[One]

Originally Posted by Bibendum90949

I've read about people who keep the pictures of loved ones on the dash. It helps when there's an adrenaline rush. I think about reaching home safely and meeting our loved ones waiting for us back home.

We all obviously know what we should do, how we should be but the the suggestion mentioned above is one of the most practical ways of keep things in check without needing the temperament of a hermit.

One of my family members used to fly choppers in the army. One photo of the ONE above (Faith/ Hope) and one photo of the folks below (Love & happiness) would keep things in context at all times including when in combat.

A great, great way of having perspective , keep those photos/ visual aids around .

Wish a happy and safe driving to all of us, we need it...

[Altocumulus]

I have a very simple philosophy.

'I won't let anything happen to the car. Period '
That indirectly also ensures that people inside and outside the car are also safe.

This does not mean I sometimes don't drive fast, I do when am on access controlled expressways where I can see everything coming from the sides. Also when I drive fast am always poised and ready to brake. I trust my driving but I don't trust anyone else on the road.

I have had my share of close shaves in the last 20 years, but following the above and also a share of luck helped not getting into regretable situations.

[BlackPearl]

Excellent thread Samba. We hardly self speculate to understand our mistakes and it is easy to put the blame on others. But at the end of the day it is me who has to save my car, no matter what others do. Over the years I have learnt that there is nothing better than professional training, be it driving or swimming or any other skill. What I do is attend driver's safety courses every few years. These courses are truly eye openers. There is a saying that the most dangerous thing we do on a daily basis is driving. No other activity can have so much impact on others as well as the driver. If something goes wrong and there is an accident, everyone in that scene gets affected. The victim can pay with his/her life, get permanently disabled, can lose his/her future if the person is an athlete/dancer or sports person, maybe lose payment for days if the person is a daily wager! Then there is the driver who will have to undergo a lot of questions, trials, insurance claims etc. There are surrounding people who might have to stop doing their work and try to help the victim/s. Finally the family members of the victim/s and driver are also severely affected. If we take all these into account, it is really a very dangerous thing. But we tend to forget that every time we pick up the keys because we live in a bubble where we think only about ourselves. If we get late to a meeting we drive fast and only think about us - "what will happen if I get late to this meeting?" "What will others think about me if I get late" "How can I drive faster to be on time" "Shall I squeeze through the yellow light as it is not going be illegal" and the list continues, but not for once do we think that what will happen if I am driving 10 kmph over limit and I am not able to stop in time to avoid an accident due to my sheer negligence!

Originally Posted by Samba

For example-
Team-Bhp moderator Blackpearl once told me, not to get carried over and drive fast through crowded places after following my car for quite a distance. This was back in 2014. We all know, it's not safe to drive fast through public places, but the word 'carried over' was the key word.

Apologies for going out of my way to give you feedback about your driving in-spite of not being an expert!

[Chetan_Rao]

My driving instructor's first lesson: 'You can't help getting angry, but you can choose to NOT let your anger drive your car!'

I do my share of moaning and complaining within the comfortable confines of my car, but if I ever feel my frustration getting to the wheel, I take a break.

[RaghuVis]

Two things that heavily helped me in most of the situations, however varying the situations are: Smile on face and use of hand actions.

1) When you are at fault (Fully or Partially) -- Look into the eyes of the driver, smile (don't laugh!) and raise your hand as a heartfelt apology. 99% of the times, the other person cools down instantly.

2) When the other person is at fault -- Look into the eyes of the driver, have a sympathetic smile and offer help. It instantly put them at ease.

Both cases, loses are going to be minimal for you.

PS: Once there was a junction where vehicles were stuck from all 4 sides as one lady at the middle of road was trying to turn but was terrified of the surroundings. She was being intimidated by people from all sides with constant honking. I was standing in front of a shop near nearby. She looked into my eyes for 2 seconds and I Just signaled that she is doing really good. There was an instant relief in her face and she carefully but successfully maneuvered. It made me really feel good!

[Arun Varma]

A couple of things that have helped me be the sedate and defensive driver that I am now:

- I started driving late - I resolved to drive only when I could buy my own car and it took me 33 years to buy one. By which time, all the excess testosterone was bled out!
- My son and daughter were / are motion sick so aggressive driving was never an option. Over time, this driving behaviour carried over even when I was driving by myself.
- I have witnessed multiple accidents over the years as a result of over speeding and aggressive driving and the horrors it has left the impacted families to deal with and I decided, nope, not if I can help it
- I've come to realise that driving at reasonable speeds allows me and my co-passengers enjoy the journey better. Arrive at the destination in a more reasonable frame of mind and has a positive carry over on the remainder of my day / travel
- Last but not least, a car (or bike), however enjoyable it may be to drive and possess, for me, is not a he/she. It is an 'it'! I think many of you will know what I mean. So I resolved to not let scratches / dents / bumps bother me as along as the people impacted are ok / are taken care of

[Chetan_Rao]

Originally Posted by RaghuVis

... Once there was a junction where vehicles were stuck from all 4 sides as one lady at the middle of road was trying to turn but was terrified of the surroundings. She was being intimidated by people from all sides with constant honking...

This frustrates me the most.

One may eventually be the best driver in the world, but everyone starts as a terrified newbie intimidated by their surroundings, until they get comfortable with their skills.

A little empathy, instead of a 'get out of my way, L-board!' attitude will make life better on the road for everyone. Honking at a stalled car, or an overwhelmed, frozen driver isn't going to make them magically react better.

A bullied newbie is likelier to just bully other newbies they encounter in the future, perpetuating the cycle.

[kiran_aithal]

Driving for more than 2 decades now, the one statement my friend made, after some 'excited' driving/'ego satisfying' over taking, stuck in my mind is 'Dude, there will always be cars/vehicles in front of you. You don't plan to overtake them all. do you?'

One category of most dangerous drivers are guys who are hell bent of overtaking a bigger/costlier/'big' brand car (guess, for ego massage or bragging rights). I have always slowed down and let them have their way. That way, even I am safe.

And, an addition to the old Zen saying - 'When eating eat, when walking walk' would be 'When driving, drive' ..

[Beerus]

I am a relatively new driver with 35k kms under my belt. With every passing year I have noticed that my behaviour on the road has calmed down. I have started stopping for people crossing the road, waiting for people to complete their U turns, blocking the traffic so that cars can leave their society gates and join safely, coming to a halt at just an orange.

I strongly feel that our road rage is connected to the illiteracy of other drivers. I feel that traffic etiquettes and rules should be part of our primary education system. Kids should be taught all this in 4th 5th grade. Because the driver's I get most pissed at are the one's driving with high-beams on and driving on the wrong side of the road (I got an aftermarket dual projector set-up to take care of these morons :P). These people don't know the difference between what's wrong and right, only educating them in their formative years is a solution.

[Jude300]

A wonderful thread! Is true that while we curse others on the road we are at fault at times too. I have done pretty high speed sometime in my life but today I regret that because I now clearly understand that our highways are not safe for those speeds. Now I cruise at 90 - 100 kmph very rarely getting into the triple digits. I feel it to more safe and as a bonus I record good fuel efficiency figures.

[Madrasin_selvan]

Great thread. Some of the things which I keep in mind are.

- When you see a car raging behind with all honks and flashing lights, just politely oblige and leave way for him. We never know what sort of emergency he/she is in.

- I personally keep the sound in my car very low when I drive in the city or enter a city after a long highway drive. It helps you concentrate more and advice my co passengers also not to talk with me. For me most of the close shaves happened when I did not follow either of these.

[anandavinash]

Great thread. If only all that we speak of could be practiced by everyone driving a vehicle. Rightly said, we have to do what we can to make it a safe drive. And to some extent, this is the same case all over the world. I have been tailgated at speeds in excess of 180 kmph on the German Autobahn and also seen a tiny Peugeot spin out of control due to Aquaplaning at 120kmph on a rainy day when I was driving in a Volvo XC60 at 80kmph. Not respecting the conditions is not a legal obligation but one that should be ingrained in us.

For me, a dialogue from the movie Rush when Nikki Lauda (played brilliantly by Daniel Bruehl) meets his wife for the first time always stays with me about driving fast. He is taunted for driving like an old man in the Italian Country side by the lady to which he retorts

"There's no need to drive fast. Just increases the percentage of risk. We're not in a hurry, I am not being paid. Right now, with zero incentive for reward, why would I drive fast?"

Of course, what follows is a display of high speed driving to impress the woman. A great movie to watch which I assume most members here already have.

[kadanaJ]

I may have found the worst (or best) solution to keeping my car safe.

Have 2 cars. A nice one, and a cheap one.

Especially helpful if the cheap car is small and narrow. City driving becomes a breeze, because your stress levels automatically become really low.

I actually prefer not taking the expensive car at all unless going for a long drive where I can enjoy the performance. I dislike driving the expensive car, because taxi drivers, rickshaws and 2-wheelers very successfully bully me, and due to fear of expensive repair bills (this car always looks pristine), I have to hit the brakes and give way, and depending on how aggressive the other drivers cut in, it can irritate me by the 10th or so time it happens.

With my cheap car, I think "what's another scratch?". "Oh, that guy has a Mercedes, no way he's taking chances with me". In fact, I can actually drive like the taxi drivers I otherwise curse so much.

I know this is a terrible solution, but quite frankly, I'm tired of seeing lack of enforcement of road rules. I'm tired of dealing with other vehicles who behave like they own the road. When I see 2-wheelers constantly driving the wrong way, or cutting signals even in front of police officers, or have to deal with taxi drivers who have 0 concept of how lanes work, the only solution I've found that prevents my anger from boiling is to stoop down to their level.

[Exhuberance]

Really appreciate the thread and the openness with which Samba and others have introspected.

From my car ownership/ driving experience of only ~1.25 lac kms but without the need of using the car insurance ever, I can share the following -

- Being at-ease with the car is important, no matter if driving fast or slow. I used to own a Tata Manza Petrol which I drove for 5 years and liked quite a lot but somehow was never at ease with it. For starters, it was a Manual and most of my driving being in city - I was challaned several times for jumping the red light. Since I switched to an Auto Rapid Diesel, those incidents vanished. I never felt the need to rush ahead behind the last car while the light was turning amber to red. I have been much more at ease with my Auto Rapid for 6+ years now. Although, now I have been caught over-speeding at Yamuna expressway but IMHO 100kmph limit is too low for that e-way. :-)

- Secondly, the driver has to be at-ease within himself. It may sound philosophical/ spiritual mumbo-jumbo but yoga-sadhana practices have helped me be at a little more ease within myself. Doesn't work always or in all situations but it's a work-in-progress. Earlier, I used to get all raged up in case of small scratches or dents by other drivers and had serious altercations as well. But since last few years since I started my practices, my first reactions is to just laugh at the ludicrousness of others or accept a minor scratch as part and parcel of driving in India. The incidents have not changed but my response to them is changing little by little everyday.

There are many useful tips and reminders shared here by fellow members but I think it is often difficult to remember those lessons in actual situations or day-to-day routines. Hence I think if one can work on being at-ease with himself and the car, he/ she may notice some changes at least.

[ChandraSekarMN]

Nice thread @Samba. Most of us (if not all) would have experienced/ continue to experience most of the points listed in your opening post.
I wish I can behave with such maturity always like some of you have already mentioned. Being prepared for others mistakes, takes stresses to lower levels.
But most important thing I have experienced is, that my cool goes away / I get pumped up not when some incident happens, but how i react to such incidents. Just to give an example, if someone brushes my car / bike, my reaction can be in two ways:
1. If the person exhibits an apologetic body language / signal, I would just not overreact.
2. If the person knowingly tries to ignore, or exhibits arrogant reaction, I get pumped up and tend to overreact.
So I have made (trying sincerely )a habit to be composed and don't get offensive for any such incidents. This helps a lot to not vent out our emotions in the mornings or evenings (which is already being influenced by our professional life requirements)