[iampulo]

Originally Posted by amol4184

Condolences and prayers for you. Dealing with such loss is a life altering process. I lost my dad during Covid and my life will never be same again.

I am going to copy and paste that comment here for better visibility but the original text can be found here. I am not taking credit for this absolutely incredible piece of advice. Its beautiful.

Just reading this comment again has me choking a little.

The reddit post has absolutely been a great metaphor to deal with Life and Grief of Loss. I felt so overwhelmed reading your story and then this reddit post. It feels like despite being unknown, we humans are so vulnerable and so much emotional. Reading them feels like I myself have lost an extended family member. My deep condolences to you. Wish you strength and inspiration.

Originally Posted by Totoro11

This thread appeared at a perfect time for me. My mother passed away few weeks back while i was away for work. Rituals kept us occupied for two weeks but now the absence starts to bite.

My sincere Condolences to you as well. You are correct, when we are busy in our chores, time and memories take a back seat. But it is on those real conscious moments when we have introspect ourselves as simple living beings and not as any Employee, Boss, Manager, Community Lead, etc that we realise you beautiful yet fragile this journey of life is!

Originally Posted by dailydriver

Last year had been a bit tough on me. Lost four close family members and a well wisher at regular intervals. While their departure didn't affect my day to day life, their sudden disappearance created a vacuum that has been rather difficult to fill in.

But every time I go into melancholy thinking about them, I take recourse in the timeless tale of Kiss Gotami's encounter with the Buddha and try to move on.

My sincere condolences to you and wish you strength.
This is really a good philosophical take. I shall adhere to the teachings. Thanks.

Originally Posted by HIGHWAY_PATROL

Just yesterday I was reading the below poem and thought of sharing it here.

Source: Saba Mahjoor's Instagram Post

The last para of our parents waiting for us to sleep, is so emotional, full of pure love. Ached my heart even thinking of it.

Originally Posted by Ganapathy

Adieu

I miss you Mumse!!

.

You really have been a dutiful and worthy child of taking care of your Mom through all phases. I am sure not only us, even other Moms shall envy you of being so caring child. The last phase of her life with you feels like you have "repaid with interest" all the affection and parenting that your Mom did for your upbringing right from when you were born by parenting her back.
I remember a thought, I came across, that during childhood, you cry as your parents bathe you, and during their old age, when you bathe them, both cry.


Going to my confessions, I too feel that I have done great great injustice to my parents. While they are always proud of me as being a good person more than anything else, during the last 4-5 years I have been on constant battle with them + not communicating with them as I feel they are yet to realize their mistake. Its the mistake of judging my girlfriend to be the wrong person.

I might be naive, but as far my rational brain works, I am not wrong in choosing her. She is genuinely a nice person and that I love her is not something to be taken aback. I have chosen her and she has chosen me in our right minds purely on character. But my parents are yet to understand this. I have provided ample opportunity to make the Two meet/ talk, but they are more into "She is influencing you".
Part of this retaliation from mother is also because its the first time in Life I have decided on my own(which shall obviously bear a permanent impact on my life).

Reading above loss stories, I really wonder weather I will get ample opportunity in this life, to share them all care, concern, happiness, love and make them really enjoy their life to the fullest. For I am already with lot of guilt of not sharing with them and missing the last 6+ years of our lives .

[amol4184]

Nothing you love is lost. Not really. Things, people—they always go away, sooner or later. You can’t hold them, any more than you can hold moonlight. But if they’ve touched you, if they’re inside you, then they’re still yours. The only things you ever really have are the ones you hold inside your heart.

-- Bruce Coville.

[rajeevsulu]

I had purchased the Thar on this day last year. I had given the vehicle to 3M for ceramic coating 6 months back and was very happy with the results.
I thought of getting the vehicle washed on it's first anniversary and 3 M gave the vehicle a free top coat application as a birthday gift. It is included in the initial price, of course.
This is how it looks today. 17,200 kms up. This and the Interceptor are what kept me sane.
Cheers

[humyum]

Originally Posted by suavesouvik

Dear humyum

I can barely begin to imagine the difficulties you are going through. Cancer ravages not only the patient but also the caregiver. A suggestion I would like to offer is that you could consult a palliative care physician. The Palliative Care Continuum states that palliative care should run alongside curative treatment. A good palliative physician would address the physical, psychological, spiritual and emotional aspects of pain of both the patient and the caregiver to alleviate suffering.

Here's wishing your mom a speedy recovery and more strength to you.

Regards,
Souvik

Sorry for not replying earlier, thanks. I scrolled through teambhp multiple times but my brain just did not let me reply to anything, it was numb

Originally Posted by rajeevsulu

Bro, my prayers first. As an Oral surgeon myself, I understand the destruction that cancer can do to the body of the patient and the mind of the caregiver. Stay strong, buddy, your mother needs you. I can understand the feeling you are going through. Those five days in the hospital when I knew the inevitable, but, had to remain hopeful, for all the others around me, was the worst phase of my life.
As a surgeon myself, I had to be pragmatic, as a husband, I was struggling, and, as a son in law, I had to put on a brave face.
Stay strong, buddy, I don't know what more to say.

Thank you Rajeev. We will beat this thing down again is what we are aiming for. With treatment, with diet and with will.

Originally Posted by libranof1987

Dear humyum,

I've followed most of your posts, right from the eagerness with which you were looking forward to getting delivery of your Crysta, to planning the first trip with your family in it, your family's happiness when you saw the car in your driveway, your marriage prep and plans to travel across Europe; all these happy things, as well as your mum's diagnosis and treatment.

I've wished for you to be able to get on that long road trip, a nice time in Europe with your then-fiance, now-wife. And prayed for your mum to emerge cancer-free. I'm sure every reader on the forum has.

You've been a strong person to get through the journey so far, and as heartbreaking as the recent news may be, we pray for things to get better soon, and wish you all the physical and mental strength and courage needed to get past this challenge as well. We hope for nothing short of her complete recovery.

Most of us probably don't have anything but words for you, and I hope they help, even if a tiny bit.

Wish your family the very best of luck and health.

Thank you very much. I don't know what to say, I am touched. Yesterday was the first day after months that I got to travel. My mom's 2nd chemo of 2nd cycle is up this week. She seems to be responding well as she is feeling much better, her appetite is up, her Ca125 numbers are coming down and most of all, she is feeling much better.

I wanted to respond to your message earlier but I just could not type anything anywhere, a bit number but getting myself together.

[rajeevsulu]

A small update

It has been 18 months now.I have stressed the importance of my Thar and my Interceptor in my recovery. Other helping factor has been my new hobby which is gardening. Spending a good 90 minutes in the garden every morning is very soothing.

Ideally it should have been very good if all of the above had kept me sane. Alas, they were not enough.

Through these 18 months, there was one other person who played a key role in my recovery. My psychiatrist.

The role of a psychiatrist is very undervalued in our country. The doctor of the mind has to play a role in keeping the mind healthy.

I have been seeing my doctor every month. With my past history of alcohol abuse, I cannot afford a relapse. That would be disastrous. I talk to him for a couple of hours and he knows if I am stable.

I can confidently say now that I am recovering well, will not relapse (that was the biggest worrying factor), may not be the same, happy guy that I was, but, I can contribute to society and lead a useful life.

Cheers