[anjan_c2007]

Sad to say but many of we Indians talk loudly amongst ourselves in locales with a quiet ambience. For instance, it's commonplace during train travel when especially in the dead of the night, while everybody is asleep, a group of travellers board the train and start talking loudly. They are obvious of the fact that passengers in other berths are in deep sleep. Needless to say everybody in the vicinity is disturbed. Quite a few amongst the sleeping passengers may have to deboard at their destinations during dawn, a few hours hence.

A newsitem prompted me to write this thread. One Indian family travelling in Finland by train from Lapland to Helsinki in a quiet train coach started talking loudly. One of them was on a video call irking another NRI in his vicinity. Gokul Sridhar (@gokul) took to X sharing his ordeal:-

“I'm on a train from Lapland to Helsinki and there's one family in the otherwise ULTRA QUIET carriage that's being very loud, talking to someone over a video call. In Hindi. With their cabin doors open. We REALLY don't get civic sense, do we?” He further added that ironically this incident happened right when he was watching a video that explained that talking loudly in trains is frowned upon in Japan as it is considered bad manners.

The newslink further says, "If Sridhar thought that he had to bear the family only for the duration of the train, he was wrong. He updated in the comment section of his post that he somehow ended up in the same restaurant as the family who were again talking to someone loudly and that too without headphones. An X user advised Sridhar, “Easier to stop by and request them to close the door and lower their voice?” To which he retorts, “Yup I'm gonna do that but there shouldn't even be a need for this, is my point.”"

The post has since received more than 12k views and the comment section has divided reaction to this. A user sharing his own experience said, “Same in Manc. I'm on a train to London on the quiet coach trying to get some sleep. Guess who's talking on their phone loudly in the QUIET COACH”

However, some sympathetic users asked Sridhar to tell them instead of complaining about them on social media. One user said, “And you chose to post on X rather than educating them to be quiet. Might be their first time on foreign land and out of excitement.. as a concerned Indian you must have told them the etiquettes politely.. posting on X will not improve the situation.”

The link:-
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/.../116637434.cms

The point is it has been so in our country since generations. Many of us lack civic sense. In the dead of the night in quiet localities, we get people drive down with cars coming to some acquaintance near our homes and blowing their jarring horns and also reversing their cars with equally jarring reverse horns. Even many go for late night drives through residential localities, listening to music much too loudly on their cars' music systems, again disturbing the serene ambience at night.

It's time to educate ourselves with more concern towards others by remaining silent in places that demand and often beg for our silence.

[Axe77]

Another example is lifts, crowded or otherwise. I’ve seen people carry on loud conversations in crowded lifts and it’s beyond ridiculous. The other day, I saw a lady in the office lift on a zoom call, without any earphones or similar devices - so you have to listen to not just her but also everyone else on her call (I’m not even getting into aspects of organizational privacy concerns relating to the conversation). I don’t know what spectacular contribution she was making to the discussion that she could not recuse herself for the 40 seconds she was in the lift.

The short point is that for the most part, we are a loud country with little to no civic sense in any aspect of life - loud conversations / celebrations are just one example.

[Chetan_Rao]

I once asked a gentleman on a train to kindly use earphones for his music. The moment I turned around, he turned up the volume.

We aren't just oblivious or lacking sense. We're often maliciously and intentionally inconsiderate.

[rt363]

Adding on to the nuisance is now people watching instagram/ youtube reels without any headphone. Complete lack of CIVIC sense.

[NomadSK]

I so much wanted to go “LOUD” on this thread, but I would refrain myself, lest I would get into an infraction zone and be inconsiderate to my other fellow members. Pushing, shoving, yelling, shouting, honking, cleanliness, jumping queues and no idea of anyone’s personal space are just a few mannerism coming to fore.

The need for good manners/etiquettes stems from the need to be considerate to others. It is this lack of consideration that results in atrocious behavior towards others, be it in public space or in personal space. No matter how rosy a picture we paint, there is not a shred of doubt that we are living in very darkest times. All is well, All is well, when in reality nothing is well. We are mostly in survival mode all the time, that we give blind eye to others and have lost empathy towards others.

It’s been 15+ years that my mobile phone is on vibrating mode, lest it would disturb anyone. The most irritating is when someone’s unattended phone keeps continuously ringing at his desk.

[kiku007]

Besides the obvious lack of concern for fellow human beings, animals and surroundings in general, I would like to point out the other key issue related to the high decibel habituation in India.

Indians are constantly surrounded by high decibel sound/noise around them. Day or night, home or outside. One irritating sound is drowned by using another louder sound!! This results in people getting habituated to a certain decibel level constantly that it doesn’t matter to them anymore and assume that this is how others feel as well.

There was a discussion some years back in TBHP about how silent and well behaved children from western countries were at restaurants. Even here it was thought that a child running around and shouting in a restaurant is normal behaviour. Well, it is not. You gotta teach children to behave in public places.

My dad had a simple but uncommon rule during my childhood. I have to turn off the TV if we have a guest in our living room. Have a think about it. Did this happen in your home then or now? A cable TV being on was a constant fixture in many households where I grew up. It just played something or the other for the whole day!!

Anyways, all you can do is educate your family and friends within the boundaries of your social contract.

[mayuresh]

Very important topic. There are many annoying scenarios we face day in day out where telling anyone is like inviting quarrel, so better to develop resilience and learn to live with it:

Scenarios

- India is full of festivities that, the newly grown "tradition" demands, are to be celebrated with walls of loud speakers.

- Private parties, birthdays, receptions in residential societies : Even if people assembled there can't hear each other it's fine, but the whole locality must take a note of your party - seems to be the purpose of playing loud music there.

- Same goes with the music playing at public places like malls, restaurants etc - for no particular reason.

- Vehicles with broken or removed silencers or vehicles (like autorickshaws) with inherently high noise level plying at odd hours like past midnight. Remember that distinct sound of an autorickshaw starting with high rev when you have just managed to get some sleep?

- In public transport, people playing music or movies on their mobiles, as if they have the responsibility to entertain the whole bus or train coach.

- Large families booking half or more of train coaches assuming it's a family gathering in their backyard, chit chatting and yelling loudly, no one telling their kids how to behave at a public place, no one trying to contain the unruly nuisance.

- Co passengers in your (private or public) vehicle munching things making weird noises that feel as if targeted at your ears.

Remedies

Of course other than preempting being in as many of above situations as is practicable I personally do these things:

- Have got a layer of additional thick glass windows fitted to my bed room. It's not perfect, but gives at least 60-70 % reduction in the noise levels.

- Ear muffs is the most important accessory that I carry everywhere. It's almost a life line for me - just that it's not possible to sleep with those on and of course not advisable to drive with those on.

- I wish there were devices that restrict the audio to participants in a party, or within the borders of a pandal or so. There could be low powered speakers spread out, instead of centralized giant ones. Or people could use earphones. But I know this is never going to happen. People just don't feel they are celebrating until others, who are not a part of the celebration, are made to take a note of the loudness of their celebration.

[am1m]

Originally Posted by mayuresh

There are many annoying scenarios we face day in day out where telling anyone is like inviting quarrel, so better to develop resilience and learn to live with it:
...
Of course other than preempting being in as many of above situations as is practicable I personally do these things:

The only practical thing to do, very well articulated.

As you have correctly said, trying to tell others to tone it down just escalates things. Several factors, mostly due to a clash in expectations between people who have the luxury of space and solitude (the minority) versus people who have gotten accustomed to crowded spaces, and noise doesn't bother them.

Also, even the best-behaved individuals, when in a large enough group, will tend to disturb others around them who are not a part of the group. This is irrespective of nationality, age, or socioeconomic segment. And culturally as a society and as a part of large families, we tend to do things together almost always, including travelling.

Always going to be awkward to be the only person who is bothered by noise. Better to just find ways to personally deal with it. I've learned that the hard way.

[Miyata]

Originally Posted by Chetan_Rao

We aren't just oblivious or lacking sense. We're often maliciously and intentionally inconsiderate.

Absolutely! This is among the reasons I've reduced traveling by the metro in Bangalore. Age, education, and social standing is no bar on this stupid behavior.

Few months back I was on Indigo and one of the senior / elder looking guy (40+) was nonstop and just too loud about the market and investing with what appeared to be his junior apprentice.

A non-Indian intervened and requested the guy to lower the volume. Instead of complying, the loud mouth chap starts abusing the non-Indian!

[saikishor]

I dont know if this comes under civic sense, but i absolutely hate it when morons SPIT on the road. If it is so uncontrollable please spit on some grass or sand on the side of the road.

[100Kmphormore]

I just returned from a 1000 km trip in just under 32 hours in private sleeper and state transport buses, and dealing with such morons while battling lack of sleep and physical exhaustion, I have to agree most do not. Watching Instagram reels with those ridiculous laughter sounds at full volume even in the early am, suddenly shouting at the top of their voice to another passenger as if he’s a kilometer away, when he’s just in the opposite aisle. Though this happens more with villagers, where pushing around, smashing your belly or standing extremely close to someone with foul odour is the norm - such behaviour is becoming more commonplace especially in metro trains. Being seriously overpopulated is another one of the reasons, besides the above.
This trip would have been on my 390 if not for the financial hit it caused and the group didn’t want to travel in a friends car due to sleeping issues and night driving. The experience would certainly have been much better.

[Simha.k]

I have lost count the number of times when I used to travel in BMTC buses when people used to play songs LOOUUUUDDD on their Chinese mobiles (pre smart phone era). Especially those from labour class of people from other states(no offense to them)

Shrill, loud and meaningless songs played on full volume which nobody else understands. India and Indians can become rich and famous, but will continue to exhibit certain cheap habits that are hard to wash off.
My fellow brethren should learn basic civic sense. I mean it.

Old habits die hard.

[AMG Power]

We’ve got several threads on the lack of civic sense amongst Indians:

1.Totally uncivil behaviour of Indians in public:

https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shift...ns-public.html (Totally uncivil behaviour of Indians in public)

2.Are Indian tourists terrible? Or simply misunderstood?

https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/route...erstood-6.html (Are Indian tourists terrible? Or simply misunderstood?)

3.Elevator manners - General civic sense lacking?

https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shift...lacking-2.html (Elevator manners - General civic sense lacking?)

4. And on reddit: Why do Indians collectively lack civic sense?
https://www.reddit.com/r/IndiaSpeaks...t=2&utm_term=1

[DDIS_RE650]

All network provider should charge for long whatsapp video call, it is very irritating when someone is on live videocall and on speaker in a public place.
Also Rs 10 per selfie, all the good places people block for clicking photos.

[Fuldagap]

Few years back I was at a dinner with people from various countries. Adjacent to me was a person from another south asian country. We were casually chit chatting. It was a big round table with a group of 15 people. After a while a lady from the US couldn't take it anymore and pointed out to us why the two of us were keeping it so loud. We were indeed being loud without realising and it being a dinner we were just chatting away like normal. Not generalising, but Indians and people from around us could be loud without realising it. We need extra efforts to keep it low.

What's indeed true is, speaking in a civilised manner in controlled tones may work abroad but may or may not work back home. Hence the trepidation of speaking in a high volume and make oneself 'loud and clear'. Bad habits die hard!