[RiderZone]

Delhi: In a shock move that has left the auto-industry scrambling for explanations, the Ministry of Transport today announced the only cars that have been crash tested by India-NCAP will be allowed to be sold in the country.

This move comes at the heels of the ministry announcing that only motorcycle helmets certified by BIS can be imported and sold by retailers, and that all helmets must have an ISI sticker to be deemed legal.



In a press conference today morning, the Transport Minister had this to say:

“As the pandemic has clearly proven, we care deeply about the safety and well-being of our fellow countrymen. These foreign Global-NCAP people have done a great job in creating extremely reliable safety standards through their crash tests, but what do they know about the Indian road conditions?

Just like we’ve mandated that all helmets sold in India must be ISI certified, we’ll now force manufacturers to crash test their cars with our new India-NCAP. It is completely irrelevant that the foreign certification organizations have far more money, experience, and competence than our local ones ever will, what matters most is that I’m a big boy and only what I say is good will sell.

Our India-NCAP tests will include special scenarios relevant to the crashes we see everyday:

• A 70 kph, 45 degree impact into the rear of a bullock cart which is so overloaded that neither man nor animal is visible
• A 120 kph highway test where you suddenly find yourself flying over the top of an unmarked speedbreaker and flip end to end
• A 30 kph city test where an auto driver suddenly swerves left in front of you to pick up a passenger on the footpath and then yells at you when the auto rolls over
• A 70 kph crash straight into a stationary goat where the driver maintains full eye contact with the animal to the very end
• A 100 kph test where your front left wheel goes into a deep pothole and divorces your car mid-drive
• A 60 kph test when a VVIP cavalcade of Fortuners crashes into you while overtaking an ambulance at twice the speed limit from the wrong side

Once a car is crash tested, we will give it an appropriate rating to show how safe it is:

• One mirchi - Bad
• Three mirchi - Good
• Five mirchi and a nimbu - Best

This is the same reason why we’ve banned helmets that are certified by the American DOT, and European ECE organizations. Sure these 50,000 Rupee lids from Arai, Shoei, and AGV are used by MotoGP riders, and represent the highest level of safety that is available right now, but they are completely missing the one thing that represents true protection, an ISI sticker.”

The head of the newly created India-NCAP also provided a small statement:

“This is a great day for the safety of our road users. India-NCAP will reduce the number of deaths and injuries in this country dramatically, I can assure you that. I am also mindful of the concerns of the industry that this additional and unnecessary crash test will increase their input costs, but I’m sure that won’t happen at all.

Most foreign testing organizations depend on carefully controlled crashes in expensive indoor labs to provide their ratings, we don’t believe that’s the correct way, because it doesn’t replicate real life situations. Our testing methodology will be very simple, the test drivers will be allowed to go full speed on the nearest highway until they crash. Then we’ll see if the guy survived, what injuries he has if he did, and rate the car accordingly.

This is by far the best way to crash test, better than how BIS tests helmets for sure. All they do is ask a pillion to put the helmet around his / her arm as he / she rides pillion with her partner, and if it's comfortable enough while the pillion holds a shopping bag in the other hand and whispers sweet things into the rider's ear, they give it an ISI sticker.”

[GTO]

you got a way with the keyboard, man!

Thread moved from the Assembly Line to Shifting Gears. Thanks for sharing!

[mvadg]

I don't think everyone caught that! It's the ISI teeka that repels bad fortune - made from a fine blend of blessings of every God, you will be protected until your token number is called, and then you will be on the VIP lane with minimum delay. This is why we don't need to test our helmets like the rest of the world, it's not about fighting the almighty, it about being in peace with our place in the universe.

Note: You can make your own ISI sticker, and it will confer you the same privileges. The universe does not discriminate, it is the thoughts that count

[moralfibre]

Ahahhahahahaha. You've got us rolling on the floor with your sattire marked with a definitive angst against government's ISI order.

[Amrik Singh]

If crash test is conducted by smashing Car in Concrete block or Wall, it will be a Competition between Cement Producer and Car manufacturer.
If Car survives and is declared Winner, cement company will be shutting down. The real culprit, the Contractor responsible for constucting the concrete block will be black listed and allowed to float another company.

[abhishek46]

Can someone explain, what is stopping the manufacturers of Dot certified Helmets etc. from applying for the ISI certification?

As an analogy, Importers of foreign food products are already applying for FSSAI license.

Coming to crash testing,
It will be a really good move, if all the vehicles sold in India, are mandatorily tested in India by BNVSAP at the NATRIP/ICAT in-house crash test facility (which is already functional) & results should be published.
Every major market does this already.
It's high time, this is implemented in India itself, rather than wait endlessly for other people to test the vehicle.

By the way, the crash testing protocols defined by ARAI for the BNVSAP include tests like:

• Frontal offset testing (64 km/h proposed)
• Side impact testing
• Pedestrian protection testing
• Rear impact testing
• Child dummy dynamic crash testing

More details of the facility:
https://icat.in/testlabs/passive-safety-lab

[shashank.nk]

Don't give them ideas man! This govt loves to ban things without rhyme or reason...tyres last year helmets this year what if next year they do come up with this testing body and our 5 star-rated cars are deemed unsafe unless tested by them

[ruzbehxyz]

Originally Posted by RiderZone

In a shock move that has left the auto-industry scrambling for explanations, the Ministry of Transport today announced the only cars that have been crash tested by India-NCAP will be allowed to be sold in the country.

This is one of the biggest jokes I have read on this forum.

This is what happens when oversmart people who have the power, think that only they are right.

The Auto Industry and the Auto rules is in a very sad state in India and needs a complete makeover. In 2021, what choice of cars we have ? And on top of that such rules which absolutely make no sense.

[arvind71181]

Great post. Its a sad state though that we have to state explicitly that a satirical post is a satirical post, lest some folks get offended

[srini1785]

It comes as no big surprise as the cost of a life in India is much lower than that of..eh..anywhere.

Sample this : A Euro crash test costs $100,000 Plus the cost of Crash test dummies that cost $125,000 each and not to forget the certification is valid only as long as there are no structural changes and for minor upgrades.

See: https://www.autoblog.com/2007/10/19/...sh-tests-work/

While the Indian ones cost around INR 1500000 ($15-20000) and we are the crash test dummies. So no additional cost incurred by the company.

See: https://auto.economictimes.indiatime...-2026/64396015.

So, its a no brainer what the Hon.Minister (lets not forget the adjectives as social media laws are in force) is saying.

[sam264_2000]

Fantastic!! I did not read the word "Satirical" in the beginning and after reading, I was like "What?? Is this really happening??"

This should go on "The Onion".

[Turbolove]

Thanks for the morning laugh, the VVIP cavalcade got me rolling!!

[RoverX]

What a fun way to start the day!! Thank you for some much-needed laughs, RiderZone!
What's next? Perhaps the need for stronger hoods so that the ceremonial coconut-breaking can be done on the bonnet itself?

[Tgo]

Originally Posted by abhishek46

Can someone explain, what is stopping the manufacturers of Dot certified Helmets etc. from applying for the ISI certification?

It would be illegal.

If I am correct, there is a royalty imposed by ISI to the tune of 2-3 rupees per unit sold which bears their mark.

It is like a nominal fee they charge for going through the process of testing the products that the manufacturer wants to sell with ISI mark.

[VKumar]

Initially I missed the pun, but when the testing conditions were presented, I went back to reread. Awesome start of the day, thanks mate.

Originally Posted by RiderZone

I am also mindful of the concerns of the industry that this additional and unnecessary crash test will increase their input costs, but I’m sure that won’t happen at all.

Most foreign testing organizations depend on carefully controlled crashes in expensive indoor labs to provide their ratings, we don’t believe that’s the correct way, because it doesn’t replicate real life situations.

Words of Wisdom by Mr. R. C. Bhargav!

Just put him in the helm of India-NCAP and see how all these situations and statements may come true.