "Sucker Punch"..

Movie stood upto its name,
except, there was no punch there!!

And, then there was this single girl at the movie! Who was sitting one seat away from me..

As usual, I was goofing around in the movie,
(create new jokes from the ones in the film..)

there were two girls in front row,
who were doing_god_knows_what,
but they were also enjoying, and jumping out of chairs now and then..

Overall it was fun..(for all!)

Then, in the movie, there was this dialogue..
"something something.. Sweet Pea .. something somthing"

That cracked me up like Joey is cracked up with "No.1 and No.2 "!!

I repeated it twice "Hahahah Sweet Pea..., Hahah Sweet Pee!!? Really?" and Me and my friend, and the noisy girls in the front started laughing.. "Hahaha"..

Then the single girl snaps at me,
" can you keep it down a lil bit.."

Now.. that>> was a Sucker Punch!

I was like,
" Look at the noisy girls in the front.. we are not telling them to keep it down or low!.. are we..?"

<But, ya.. didnt say that out loud! .. >
Or,
I was like,
" Oh comme on!, this movie.. really!?"
< But, I didnt say that either!! >

(There have been many such movies, when I went with my college group..
We were always shushed at !!
We were the shushees, never the shushers!! always the shushees!!)

care,

Ace.

[Samurai]

Originally Posted by driverace

We were always shushed at !!
We were the shushees, never the shushers!! always the shushees!!

Get married, have a kid. You can be shusher for next 15 years at least.

[Arkin evoisrevo]

Originally Posted by Samurai

Get married, have a kid. You can be shusher for next 15 years at least.

Fifteen years max, then it back for you adults to get shushed by people like me.

Anyway, here's an anecdote from my side, about "shushing"

When the i10 was new, my dad once overtook an Indicab from the right on OA road. The idiot middle aged driver pulls up and bangs his hand on my door. I put down my window and he says in chaste Kannada"Why are you making the car dance on the road". (Neenu.......allisthaidiya) Kannada speakers like will understand that he was being impolite in his usage of words, but my dad who's not so well versed in it was scratching his head. Now I'm the kind who usually gets angry quick, esp. if someone tries offending my parents, but I somehow was in too good a mood to give him a mouthful. What did I do? I put a really comical expression on my face and said "shhhhhh" (like a dad playing with his little kid) and put up my window. The expression on his face was out of the world He started shouting, but it turned green, so I couldn't insult him anymore.

[driverace]

Originally Posted by Samurai

Get married, have a kid. You can be shusher for next 15 years at least.

Hehe,
Ok, so, you a shusher, I gather!!

I put a really comical expression on my face and said "shhhhhh" (like a dad playing with his little kid) and put up my window. The expression on his face was out of the world He started shouting, but it turned green, so I couldn't insult him anymore.

Make sure you make your glasses scratch-stone-bullet proof, before going ahead on such shushing!! lolz

v.funny!


care,

Ace.

[anilisanil]

This is a true incident. We were attending our Automobile Engineering class in our B Tech and the lecturer is explaining the concept of LHD and RHD, just as he completed saying that a RHD has the steering on right side and LHD on left one of the students shouted "Then what hand drive is a road roller"

The lecturer looked at the student and retorted "Lets call it SHD (the students name starts with S) it suits better". And you have to see the way the whole class was in splits!

[Swanand Inamdar]

This happened way back during my college days.

I was returning from college, around noon. Relatively less traffic (this is Pune back in the late 90's). On a particular traffic signal, the signal got red just as i was about to cross it. Halted immediately.
Soon a man on a scooter comes up next to me, halts the scooter and stops. In a couple of seconds he falls down with the scooter. I try to help when he gets up and starts laughing. Now this got me curious - either he was out of his mind or he was in high spirits. So i give him a weird look.
Looking at me and understanding my thoughts he says - " Oh ji kal tak meri scooter ko side car tha! Bhool gaya ki nikaal diya hai !

English: My scooter had a side car till yesterday and i completely forgot that i have got it removed!

[anilisanil]

I generally opt for automatically correct the spelling errors option in OL before sending the mail, but have the normally used names added to the dictionary.

Once my system at office crashed and a new OS was installed and the the word list I added got reset. So one of my mails after automatic spell check read
XXXXXX,


XXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX

Regards,

An@l! (My name is Anil and it got changed to.....)


And the mail went to the whole project group!!