[kalpeshc]

Stick to breastfeeding for the first year. Breast milk has almost magical properties - I've read somewhere that the constitution adapts itself to the baby's requirements.

For good information on parenting infants, read 'What to Expect: The First Year'. It's an excellent book for first time parents.

[Torque-ative]

Wow,..what a thread.
I am the proud father of a 2yr and 9 month old brat-tat-at !!!
I have another cookie in the oven and hope its a girl to tone me and the brat down !!

It magical ,..this thing called parenthood.

The first year is invariably very edgy,...you hardly sleep cos of the night time poo, chaging,...feeding !! What tears you up howevre is childhood sickessess.

I "was" an old case of bronchial asthma,..and was worried to death that my son would inherit this one from me,..and everytime he would have a bought of cold or the flu I could never sleep.

I am glad he shows no signs and we have been very careful in ensuring he has a balanced bringing up. Some do' and donts.

• Never over-feed the baby/toddler
• Ensure they get their daily sunshine
• Never over cloth in the winters, if their ears and fet are warm they are ok.
• Ensure breathing from the nose is a habbit they learn very early in life.
• Ensure they get plenty of excersice from day one.

[vivekiny2k]

Originally Posted by Torque-ative

• Ensure they get their daily sunshine

I couldn't stress that enough, here is a testimony. In this country where sunshine is scarce except in summer, we always have a disagreement over how much to expose to sunlight. being dark skinned, our skins (melanin) block most of UV, which means we need more exposure to sunlight compared to light skinned people here. since sunlight is scarce, people eventually loose melanin (become white) over generations to be able to absorb more UV (to make vitamin D). Eskimos don't loose it because they get their Vitamin D from fish they eat.


anyway, My younger son suffered from rashes on his cheeks since he was 2 months till around 8 months. Then we made a trip to myrtle beach, one week of strong sun and sea breeze and he never got that problem again. winter is coming again and I hope he has overcome that problem completely.

[slipstream]

just wanted to share an emotional moment with my daughter today (she's 4 1/2 years old)

Have been picking up Prathiksha from her day care centre for the last one week or so as wifey is working late. I'd been noticing a black cat perched on a window sill by the gate of the day care centre almost every day for the past one week. Prathiksha had been hesistating to even approach the gate, with the cat a little to the right of it and I would literally have to carry her out . Well, its a fully black cat with green eyes and its understandably scary for a kid to see 2 green eyes staring at her in the dark. And Prathiksha continued to be scared no matter how much I assured her it was harmless.

Today, as we approached the gate, the cat was missing. Prathi looked all around and asked me "Daddy, where is the meow cat ?" I casually mentioned "He has gone home, Prathiksha. He is very sad that you are scared of him when he has not done anything to you. He will not come here anymore" Prathi went totally silent. 5 minutes later we were home and Prathi was still silent but I really didnt notice it. I heard my neighbour's TV playing a tamil song that Prathi loved and quickly turned on my TV and switched to that channel. Carried Prathi and sat her on my lap and only towards the end of the song did I realize that she wasnt her usual self. I turned her towards me and found her eyes filled with tears. I asked her why she was crying and she said "Daddy, lets bring that meow cat home" I was surprised as I couldnt quite relate her tears to the cat incident at all. She went on "I will not be scared of it Daddy. Lets keep in the balcony...in one corner" and she then burst into tears. Hugged her tight and said "Dont worry baby. I just spoke to meow cat and told him you like him a lot. He so happy now and he's not sad any more. He has a mummy and daddy just like you have and he will be very happy with them only"

she looked at me as if she had understood so much and then...smiled, wiping away her tears.

Left me with a heavy heart and felt should share it immediately with you guys.

[SirAlec]

we are enjoying every bit of the moment too. My toddler is now 9 months old. and yeah its our 1st child.

[Rotorhead]

They make the world look so very beautiful with their wonderful smile and innocent and simplified outlook towards even the life's most complicated matters. They shower their love with utter selflessness and the have ability to make you temporarily forget even the worst of your sorrows with a great big hug and a kiss and blow away all your days tiredness with a single smile and the manner in which they come flying into your arms.

This thread is dedicated to all those members who have young children at home and are expecting to be a parent sooner or later. This thread is to share any inputs or tips that would help you understand your child better, and inturn find the child in you. We could share some useful tips such as what do you do when a child is being extensively irritating at times , what if he is stubborn excessively, how do you treat a common cold, who are the good pediatrics in your locality, what are the good schools around your place, some of remedies for common ailments for children etc..etc and the list goes on.

I have a son ,aadi (aaditya roshan), who is 5 years old and what more can I say, my world revolves around him and is truly the apple of my eye. I had the opportunity to make a lot of money staying away from him on an prolonged assignment to the US, but I gave it up just because I couldnt stay away from him even for a single day. He is just too adorable and no matter the stress levels accumulated from office and other daily activities, the moment he runs into my arms after i return home, I forget everything else and he infuses a lot of energy into me despite being totally fagged out.

Ok here are some tips from my end.

Good toy shops around bangalore :

• Sapphires (both on brigades and the new one close to lifestyle)
• The shopping malls such as oasis, star, garuda also have some good choices of toys at reasonable prices.

Good pediatricians around koramangla:

• Dr. Vinod (this is his residence/clinic which is bang opposite the church near sony world junction). He charges 200 bucks per visit i guess.
• Dr. Vasant (his clinic is close to viveknagar bus stop circle, but if you want to see your child get a quick releif then he is not the right person since he does not believe in giving medicines to children. Which in one way is very good, but sometimes you cannot bear to see your child suffer for too long)

Some random tips

• Educate your child on the importance of hygene. Encourage them to wash their hands as often as possible.
• Carry a good hand sanitizer always.
• Carry wet wipes and paper napkins. Get the child used to using these rather than cloth napkins.
• Avoid aerated drinks/coffee/tea at any cost and fruit juices while out on a trip. Water is the cause of most child ailments. My wife always carries a packet of "tang" in her bag. If the child insists on juice in restaurants then all you need to ask for is clean bottled water and some sugar.
• Be very careful when it comes to chosing dresses and shoes. The child in most cases doesnt even realize the discomfort till we notice it. Your child might complain of leg pain maybe caused by an uncomfortable shoe/sock or you can see body rashes because of the fabric. So as far as possible ensure that the outfits are comfortable and airy.
• For chest congestion, steam inhalation is probably a best cure and is suggested by most doctors. These units are available in almost all major medical stores at the price of 200 Rs approx.
• once or twice a week, give the child a good oil massage(I use johnsons baby oil) and bath possibly with a couple of drops of nilgiri oil. It is a great disinfectant. Bangaloreans on a visit to ooty , can get this and a 250 ml can come for a good 6-7 months. I can let you know of a place where I get it whenever i visit the place.
• Encourage good sitting posture. A lot of kids I have seen have the habit of eating food on the beds or watching TV lying down which is not good. Spend a little bit to get a good chair for your child and a study table too and equally worth it to spend a few hundred bucks to get a good study lamp.
• Encourage the child on out-door games rather than indoors. Physical activity helps the child to gain better health, and also an opportunity to mingle with other children. Take them out to parks often. I take my child pretty often to the koramangala childrens park near bethanys. TV and video games to be avoided as far as possible. If your wife is a TV addict then make sure you take the kids to a separate room and play with them.
• Keep the TV and radio decibels low. Kids are very sensitive to loud noises. Speak low while you address your child and encourage others around you child to keep the decibels low while talking
• If you are planning to go out on a long ride on your bike then get a good face mask to avoid too much of smoke inhalation and always give the child a good face and body wipe after that. The smoke, dust and fuel residues can cause a lot of skin issues and eye problems
• Start your childs day with a big glassful of milk or a healthy milkshake.
• Though most kids are averse to vegetables, its upto the parents to make the vegetables interesting. The dishes too can be made intersting. I give palak with chappati and each bite of chappati is an assumed fighter jet or an UFO which the monster is suspposed to swallow up . Children can be made to eat the food that they dont dislike, it all depends on how you can improvize on your feeding techniques. My son likes to eat salads, so i try to mix things he dislikes such as palak, ladys finger etc ,mixed with salads.
• Whenever you travel, make sure you carry the essential medical kits such as bandaid, savlon, pediatric paracetomol, digestion syrup,Benadryl etc. Kids are very sensitive to climate, water, air etc, so its always helpful to carry such emergency items.
• Make studies interesting. Simple things like math can be taught by day to day activities such as additions/subtractions using his toy cars, or biscuits etc. Mind you, the children have a capablity to learn much more than what we percieve. When you give a child some homework make sure you mark a good or very good with a small shiny star of intersting stickers. It makes things more interesting for your child and at some level you too love the teacher in you by doing this. Didnt we all like to see the goods , very goods and the stars in our homeworks or tests when we were children?
• Make sure you answer to your kids queries. Their inquisitiveness is their way of learning this world. But again a lot of discretion is required here on the subject on which he is seeking clarification. Most queries may sound stupid or irritiating , but keep in mind that its probably because your child is experiencing such things first time in his/her life and looks up only to you primarily to clarify.
• non vegetarians, while making your non-veg dishes, please keep aside the soup. The soup is pretty much liked by most kids and is also very healthy for the child.
• For children during the nappy years, please watchout for nappy rashes. If the child is highly irritable and incosolable then need to look for the same first . If found irritable immediately after food then its probably because of his urge to burp. for small children, they need to be picked up and patted gently on their backs to get the burp out.
• While on long drives , carry his/her portable potty, most urban kids now are used to european style potties and the indian ones can be quite a challenge and the european ones are more hygenic too. Also carry boiled water and pack your home made food and nick nacks and avoid feeding child in the restaurants en-route.
• Educate the importance of wearing the seat belts and educate them on road safety and the necessity to be with an elder while crossing roads or while playing on streets.
• Let the chocolates and ice-creams remain as treats only and only given to them once a while. Keep them as rewards for a job well done like how it was when we were children. Some old tricks still work.
• Avoid junk food at any cost, eventhough your kid might find them the yummiest and will try all possible tricks to get their share of junk food. But dont deny them these simple pleasure of life and let them indulge in the occassional burger or pizza. Againd keep these outing as rewards for a job well done or for good behaviour
• Dont let you child to take things for granted. Make sure you kids know the value of toys, and value of being well mannered.
• Encourage kids to share. To do that ask him to share things with you or your wife or others at home. Get him used to the concept of sharing so that he will do the same when he goes out. Its just a mental block with the child the he/she wants everything for himself/herself.

while we are at it, can someone let me know if i can download any free bedtime stories from the net? my son is no absolutely bored stiff with the same stories but with different variations. Right now i am out of stories to tell my child while putting him to sleep. Any help will be highly appreciated.

These are just a few random thoughts that i have shared with you and in no particular order. These are a few inputs from what I have gathered in my 5years as a parent. Some of my views can be wrong, so please spare me for that.

Expecting to hear a few more tips and tricks from more senior folks. Any pediatric or child phychiatric in this forum who would wish to nominate themselves as agony aunts/uncles for queries on childs health and behaviour. ??

[sushantr5]

Nice article. I am still single but found this article very useful. So I have bookmarked this link for future use .

Efforts taken here shows a good father in you.

[Rotorhead]

Originally Posted by sushantr5

Nice article. I am still single but found this article very useful. So I have bookmarked this link for future use .

Efforts taken here shows a good father in you.

Thanks sushant. When it comes to children no amount of effort is enough. Its more of a pleasure to be around children than an effort . Once you have a child you will see the amount of difference these little people can make to your life and the amount of happiness and glow they bring into your world. Its simply one of the most fantastic travelogues to travel this journey with your child from being just born, to be able to talk, then to walk and then learn the ways of life and you as a parent at the very helm of things, teaching, guiding and loving him and getting absolute, unconditional love and adoration from your child in return. One person who really feels that you are the superman or he-man, no matter that you in real world you may be the person who screams out at the first sight of a roach.

I have just added this thread, since a lot of things have changed for the better and for the worse for the current generation of children. Parents are increasingly finding it difficult to spend time with their children and in all this mad rush of life, I have seen a lot of parents encouraging kids to play video games, watch too much of cartoons, and give them all that they want just to keep the kids from irritating them further and keep them quite. Kids can sometimes get onto your nerves, but then wot the heck we brought the angels down here from the heavens above, so we'd better make it worthwhile for them. As a parent its our duty to teach the kids on better things in life and give them the best that we are supposed to. No use blaming the kid on being a spoilt brat, or turning out into a thug, maybe parents should look a little deeper and try to understand the child a little more closely. To summarize , we are getting used to shortcuts in life and in the process a lot of good practices passed on from old times are lost and hence wanted have a thread that gives a good insight into some healthy tips and tricks to enjoy parenting and in turn help your child to have a better and healthier childhood.

Parenting to me didnt come to me easily either, I have learnt more from my son than what i have taught him. I am more patient, sensitive and more responsible than i ever was. Every moment with my son aadi is a learning experience and a chance to revisit my childhood and to understand and feel what our parents have gone through for us which most of us dont realize or appreciate till we have a child of our own.

Thanks for your appreciation once again. Wish that my son comes across this thread when grows up and get to know how much his father adores him. . Btw like father, like son, he too is absolutely car crazy and can rattle off most of the names of most cars now. His favourite though is the mustang ..can you imagine, the supra and lambo come a close second and third for him. For me i never knew any other car other than the ferrari or the maruti/fiat/amby till i was like 12-13 years old .

[MuraliR]

Wonderful Thread.

Toys : In addition to the above -

1. Toys and Toys, Indiranagar
2. Apple of My I, Indiranagar
--------------------------------------

Getaway locations with kid - within Bangalore -

1. Cubbon Park
2. Fun World
3. Lumbini Gardens

[lambuhere1]

Books : Good Collection at Sapna Book Stores.

Everytime I go there, I HAVE to pick up a book for my son.

Clothes/Toys : Lifestyle, Apple of my I, Bangalore Central

[Rotorhead]

Originally Posted by MuraliR

Wonderful Thread.

Getaway locations with kid - within Bangalore -

1. Cubbon Park
2. Fun World
3. Lumbini Gardens

one more addition to this, take your child to the science museum near to cubbon park. Its a great picnic opporunity. You can have a visit to the museum and have a picnic at cubbon park. There is also a McDonalds closeby for a yummy burger.

Another nice place to take your child is to the ulsoor lake, evenings is a good time to be there with a lot of crowd and hence a lot of interactive learning for your child.

For the occassional pizzas, koramangla is the place to be. There is pizza hut, dominos and papa johns located close to each other near the koramangla bus depot. For good pastries, one can visit the sweet chariot at koramangla .

[anonymous]

Very informative thread and I agree with most of the points. My kid is around 4 years old now and whenever me or my wife asks him to do anything, he tends to ignore and only listens after 3/4 repetition. I find this situation very difficult to deal with so some time I loose my temper and either shout at him or slap him lightly.
I am sure that will be a better way to deal with this scenario but do not what it is. Anyone?

[Rotorhead]

Originally Posted by anonymous

Very informative thread and I agree with most of the points. My kid is around 4 years old now and whenever me or my wife asks him to do anything, he tends to ignore and only listens after 3/4 repetition. I find this situation very difficult to deal with so some time I loose my temper and either shout at him or slap him lightly.
I am sure that will be a better way to deal with this scenario but do not what it is. Anyone?

Primarily you will need to observe if its an attention defecit issue. If the issue is that you are saying something and he has not heard it , then it could probably be as simple as a fact that he is engrossed in something else and hasnt heard you. This happens to us grown ups too a lot of times you would agree. But if he has heard it and has not responded, then just like how we folks do not wish to be disturbed or assigned a new task while we are already doing something then you might need to wait for the child to finish his current activity or help him speeden it up so that he can do what you have instructed him to next. multi-tasking is tough whether to children or grownups. On the other hand if it is question of plain stubborness, being a little strict does help but avoid yelling or slapping the child. You can be stern without being agressive and thats where the trick lies and is the toughest part to master. Dont we guys also face the same issue while we are at office or other places. How do you tell your irritating colleague to buzz off without being overtly agressive, or tell your team member that he is not delivering without resulting to agressive tactics. Its just a matter of trying various means of being stern without being agressive. There is a thin line here. Bottom line is a child is also a person and shares a lot of characteristics with a grown up, so each case needs to be handled differently. As a parent each one us know what works and what doesnt work with the child and hence take a call on how to handle the situation. Sometimes it works some times it doesnt, but parenting is as much a learning process to the parent as much it is to the child. But the bottom line is how not to use agression . If you use agression , then you introuduce this trait into your child indirectly and without your knowledge. I must admit that the agression and anger shown by my son is primarily because of me resorting to such rare aggressions during certain circumstances. You can clearly make out that your child is trying to imitate you in body language and behaviour and is a clear indication of where they got it from.

[sonirohit]

wow - that's a quite a comprehensive list.
I agree with most of the things that you've written here, my general view is that let the children explore as much as they can on their own, observe them but don't interrupt them. If they do something wrong - again don't explicitly tell them the right way of doing that thing, instead let them observe you and then perform. It works wonders for me - btw I have a 3 year old daughter

to keep em busy - you can try youtube, once you are able to find the right stuff to keep the kids entertained you can download these videos from youtube for offline viewing.

[Rotorhead]

Originally Posted by sonirohit

to keep em busy - you can try Youtube, once you are able to find the right stuff to keep the kids entertained you can download these videos from Youtube for offline viewing.

On the other hand, try getting one of those plastic tents that you get in most toy stores now for approx 500 bucks and throw in a cooking set and a few balls and barbie dolls inside, you can see that your daughter will be totally engrossed with that for hours together.

Just a suggestion(only a suggestion) that please avoid gadgets, tv or computers , especially considering she is just 3 years old now. Keep somethings for later, something that they can explore and enjoy as they become bigger. If we give them everything now, then there is nothing much they can learn or try at other later stages of life. When you have nothing much to do then you become idle and an idle mind is the devils playground. Dont expose them to everything rightaway. Keep something for when they grow up. Its still a far way ahead by the time your child grows into an adult so reserve a few interesting activities for later stages.