[JojyKerala]

Originally Posted by alpha1

Don't know about the scene in Indian schools and colleges these days but I can't recall major incidents in my school or college (not just for me but anyone else also) that can be labelled as bullying or ganging up and picking on someone.

Bullying or "ragging" is still an issue today like it was when I was in college more than 20 years ago.

Only last year, our Government came up with new rules to curb ragging:
https://theprint.in/india/education/...lleges/268080/

Physical & mental hell for me and my batchmates
I've experienced high levels of bullying in college. It mostly involves a lot of beating and getting shouted at. The shouting and tasks are okay but the beatings can get quite severe.

Ragging at my college only stopped after one of my batchmates committed suicide (jumping from the terrace of our college building). This happened after college hours. I saw him hit the ground. He wasn't dead - he kept asking for help but the Manager forbid anybody from going near . The seniors were given a sound thrashing by his relatives after the suicide.

Here is a detailed look at how ragging works (I'm referring to hostel students of professional colleges (engineering, medical) where severe forms of ragging takes place):

Step 1: Let's say a new student from Kerala joins a college in Bangalore. He will be approached by seniors from Kerala and they will get acquainted.

Step 2: The junior will be provided with a list of houses where Kerala seniors reside. They will have to go these houses in batches. These houses are where the ragging takes place. For example, I had to visit one house every day and get beaten up if I don't perform tasks. If I skip a house, I get a punishment so nobody skips a house.

Step 3: The ragging goes on for a year. We have to keep a track of the beatings we receive. The more beatings you receive, the more power you wield as a senior doing ragging next year!

Step 4: 1 year passes and you'r ready to rag your juniors. In my case, my friend committed suicide and ragging was completely banned.

Note 1:
Ragging is usually done of students who are away from their home state. The students who rag are seniors from the same state who stay in hostels or rental accommodations.

Note 2:
Forms of ragging vary from college to college. It's become more strict now but ragging takes place behind closed doors. It won't be visible to day scholars - it's the students away from home who suffer the most.

Originally Posted by alpha1

Watching the English shows gives me an impression that bullying is
surreptitiously encouraged in the western society (to make an adult out of you or as a way of social dominance).

The reason given while we were being ragged is exactly the same - to make us adults. Unfortunately, the beatings and abuse I received took a toll on my mind and health. I took 6 years to complete a 4 year course.

I would give anything to go back in time and undo the mental scars that I have accumulated during those ragging/bullying years.

[roby_dk]

Another case of suicide where a 16 year old lost her life. Not sure if this is another case of depression as she was doing good and did not show any signs of depression.

At a time when the nation has still not come to terms with Sushant Singh Rajput's death, a shocking case of 16-year-old TikTok star SIya Kakkar has shocked everyone. The social media sensation committed suicide on June 25 at her residence in Delhi. The reason behind her death is still unknown and, as per the latest reports, the police investigation is underway.

The tragic news has made her fans extremely sad and, condolences are pouring in across social media. "16 Year Old Tik Tok Star Siya Kakkar Commits Suicide.She had all the fame, over 1M followers on Tik Tok, a lakh followers on Insta. I just can't understand what is happening with people? Why would a 16 year old commit suicide? It is getting worse day by day. Om Shanti", wrote a Twitter user.

Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.ind...twitter-629167

[akshay_ritz]

There are a few books that really helped me when I was diagnosed with depression. The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler is amazing. The Tibetian Book of Living and Dying was also incredible. You can read anything by Mattieu Ricard. When All is Not Well by OM Swami is also a fantastic book.

[PrasannaDhana]

Well, a lot of good pointers here.

I have been into it and out of it. I don't want to delve deeper into details. But I will just outline what helps most of the depressed people

1. Accept the fragility of life. Take it easy. No loss is a loss until life is lost.

2. Never compare. There is always gonna be someone richer, wiser, stronger, more attractive, more popular and more successful.

3. Fail often, fail forward. Don't shun failure. It's how you grow.

4. Don't give a crap about the opinion of others about you and your life. Yes, even those from your family. 99% of the cases, no one really thinks about you or the way you live. Live your life the way you see fit.

5. Be debt-free. Minimalism and simple living is awesome.

6. Let go of things that aren't meant to you.

7. Be grateful. Life is not a right, it's a gift. Try helping out people who are unfortunate.

8. Get physically active and eat healthy (Fast regularly). Physical exercise produces the same positive effects as pharmaceutical antidepressants do.

9. Be mindful.

10. You dont need much to live happily. You will only need a lot when you are trying to attempt to impress others. Sadly, no one actually will focus on how you live. It's a farce.

11. Don't take things personally. Praise or criticism, it doesn't matter and not all that your hear are true. Someone hurts you? Forgive and move away. Proving someone wrong is a bloody waste of time.

12. Don't chase anything in life. Chasing wealth and trying to climb the social hierarchy is pointless. Doesn't mean you should not have goals, but hey, have S.M.A.R.T meaningful goals. Happiness is the anchor. Anything that takes it away is too expensive for you to afford.

But no particular set of rules/remedy can fit you. You need to go through it. Suffering is personal. And it's through suffering we learn to appreciate little things in life.

Whatever happens, and how bad your situation maybe, things will change for the better. Hope is powerful.

[Added_flavor]

My sister is a to-be psychiatrist pursuing her MD in Psychiatry at NIMHANS, Bangalore. I sent her a link to this thread and she volunteered to make a post here. The below words are verbatim.

Hello everyone. I read through most of the posts in this thread. I want to present my view on this. Warning: It's a long post, beware.

I have a double advantage since,

A. I'm a soon-to-be practicing psychiatrist (I'm waiting for the results of my MD exam so wish me luck)

B. I've had depression (the clinical type) myself for the past 7-8 years at least. It’s likely that many of you might not have even thought of a psychiatrist having a mental illness, but depression is as common as 1 out of 20 people, and psychiatrists or any other mental health professionals are human too (unlike the money-mongering, commission - minded corrupt beings certain people here have concluded. )

Disclaimer: I’ve written as my thoughts have flown, and so keep oscillating between my experience as an individual with depression, and as a doctor who has treated patients with depression. I hope the narrative doesn’t obscure the points I’m trying to put across.


So, I saw predominantly 4 kinds of posts here.
1. People for Psychiatry
2. People against Psychiatry
3. People who have undergone depression
4. People who've seen people with depression first-hand

I agree partially with people of both categories 1 and 2 (I know it's ironic since I'm going to be a psychiatrist that I agree with people who are against it). Psychiatry itself, is a young branch of medicine that is still evolving, taking its infant steps compared to other medical/surgical branches. We don't have tests to see what exactly is wrong, and we make diagnoses based on a set of symptoms that are extremely subjective and hence diagnoses change based on what our patients tell us along with what we can objectively see ourselves.

In fact, there's a whole movement "Anti Psychiatry" with many people, including some psychiatrists, believe psychiatry and mental "illnesses" are a myth. Famous names in this field are Rosenhan (read about the "thud" experiment), and Thomas Szasz.

On the other hand are young idealistic people like myself, who joined the field in order to research more about the human brain of which so little is known about, and more importantly, to help people going through mental difficulties (whether you name them illnesses or not) overcome these. I honestly, truly believe that psychiatry overall is a very upcoming, beneficial concept, and I've seen in my very short experience of 3 years, of how much both psychological as well as medical (i.e. medication) interventions can help. So, anti-psychiatry aside, I am a staunch believer in both the biological as well as psychological aspects of psychiatry, and I believe each person deserves interventions in both aspects. However, like someone else pointed out, the reality is different from utopia, and there’s hardly enough number of mental health professionals. In fact, in India, the ratio is as low as 0.3 psychiatrists per 1 lakh population. In this scenario, the time given to each patient and quality of care reduces considerably, and “a pill for an ill” becomes an unfortunate norm. Misconceptions and stigma related to mental health prevent people from taking psychological support, and the majority of us Indians still believe a doctor has wasted their consultation fees unless he/she gives medicines and not just ‘advice’. On top of this, poor training for medical students and psychiatrists themselves leads to a lack of holistic care. I genuinely hope all this improves as awareness about the importance of mental health improves.

Coming to depression per se, people have rightly pointed out that there are various types. The "garden variety" used colloquially when life upsets us, and the much more concerning clinical depression, better referred to as Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) are the most spoken about. MDD is a completely different ballgame.

The psychiatrists, psychologists, and others have enumerated the symptoms, but in all honesty, MDD goes much much beyond a simple list of symptoms. Of course, those are the basic necessities needed for a diagnosis, but what I went through felt like hell. And I've had 7-8 'episodes' so far. Each worse than the last. Apart from the list, there's a lot of self-destructiveness, a variety of hateful thoughts and images directed towards yourself, the world, your loved ones, and everything actually. Every little thing is a task, a chore and there's absolutely no energy or motivation or interest to do anything. There are either too many thoughts, or too few, too many emotions, or nothing. There's barely any in-between. The intensities of the thoughts and emotions are simply overwhelming. There's actually barely anything family or friends, even the ones with the best intentions, best empathy, and best everything can do during the acute depression. They can physically, emotionally, be present, but the advice and logic and solutions simply don't work.

However, this is again a personal perspective. I've seen people for whom these things worked. Even in the absence of drugs. And some in whom nothing except medical intervention worked. This is also a reason why Psychiatry is all about Nature vs. Nurture, and each person is a complex amalgam of all of these factors - genetic, hormonal, biochemical, immune, psychological, environmental, and social. Every person with depression is like a tweaked basic Android OS - they may be an MIUI, an Oxygen OS, etc.; the basic components for depression are the same, but each person with depression presents and needs to be managed differently.

Personally, I progressed from – believing it was all my fault, thinking something might be wrong, not wanting help or treatment of any kind because I felt it was ‘weak’, to finally talking to family about it and seeking professional help. I seemed to have found the right combination of 'psychiatrist' and 'therapist' for myself (no, I don’t treat myself ) and it might be my naivety, but I hope and believe the same will hold good for a majority of people with MDD.

All in all, there are way too many questions and uncertainties with Psychiatry and mental illnesses. Who gets them? Why? Why not these, these or these people? Who gets better and who doesn't? Who commits suicide and who doesn't? Who can be treated, and in whom can we prevent the illness from occurring altogether? I'd like to end by saying only this - finding answers may take time, but let's do whatever works, in the meantime. Be it medicines, Yoga, meditation, exercise, psychological help, family and friends' love, and support, have hobbies or interests, or that particular flavour of ice cream of that particular brand.

[NiInJa]

I am going to write a story which was sort of a personal secret all these years until last week when I told my wife about it (We were discussing Sushant Singh Rajput's suicide). I am not sure if it was depression but maybe experts can tell what that was.

It was back in 2005 when I was waiting for my 12th standard (Higher secondary certificate) results. I had always been a bright student in school (as per 'them') upto 10th standard but then puberty started and some things started getting interesting. I was not the brightest one around in 12th. Like all students, I too had a fair idea how much marks I was going to score in each subject. So I was not too worried about it. I was quite sure I would get somewhere around 90% aggregate in Physics, Chemistry and Maths combined. With a lot of confidence I walked up to our principal, he congratulated me with a not-so-big smile which he was giving for others. I saw the mark sheet and I just kept staring at it for a few minutes. I had scored just 65 out of 100 in Maths ! And that had reduced my aggregate to an exact 80%

My Dad was waiting outside, I told him how much I had got, he said OK and we drove home. Just like me, he too was in utter disbelief. Then we told this to my mom, my brother and then my friends and relatives. Everybody had just one question: How did he mess up so badly ? I told my mom and dad that I was confident of getting 95/100 in maths as I knew I had screwed up just one question of 5 marks. The next day we went to the HSC board office and submitted a form for revaluation of Mathematics answer sheet.

The fun starts from here.
We were too skeptical about the revaluation's outcome as you know, our general lack of trust in government agencies. My parents felt that it would yeild nothing and I overheard mother saying that 'he might have actually got 65'. To make matters worse, I fared average in the CET (Common entrance exam). So my chances of getting into a good engineering college seemed bleak as Mathematics' marks are considered first if CET score for eligible students clashed - which was the case most of the time. Luckily, I managed to get a seat in a good college. So between the time I joined college and awaited my revaluation results, I was at home alone. One fine evening I took off on my Activa and rode it at a very high speed, not caring how I was going to end up, almost with the intention to -ahem- kill myself in the process. I arrived at an intersection at a very high speed and saw a couple on bike right ahead. They had a kid placed in between. I squeezed the brakes real hard and my scooter skidded narrowly missing their bike. Fortunately, I did not fall and managed to hold the scooter pretty well. Call it divine intervention or just some excellent scooter handling skills, not a scratch on me or the vehicle ! I came back home, telling myself what an a** I was to do something as stupid as this. I never told this incident to anyone. Not even my closest friends or even my wife after marrying for 5 years ! I don't think I will share this with anyone in-person.

Recently, I have tried to analyse my behaviour on that particular day, blame it on watching Netflix : Mindhunters and the Manhunt:Unabomber. I dig such psycho series a lot. Hope writing it down will help shed some more light.

I am an introvert by nature and constantly do a lot of self evaluation, be it some office work or even a simple task of making tea or an omlette. I will just throw it off if I don't make it properly or it will just set my mood off. Mind you, others making such 'mistakes' does not have any effect on me, in fact, I tend to be more sympathetic towards them. Over the years I had become more risk averse. I dreaded taking exams or tests, not that I flunk in it, but going through the process and then the fear of screwing up would give me jitters sometimes. At one point, I used to take every task as a test, I can either pass or fail in it. And the thought of failing would make me nervous, and if really failed that would trigger suicidal thoughts. My engineering phase was a roller coaster ride of emotions. Thankfully, I started overcoming it after meeting my girl-friend whom I eventually married. My wife has helped me a lot in this aspect and I no longer have those suicidal thoughts.

From my self-analysis, I can say that this behaviour has a lot to do with my up-bringing. I grew up in a middle class family and my grand fathers and grand mothers used to tell stories about how I was a premature baby and my mom literally brought me back from the dead. I was underweight and the docs said I would not survive if not taken proper care. Hearing such stories at a tender age makes you love or almost worship your mom. But my mom is a perfectionist. She would beat both of us to a pulp even if we scored above average in school. Most of the times I would be corrected for small things (She does that even today when I am 33, I drank cold juice at night and she yelled at me ). She was right in doing so as she wanted us to become more capable individuals. But apparently, that backfired as I worship her, so if she says I have done something wrong, it really means a lot to me and that would hurt me and make me very sad. My brother was 'shameless' in my books and somehow managed to get out of it, but not me. This meant I did each task with lot of care as I didn't want to disappoint God i.e. my Mom. I don't have that sort of reverence for her at this stage of life (of-course I love and respect her) but somehow that has become a part of my nature and like I said earlier, imperfection of any sort triggers me sub-consciously. I do have 'issues' with my mom but that topic would be for another day.

Coming back to that day, I was already pretty upset about the fact that I had disappointed my parents, mom in particular. Mind you, I was confident that there was something wrong in the marksheet initally, but as my mom believed that 65 was the correct number, I too started believing it. I was thinking about how to mitigate the damage or how to tell her that I too feel bad for scoring so badly. Probably punishing myself by inflicting physical pain ? But I did not discuss this with anyone. What were my friends doing ? We had moved to a new place at the start of my 12th and all of my close friends in my colony suddenly were too far. I did not have a cell phone, nor did any of friends back in those days. No girl-friend either. Parents were already looking at me with doubts in their eyes. So what do I do ? Lets just go for a ride without wearing a helmet and whack that scooter carelessly and see what happens. It appeared like a simple solution till I saw that couple with a kid on that bike. Damn. I have fallen off bikes quite a few times but that evening, it was someone telling me 'today is not your day'.

A month later, I joined engineering college and two weeks later, I was in my college's admin department handing over the corrected 12th marksheet along with a letter from HSC Board which basically summarised: It was a printing mistake, the '9' got printed as '6' so it actually was 95/100 in Maths. My relatives were relieved. My vindication was of no use as the admission process was over and switching colleges was not a possibility.

Some things I have noted from my experience:
- Guilt is a bad feeling when it comes for wrong or trivial reasons, for sensitive people, it will eat them from inside like anything and can trigger some spontaneous thoughts which can cause irreparable damage.
- It never happened that my parents were vocal about their love and trust in me, I had to ask them if they did (literally force it out of them after this mark-sheet fiasco). Some might say its cheesy but again, being vocal from time to time helps for some people.
- Having some one to confide in or talk to freely is a life saver. And by that, I dont mean to say someone who would just hold your hand and say everything will be fine. He/she must be able to dive deep into your mind, find reasons, give solutions and -if need be- curse you or slap you hard on your face if you think of something bad. I cant really put it in words, but you will get the drift.

[iron.head]

Hi Folks,

Haven't gone through the entire thread but can share from personal experience that depression/anxiety is also just a disease like any other. As a consequence of the pandemic, I am getting treated from one of the best doctors in Bengaluru over audio/video consulting.

The treatments really work given one has the motivation and belief in getting better and in the fact that the problem at hand can be fixed. I am sure this must have been reiterated several times in this thread and elsewhere.

My doctor is using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy along with some other techniques and at least in my case medication is not required.

With the needed self belief, trust in the doctor, and in the science behind the treatments these psychological issues can largely be resolved for most people.

Cheers!

[v1p3r]

Been there, done that. Beat it (or at least got out then) with professional help. Learnt a whole bunch of things. Still, the battle rages every day.

Some learnings -
If you have Depression (thank you V.Narayan!), you will need professional help. It's like having cancer or kidney stones - no amount of familial love and positive thinking will take the illness away. Cannot seriously believe that educated people believe otherwise. But then again, there are educated people who believe the earth is flat and that Obama is an alien.

The illness is caused and exacerbated by many factors. One factor, as someone pointed out, is that it is very likely to be hereditary. I have traced various levels of mental disorders through multiple generations of my family. All of them occur in highly functional, physically fit, academically and professionally successful individuals.

Dealing with it is very very difficult. I have a loving family that believed that I was just in need of some cheering up. Luckily, I could personally afford professional help. It is also very difficult for near and dear ones who empathise, to deal with it. Rahul_jo has posted about that in some detail. Jeroen has also described his experiences, personally and as a close observer, in stark (yet familiar) detail.

Don't let the nay-sayers get to you. To most people, Depression is 'not even a real disease', just a Western invention. Just because you don't understand illnesses doesn't mean you have a free pass to denigrate suffering. I don't go around punching people who have a toothache just because I can't see their cavities.

What's interesting is that the people who have first-hand (or near) experience will empathise and say things like 'please PM me if you feel I can help' and those who have no real horse in the race will engage in endless debate.

[Asish_VK]

Nice thread and apt timing.

I never knew the seriousness of 'depression'
Always thout it's more like a 'lifestyle' mental state which occurs for people in movies , just to show the drama and all, untill it started to occur to me.

When the lockdown started, I got stationed in Bangalore where I work. I used to stay near work place with my wife and daughter. From last year, since we had our second baby, my wife and daughter were at my native place in Kerala.

I used to travel every Friday by train and return on Monday morning to Bangalore. Even before lockdown, I didn't go to meet them for 2-3 weeks to avoid travelling in trains for the fear of the pandemic (small baby at home)

Just 2 days before the lockdown, my project got closed and I was not having any work to do WFH too.

The feeling of missing my family and boredom of doing nothing along with staying alone in a house slowly started to affect my mental state . Slowly I deviated from my routines and it affected my phycal and mental state . For initial days it was ok but as the lockdown keep on extending and not able to see the family made it worse.

Finally when the gates opens for interstate travel, I took a pass and ride my bike all the way to Kerala (600+ kms). I was so relieved to finally reach home . I am feeling great now as I have joined with my kids and family (after quarantine), and have peace of mind (except the work (or lack of it) related tensions.

I don't know what to comment on medication vs social life for treating depression, I can surely say Social life is kind of prevention against depression.

[dragracer567]

Originally Posted by alpha1

Is the bullying phenomena as prevalent as they show on the English movie and TV shows?

Don't know about the scene in Indian schools and colleges these days but I can't recall major incidents in my school or college (not just for me but anyone else also) that can be labelled as bullying or ganging up and picking on someone.

Watching the English shows gives me an impression that bullying is surreptitiously encouraged in the western society (to make an adult out of you or as a way of social dominance).

Is this correct?

I would go out of my way and say that bullying is much more of a problem in India than in the west. Its just that western cinema highlights it much better than Indian cinema where the ones who are bullied are portrayed as 'losers' or 'snobs'. An example would be 'silencer' in 3 idiots. Such a character in western cinema would be never be as ridiculed as in bollywood.

I've attended schooling in both the Gulf and a short 6 month stint in India, and for University, I did my Bachelors in Delhi-NCR and Masters in Belgium. So, I think I can say a thing or two about this - I've NEVER been bullied anywhere as much I was bullied in India. Macho culture is much more predominant and me being a relatively meek guy was constantly called names at and left out by the so called 'macho guys'. The funny part is, they claimed they were making me more street smart and more Indian (since I was a NRI) by bullying me. I offcourse, built my support system of friends who helped me cope during my university in Delhi, so it didn't become as much of a problem but my 6 month school stint in India (I was 14 approx) was absolute hell - I never made any friends and I was constantly laughed at and bullied.

In western society, they actually talk about bullying while in India, bullying is considered natural. That's the difference.

PS sorry for diverging from the main topic of depression.

Originally Posted by Jeroen

I would say that in general most people would disapprove of bullying. Schools these days tend to have special bullying protocols. But it can be difficult to pick up. It is very often hidden. Also, some, to your point, will see it as normal part of growing up.

Jeroen

This is exactly the problem in India. Schools don't even acknowledge bullying. At times, the teachers themselves are actively involved in bullying. Schools are much more bothered about your uniform or if your shoes are polished

Colleges have taken steps against so called the 'Ragging' though.

[Raghav96]

Probably off topic post.

How do you guys meditate? I Know I can search it on google but i trust team-bhp more than random google reviews.

My maths teacher once told me to close your eyes and imagine yellow colour. I dont know the logic but it helped me in concentrating in studies.

Suggestions are welcome.

Thanks.

[kiranknair]

Fantastic thread.. Thanks to the moderators for approving this thread - Hope this doesn't get closed abruptly. Always thought about this after Sushant Singh suicide. Got a lot of valuable information from our members with regards to depression. One question is should you visit a psychiatrist or a psychologist first? What is the difference? Suppose, I am suffering from mood swings, OCD or similar things - who is the first point of contact. Can some knowledgeable folks pls shed some light into this?

[Red Liner]

Originally Posted by kiranknair

Fantastic thread.. Thanks to the moderators for approving this thread - Hope this doesn't get closed abruptly. Always thought about this after Sushant Singh suicide. Got a lot of valuable information from our members with regards to depression. One question is should you visit a psychiatrist or a psychologist first? What is the difference? Suppose, I am suffering from mood swings, OCD or similar things - who is the first point of contact. Can some knowledgeable folks pls shed some light into this?

Clinical psychiatrist first. Then a psychologist for long term counselling. Clinical psychiatrist is allowed to prescribe medicines. You might be advised to check your hormonal levels along with vitamin deficiencies.

[libranof1987]

Originally Posted by kiranknair

What is the difference?

The three types of professionals (counseling psychologist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist) and the areas of expertise and scope mentioned in my post earlier.

https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shift...ml#post4831489 (The Depression Thread: Let's openly talk about this elephant in the room)

[Aakash]

I have noticed a lot of members in the forum talk about their assumptions, reasoning and conclusions on why a person is depressed. Nothing angers me more than the opinions which are more or less based on information borrowed off the internet. I have read all the posts (till now) and have only found few genuine responses which makes me want to applaud their courage to open up. The only people I trust to speak about depression are doctors and people who have genuinely went through this. And people arguing about what exactly depression is, is a plain waste of time and it just deviates the thread from actually providing some useful information. This behaviour of the forum members would only discourage people who are willing to speak up. If you don't know what it is, please do not speak or debate about it without knowing the seriousness of the issue. You'll just be spam posting and provide no actual value.

Let me tell a story of a friend I have who was battling clinical depression.

She was just a person who I met through a mutual friend in college and we just clicked. Conversations became long and as time passed she was comfortable enough to share her experiences. The thing which most people were curious about her were numerous cut marks on her arms. I knew she was going through a bad phase until she opened up. The things she went through were way past the understanding of my mind but slowly I started to understand what she felt and why she was contemplating on taking her life. That explained her cut marks.

Therapy sessions, medications were administered to her. And finally my friend came out of clinical depression and I would always remember one thing she told me.

"The problem of a depressed mind is that they convince themselves that they are a waste of life and a burden to others and they should probably end the burden. That thinking and the general mindset of an Indian, who is unable to understand the situation makes it difficult for a depressed person to come out and speak up. The first step to helping a person is by listening to the affected person patiently. A troubled mind would never blurt out everything at once. They need more time to comprehend and put out information to a close one and they'll only be ready to do so if they trust the person to listen carefully. Once they are comfortable in sharing their inner turmoil, they are in a state where the person listening can reassure them about the value their life and can also encourage them to seek professional help. And a troubled mind may consider this advice which could in time help them out. But it is different for different people. But the first rule is to listen carefully and given them constant reassurance that they matter."

After she was treated from clinical depression, her mum met me and thanked me for being a good listener who her daughter could confide in. Added to that, my friend now thanks me for being there for her and listening to her which helped her open up more and successfully complete therapy.

Now I don't want to be a hypocrite. No one should be forced to believe what I said because if you go through what I just said, I did mention the only opinions I consider worthy are those who went through this and doctors. But this is my version of understanding on how you could help a person. And there are other stories about another friend of mine who was adopted but she wasn't ready to accept her new found chance in life. Depression is different for everyone. All we can do is be patient, start listening and maybe you might help a person find hope.

I was supposed to go anonymous but GTO insisted otherwise, so here I am.