[rajeevsulu]

Originally Posted by aveoman19

P.S. I have attached the picture of my Dear departed Father.
His name: Patinharath Premnath.
Age: 70.

Request you all to pray for his soul.

My heartfelt condolences on your losses, dear friend. May the divine grant you all the strength for you to tide over these overwhelming times. Your father is in a good place now and all our prayers are with him.

[Pagani007]

Heartfelt condolences...hope time heals!!

[jungleroars]

Dears,

My heartfelt condolences to you. The void always remains but time heals. I wish the God would grant you all strength to sail you through this difficult time.

[OffRoadFun]

May you gain strength to overcome this loss over time. I know it is easier said than done.

I have never faced an "untimely" loss of a close one, but my wife lost her father when she was 17. Even today, decades after the loss, she has been unable to overcome that loss. I can only try to understand the enormous loss. After marriage, it took me some time to empathize to be honest. Only those who go through it can understand it fully.

Hope it heals with time still!

[humyum]

Takes immense strength to write something like this and takes even more strength to write it again after 11 months when in your mind all you want to do is move your mind away from this topic.

I will share something which I would never write anywhere, even when thinking of writing it, I am tearing up.

I got married on December 15th last year, my mom was looking forward to this day all her life and was happy as ever. She was smiling even in her sleep as dad used to say after that day.

Jan 20th this year she had diarrhoea and started feeling weak. No symptoms, no signs before that. We had got her tested on November 15th and everything was in order. Next test was on Feb 15th with a PET.

Immediately rushed to meet the doctors, a pet scan was done and it was confirmed my mom is going through her second ovarian cancer recurrence which this time it looks precarious, its in her abdomen, lungs, liver with the biggest lesion being 10 cms in the stomach. We have been 1 year without chemo with a wait and watch until the last scan which was clean with stable 2 lesions for over 9 months when suddenly in Jan everything went out of control in no time. Her chemo's have started and I am hoping for a miracle, I am hoping for a miracle doc who will say I will operate on her after X chemos, I am waiting for that light to shine on us that will bring her back to her original self, I am waiting for the world to just once work with what I want. Everyone is just giving us a silent treatment. Life changed in a fraction, just one month back we were enjoying at the wedding, she was loving spending time with the wife etc and now its all gone downhill.

Weird thoughts come to my head, sometimes I think if only I did not wake up in the morning, I would be out of this torture which goes on in my head of seeing my mom suffer, I am just dead from inside. I don't know how I feel anymore. This threat of cancer has been on our head since 2021 and I have not had one night of peaceful sleep where in I don't think about it.

[Neil Roy]

Originally Posted by rajeevsulu

October 2nd will never be the same again.
May she rest in peace.
They said "Time Heals".
It didn't. It has not even dulled the pain.

That hurts very much just reading. I cant even imagine the pain that you must be feeling. I'm pretty sure that being in the profession that you are, getting medical advice on how to cope with emotional trauma should not be much of a hurdle. That being said, grief is a very powerful emotion. It feeds on many variables. Keanu Reeves nailed it on the head when he was asked about death by Colbert.
“What happens after we die?
Reeves: I know the ones who love us will miss us.”

The questions that you need to ask yourself are
a) Will your better half be happy seeing you suffer like this and
b) If it had been you instead of her, would you have liked her to grieve the way that you are grieving now? That in itself should answer your question. We are more than an automotive forum. We are a family who will be there, if not by words but at least our solidarity. Peace.

[rajeevsulu]

Originally Posted by Neil Roy

That hurts very much just reading. I cant even imagine the pain that you must be feeling. I'm pretty sure that being in the profession that you are, getting medical advice on how to cope with emotional trauma should not be much of a hurdle.

I use the services of my psychiatrist very regularly. I have had 8 visits in the last 15 months. I have had an issue with alcohol in the past. 2017 to be precise. My wife helped me get out of it and my psychiatrist was very particular about this.
It is easy to choose this route, especially, for a past offender, as it "offers" easy escape. I was very much particular that i don't go that way, as that would mean a disservice to myself, my Doctor and my wife who helped me kick the habit.
Tbhp helped me here.
Thanks to all who have showered so much love and care. My prayers for all those who have suffered the loss of close ones. Sharing is caring and sharing is curing too.

[suavesouvik]

Originally Posted by humyum

Weird thoughts come to my head, sometimes I think if only I did not wake up in the morning, I would be out of this torture which goes on in my head of seeing my mom suffer, I am just dead from inside. I don't know how I feel anymore. This threat of cancer has been on our head since 2021 and I have not had one night of peaceful sleep where in I don't think about it.

Dear humyum

I can barely begin to imagine the difficulties you are going through. Cancer ravages not only the patient but also the caregiver. A suggestion I would like to offer is that you could consult a palliative care physician. The Palliative Care Continuum states that palliative care should run alongside curative treatment. A good palliative physician would address the physical, psychological, spiritual and emotional aspects of pain of both the patient and the caregiver to alleviate suffering.

Here's wishing your mom a speedy recovery and more strength to you.

Regards,
Souvik

[NPV]

Originally Posted by rajeevsulu

Tbhp helped me here.
Thanks to all who have showered so much love and care. My prayers for all those who have suffered the loss of close ones. Sharing is caring and sharing is curing too.

Dear Doc, I have been following your thread for a long time and meaning to post, apologies for not doing so earlier.

I must commend you for trying to come to terms with your huge loss. Just a thought, have you tried enrolling for a yoga/meditation program like the ones offered by Art of living or Isha foundation? I have friends and family members who enrolled for Isha’s Inner Engineering program (now available online too) recently and have seen big transformations in their lives.

Note: I have no affiliation or commercial interest in these programs or organisations.

[rajeevsulu]

Originally Posted by humyum

Weird thoughts come to my head, sometimes I think if only I did not wake up in the morning, I would be out of this torture which goes on in my head of seeing my mom suffer, I am just dead from inside. I don't know how I feel anymore. This threat of cancer has been on our head since 2021 and I have not had one night of peaceful sleep where in I don't think about it.

Bro, my prayers first. As an Oral surgeon myself, I understand the destruction that cancer can do to the body of the patient and the mind of the caregiver. Stay strong, buddy, your mother needs you. I can understand the feeling you are going through. Those five days in the hospital when I knew the inevitable, but, had to remain hopeful, for all the others around me, was the worst phase of my life.
As a surgeon myself, I had to be pragmatic, as a husband, I was struggling, and, as a son in law, I had to put on a brave face.
Stay strong, buddy, I don't know what more to say.

[rajeevsulu]

Originally Posted by NPV

I must commend you for trying to come to terms with your huge loss. Just a thought, have you tried enrolling for a yoga/meditation program like the ones offered by Art of living or Isha foundation? I have friends and family members who enrolled for Isha’s Inner Engineering program (now available online too) recently and have seen big transformations in their lives

I have been giving it a thought. Coimbatore is very close to me. I should make a trip, one of these days, and see how it goes.

[RiderS]

Dear Sir,

The pain of loosing a loved one is indescribable as years roll by I am sure it heals your pain and you will move forward. No amount of human words can comfort you but only the Almighty can comfort to during this time of irreparable loss.

[libranof1987]

Originally Posted by humyum

Takes immense strength to write something like this

Dear humyum,

I've followed most of your posts, right from the eagerness with which you were looking forward to getting delivery of your Crysta, to planning the first trip with your family in it, your family's happiness when you saw the car in your driveway, your marriage prep and plans to travel across Europe; all these happy things, as well as your mum's diagnosis and treatment.

I've wished for you to be able to get on that long road trip, a nice time in Europe with your then-fiance, now-wife. And prayed for your mum to emerge cancer-free. I'm sure every reader on the forum has.

You've been a strong person to get through the journey so far, and as heartbreaking as the recent news may be, we pray for things to get better soon, and wish you all the physical and mental strength and courage needed to get past this challenge as well. We hope for nothing short of her complete recovery.

Most of us probably don't have anything but words for you, and I hope they help, even if a tiny bit.

Wish your family the very best of luck and health.

[IP_Man]

Bro, I can feel your pain. I suggest Vipassana course.

https://www.dhamma.org/en/index

[aveoman19]

Originally Posted by rajeevsulu

My heartfelt condolences on your losses, dear friend. May the divine grant you all the strength for you to tide over these overwhelming times. Your father is in a good place now and all our prayers are with him.

Thank you for the prayers Sir