[SN88]

Dear Members,

Greetings. We as a family, alongwith a couple of family friends help some people set up a small business or buy a car for them for Uber/ Ola etc as a form of charity and upliftment. Some have done very well and some are where they started. A person who purchased a 3 wheel commercial rickshaw and started transporting fruits, veggie's has managed to save enough and buy another one. We do this once a year after pooling in some money and then choose who to assist out of the many requests we get. Some wish to buy a car so that they can drive as Uber/ Ola, some wish to start a small food outlet and some wanting to trade in some materials. We do not seek any form of profit and this is simply a form of giving back so that they may do something of their own if they are inclined to but dont have any form of financial capability.

This was started by my dad many years back and gives him immense satisfaction and I would like to continue doing this and include some of my friends as well. However off late we are witnessing some people who have misused funds, not by throwing it away or spending it otherwise, but by being foolish in utlizing the funds. What I mean to say is that since the money came free, without interest or debt, they have not been careful in spending it and simply used up without giving second thoughts and taking extra precautions, which they would have if the money was put in by them.
A person who we bought a car for using as OLA sold it when he had a family emergency without even asking us. He did not even try arranging funds some other way and now is back trying to find what to do with his life.

We have never kept anything on our name as we dont want any hurdles or issues or any running around as we are all very busy with our own work. But I now think that maybe some form of a regulation should be in place. Maybe the money should be debt no matter it may stretch for a longer period of time and it can be interest free. Wont this add responsibility and also perhaps we could help more people once the repayment come in. Eg a person borrows money for a car and he repays it back in say 5 years, we could rotate that money to someone else and so on. But under no circumstances we want to put any form of lender pressure if you know what I mean.

Dad is hesistant and simply says that we should forget about the money and the person can use it as he wills and he will be responsible there after.

What do you guys think? Any better idea's are welcome to make it easier for so many people who are struggling with jobs in this cut throat city.

[GrammarNazi]

My mom ran a primary school & often didn't collect fees from certain parents.

A few years back, one of them returned with her father who worked as a BMTC bus driver all his life, to meet my mom & thank her as the girl was inducted as a fighter pilot at the IAF.

Nobody knows how their kindness & understanding may eventually help the other person.

It'll is also true that certain people lack any form of discretion & basic prudence, forget financial conservatism. They impulsively give in to their whims without regret.

IMO either find a way to co-pay, or forget the money after you donate it. Maybe your dad is right. If they needed to learn a lesson, they would.

Impossible to help people in totality, especially those who've nothing to lose. I used to call this the Alfred Doolittle paradox.

Let us know how you decide to crack it!

[Engine_Roars]

Thank you for being the change.

In my opinion, You should not bear the stress of making people learn to be successful. Your purviewshould end at helping with money, if he/she is not capable enough they will eventually fail no matter how much you try and control. Why add extra stress and burden to your life.

[SN88]

Originally Posted by Engine_Roars

Thank you for being the change.

In my opinion, You should not bear the stress of making people learn to be successful. Your purviewshould end at helping with money, if he/she is not capable enough they will eventually fail no matter how much you try and control. Why add extra stress and burden to your life.

The reason I wanted to help them understand how to use the money, in all honesty is because when I was younger I misused funds because it came in easy. Now when I think of it, I wished someone had hit me on my wrists when I made such immature, impulsive decisions.

You are correct, if we get into this, it is a full time job which none of us have time for.

[Cyborg]

Originally Posted by SN88

What do you guys think? Any better idea's are welcome to make it easier for so many people who are struggling with jobs in this cut throat city.

Extremely thoughtful and uplifting work your family and friends are doing

I feel you should not go into doing any further than what you are already. I am sure you’ll must be thoroughly vetting everyone who you’ll help out with money, it’s more than enough. You are giving these people much more than they can dream of and if they mess it up it’s up to them.

You can take a horse to a drinking spot but you cannot make him drink.

All the best in your endeavour.

Cheers

[MyLife_MyCar]

Originally Posted by SN88

You are correct, if we get into this, it is a full time job which none of us have time for.

You should give it and forget it.
If you go the debt way, then it will bother you because somewhere you will expectation that people will return money. And expectations always hurt.

What you are doing is great. If you can, just continue doing it the same way. Very few people will return you the money even without asking out of their self-esteem. For the rest, just not worth the effort of keeping a tab.

[SN88]

Originally Posted by Cyborg

Extremely thoughtful and uplifting work your family and friends are doing

I feel you should not go into doing any further than what you are already. I am sure you’ll must be thoroughly vetting everyone who you’ll help out with money, it’s more than enough. You are giving these people much more than they can dream of and if they mess it up it’s up to them.

You can take a horse to a drinking spot but you cannot make him drink.

All the best in your endeavour.

Cheers

Thank you for the appreciation. Dad sincerely believes it is no favor that we are doing. He started out from a very humble beginnning and now when he is retiring succesful he has understood and believes that every extra buck which is more than what you need is because somewhere someone lost a penny. I am just trying to help him. He is my hero and hope we can continue doing this

[condor]

A younger team-mate has been doing some small but meaningful work in her own little way. She sets aside a small amount each month in a different account, and uses this to support education of children who cant afford it.

She shared the story how it all started. Soon after getting a job, she had travelled home to her parents place. She came upon the situation where one of their servants was not able to send their kid to school even as much as the kid wanted. As someone who has now found a job, my team-mate was asked to talk some "sense" to the kid .. But a kind of impulsive decision led her to start supporting the kid, who is now continuing the education.

For my team-mate, her husband joined later and today they have a decent corpus for this.

*

Another instance is my old Service Advisor: He supports the education of two kids back in his native. He also keeps in touch with the school so he knows the progress.

*

Hats off to both these people who are doing something meaningful

[dhanushs]

Originally Posted by SN88

What do you guys think? Any better idea's are welcome to make it easier for so many people who are struggling with jobs in this cut throat city.

Hi, I think, your dad is right. The person will or rather should be responsible once you've done your job.

....
Dad is hesistant and simply says that we should forget about the money and the person can use it as he wills and he will be responsible there after.

Also the best you can do is to do some research and make sure the money/help goes into the right hands.

That said, kudos to an extremely thoughtful thing you guys are doing for the society.

[V.Narayan]

Originally Posted by SN88

Greetings. We as a family, alongwith a couple of family friends help some people set up a small business or buy a car for them for Uber/ Ola etc as a form of charity and upliftment. Some have done very well and some are where they started. <--->

First please accept my deepest and most loving compliments to your family and you for this laudable philanthropic work being done in true Bhagwad Gita fashion without expectation. To those of us whom God/Universe/Nature has given a lot we are trustees of that material wealth to be used for those who have not received the same generosity. My best wishes to your family, your father & you and may you continue doing this work for decades.

I think I could help by sharing my experience having gone down an identical path. My family & I started down this road in the mid-1990s in exactly the fashion you have. We discovered to our utter dismay that over half misused the assets, broke them, sold them off and what have you. Quite frustrating. Thereafter we switched to funding the fees and books of the studies of bright enthusiastic but poor children. This involves a 2 or 3 or even 7-year commitments. And because their child is involved the parents especially the mother and the child mind you remain careful of the money being used well. Most of the time the money goes direct to the school/college/polytechnic or in case of books we ask for the receipts. It requires a bit of effort but gets done between my mother, sister & me. We start when the kid is at or around 10 to 12 years of age as by then the child's hunger for education is evident if it is there. In case of two, only two, of dozens who got into IIM-B and NIIMS Bombay, no kidding, we said we'll fund the huge fees provided, once they get a job, they repay the same amount to directly support other deprived children we'll point them to. How that will pan out we don't know as both are doing their MBA course right now. I hope this input is useful. All the very best with your wonderful humanitarian work. May God bless you and your family.

However off late we are witnessing some people who have misused funds, not by throwing it away or spending it otherwise, but by being foolish in utlizing the funds. What I mean to say is that since the money came free, without interest or debt, they have not been careful in spending it and simply used up without giving second thoughts and taking extra precautions, which they would have if the money was put in by them. A person who we bought a car for using as OLA sold it when he had a family emergency without even asking us. He did not even try arranging funds some other way and now is back trying to find what to do with his life.

All,
With regard to poor people just wanted to share my learnings. My second career is in social impact. So, in these last few years I've met & interacted with literally thousands of poor families seeking support for their children. At the cost of some errors and deep embarrassments I have learnt that if we do philanthropy we need to be detached from the poor in a nice sort of way and not get taken in by their bedraggled state or cowering or folded hands. That state is not their natural persona, it is only because of the unfortunate situation they are in. Help them, be kind, be respectful, be empathetic but don't get taken in. Do not assume they are Mr Goody Two Shoes with hearts of gold. Like the rich or the middle class the poor too come in all shapes and sizes where their character, integrity, intentions are concerned and many most, often the males, are irresponsible and shirk taking ownership. So, help but be firm. We cannot afford to help every poor who comes to our door nor is every poor deserving. Like a doctor in a train accident or a war we have to triage.

[Chetan_Rao]

Originally Posted by V.Narayan

... triage.

+1. Personal opinion follows.

While it's critical to have empathy and genuinely care for the cause one spends their limited resources towards ('limited' varies by giver too), it's ultimately unproductive to get tied up too much in the end result of one's charitable endeavours (any endeavours really, if the Gita is to be followed!), or the inevitable 'lost causes' one encounters along the way. Easier said than done, but a lesson learnt the hard way.

Ultimately, one can only control what they give, and help guide with good intentions. What the recipient takes from it is ultimately their responsibility. The giver should learn their lessons too, reevaluate and redirect their limited resources where they're likely to be more effective, instead of getting disillusioned by 'lost causes' and stop giving altogether. That would be a travesty. There are plenty who can genuinely use a leg up, and are eternally grateful for it.

[Cyborg]

Originally Posted by SN88

He is my hero and hope we can continue doing this

SN88, so happy and heartwarming to hear about a son who loves, looks up to and cares to carry on his fathers legacy. My daddy strongest

Originally Posted by V.Narayan

So, help but be firm. We cannot afford to help every poor who comes to our door nor is every poor deserving. Like a doctor in a train accident or a war we have to triage.

Dear Mr. Narayan, you Sir, have hit the nail right on the head. Thank you for sharing your life experiences.

Human nature and its variety is the same whether it’s the rich or poor. People exist on both sides who will easily bite the hand that feeds feeling no gratitude. It all boils down to the intrinsic character of each individual.

Cheers

[dailydriver]

The gist of what most respected members have posted above, has very succinctly been encapsulated in these immortal words, long long back.

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥

Karmanye vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana,
Ma Karmaphalaheturbhurma Te Sangostvakarmani

Meaning that,

You have the right to work only but never to its fruits.

Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction.

Your father, a wise man, knows that all seeds sown will not sprout uniformly.

He is right.

* * *

Kudos to the idea of setting aside a part of your hard earned money for the benefit of the society. My sincere salutes to the entire family .

[kavensri]

This is very close to the work that I have been doing since last 10+ years. I started helping couple of my childhood friends who could not land a decent job. So, I started helping him by giving the money every month to manage his monthly expenses. Now, I have stretched this to many causes. I help the people in my close circle (relatives and friends) only. Most of my help is to fund the tution fee for school/college. But I have also helped people to buy a house, plot, to clear the existing loan. I have also seen few of them not managing my money wisely. But I think that it is their loss if they don’t manage it properly.
Few of them have returned my money back when they got the job, but I never go and ask for the money. I am okay even if they never return my money.

[blackwasp]

Originally Posted by SN88

We as a family, alongwith a couple of family friends help some people set up a small business or buy a car for them for Uber/ Ola etc as a form of charity and upliftment.

First of all please accept my kudos for thinking about someone else who's in a hardship and working to make their lives easier. Regards to Ola / Uber thing, I can add 2 cents since I run a fleet of cars based in Mumbai. The work is hard and at many times giving away a car is not a good idea unless you are employing the drivers. You need to monitor that they do the work properly.

What do you guys think? Any better idea's are welcome to make it easier for so many people who are struggling with jobs in this cut throat city.

I think the best way here is education. My dad has told me to pay a certain sum towards the educational needs to my drivers. If I'm little short, my dad pitches in. By empowering the children and wives of the drivers, they will have a better future.