[Roy.S]

Originally Posted by bblost

Why can't you control your rage instead?......

I've been asking myself this question for the last 25 years. Its really difficult to do.

I'm not an aggressive driver and the few incidents where I've been rear ended/Brushed against/Lightly tapped by a biker; have always ended with me and the other guy parting on cordial terms. One of them is now a friend and I often call him for legal advice.

However the high beam maniacs, people who squeeze into the gap between my car and the one ahead and those who honk at me seem to wake up my inner demon.

I have noticed that listening to audiobooks when I drive seems to have a calming effect on me. Especially if its narrated by Stephen Fry.

[nasirkaka]

Why can't you control your rage instead?

Thats a difficult one as these are quick reactions to an action and not something which is pre-planned. One of the reasons I can think of is I try and abide by the rules to my abilities and expect others to do the same. For example, when I am driving, I try and follow lane discipline and get agitated when someone jumps the lane at a signal to move forward, and in the process blocks the way for oncoming traffic, creating a jam.

Please do not misunderstand my post. I am just in my 'big brother' mode with this answer.

Not at all. These are the feeling we all go through on a day to day basis on our roads. Infact I try and tell myself and also family members to keep calm and not get worked-up by such incidents on road. To a large extent, I am at peace and in control of my emotions, but this High-Beam issues is my achilles heel. When I see one, I find it difficult to restrain and show my resentment.

[Rapidholic]

I have been practising this technique and it has helped to a certain extent:

As soon as I spot a moron (in any direction) I say it out loud "deploy countermeasures", unfortunately I don't have any in my ride but it puts me in a mode where no matter what I will not engage and do everything possible in my control to let that vehicle disappear from my sight.

1. If this vehicle is approaching from back, honking and flashing, I politely get out of the way and within a few seconds the threat is reduced to a negligible level.

2. If the vehicle is already slow or at my speed and is engaging in dangerous maneuvers from either side, I slow myself down. It sure does cost me a few minutes extra but strictly abide by "durghatna se der bhali". There are times when I just floor it and get away but slowing down is a less riskier proposition.

3. If I'm in a situation where the vehicle has brushed against my vehicle irrespective of whose fault it is, I wait and observe. In most cases the OP is at fault and if I don't react they most likely speed away and trust me it's better that way but if they try to engage/stop then I'm prepared to descalate. I am at fault, I observe and let it play while being prepared to apologise and descalate the situation rather than worrying about the damage (learnt this the hard way). While doing all this it is crucial to be aware of the body language of the OP (we all are aware of the red flags but the moment I have unbuckled the seatbelt I am inviting danger, so I stay put and use my best judgement to descalate with a smile or an apology gesture). This a very rare scenario when I diligently follow 1 and 2.

4. In case of an accident no one can predict what will happen so it depends on survival instinct and one's best judgement in addition to a lot of external factors.


Hope this perspective is useful and I'm grateful for the tbhp threads and members who have played a crucial role in developing it. It's like a toolkit and I'm glad to have it everytime I'm driving/riding.


Thanks
Rapidholic

[deehunk]

I was just checking the road rage incidents that have happened in Bangalore; although not accurate, but more than 100 incidents have been reported and complaints registered. But how many of these complaints had a logical ending? What was shocking is that even a 77-year-old person was killed in one such incident, which was initially thought to be an accident.

As common men, we can only avoid road rage incidents by controlling our egos. Probably even this recent incident involving the IAF guy would have been forgotten if he had not made a false video of being victimised for not being a Kannadiga. Now he has fled from Bangalore, which has further escalated the situation.

[bblost]

Originally Posted by deehunk

As common men, we can only avoid road rage incidents by controlling our egos.

This is the most important of all the lines that have been written here.

In a street fight, there are no winners.

We tend to forget just how fragile our bodies are. A push and shove, person falls, cracks his head, game over. No undo buttons.

[Flyingdutchman]

Notwithstanding the validity of those punches by AIF officer in Bengaluru, one must understand that every uniformed officer is bound by a code of conduct whether he is on duty or not. Wing commander is a senior rank, equivalent to SP(Police)/ Lt. Col (Army). He should have exercised better judgement.

Yes, Altercations do happen. Officers of his stature should have approached Police instead of taking things into his own hands. As far as court marshal is concerned, that's for AIF authorities to decide but anyone who has seen service personnel from close would know that people have been punished for such things in the past as well. Maybe he being WC will grant him some leverage but a reprimand is in order.

But people are missing out on the main reason for the outcry. He threw hundreds of punches towards that guy, landed none and when that delivery guy defended/charged towards him, keys in his hand hit the WC on forehead and thus the subsequent bleeding. Then what he does? He recorded a video of himself, fabricated a one sided story, mentioned that he did not even retaliate the guy, made this whole issue about language/outsider-insider, shared the video within his friends circle to spread the narrative. If there was no CCTV surveillance , He might have succeeded in that as well. This whole episode was very unprofessional and could have been avoided.

[sachinpk]

I was reading all the comments on the IAF Officer v/s Delivery Boy @ Call Centre employee, and then came to few conclusions;

1. There was an incident which triggered the fight. It was NOT a case of the Delivery Boy @ Call Centre employee just riding past the IAF officer and the officer decides to test his boxing skills on him.

2. The Delivery Boy @ Call Centre employee may have come with an initial thought that he can abuse or mildly assault the IAF officer and in a worst case scenario, use the language & regional/state card to get away. This has been very standard pattern observed at least in most of the road rage issues in Bangalore. Even a puny fellow will try to act like a Godzilla, especially if he feels that his target may be a non-local.

3. The Delivery Boy @ Call Centre employee did not expect the kind of bashing he was to receive. He was badly beaten up, and was in no position to retaliate. The local bye-standers who tried to intervene, could have done that after knowing that this is a one sided fight and the local fellow who started it, is now getting badly whacked.

4. The IAF officer made a big mistake on going live on social media and bringing the langauge & state issue. It may have scored brownie points amongst few non-Kannadigas, but also opened a pandora's box. It was after this the CCTV footage was all dug up and it was known that it was never a one-sided fight and there was more to the story. If this did not happen, even if the CCTV footage gets leaked later people would say that the Delivery Boy @ Call Centre employee tried to act smart, but got his just medicine.

The Criminal Courts and Court-Martial (Adjustment of Jurisdiction) Rules,.1952 is the Rule which determines what happens next. The IAF officer even if arrested by Karnataka Police, cannot be detained in a police lock up or civil sub jail. He would have to be handed over to an officer commanding an IAF/defence unit, and the IAFP would keep him in safe custody. Even when the officer/soldier is produced before a Magistrate, the Magistrate cannot begin the trial. Magistrate informs the CO of the offence, and the CO has the authority to decide whether a court martial would suffice. In such a case the magistrate hands over the accused officer and the statement of charges to the CO. The CO then has the duty to inform the Magistrate on the decisions taken after the court martial. I don't see IAF deciding to hand over their officer for a compartively minor offence to a civil magistrate.

Originally Posted by Flyingdutchman

As far as court marshal is concerned, that's for AIF authorities to decide but anyone who has seen service personnel from close would know that people have been punished for such things in the past as well.

May be the IAF officer would get punished/reprimanded. But Air Force authorities for sure would be handling this case much better than Bangalore Police who have not been able to do any thing to control the road rage incidents, especially where local folks are on one side. The IAF officer if he had acted as a true officer & gentlemen and approached the civil police with a compliant, the Delivery Boy @ Call Centre employee would still claim his victory and also would be let out on bail by the magistrate's court. And the trial would be held much later, where the IAF officer (from where ever he has posted) will have to appear in the civil court as a witness.

[GeeTee TSI]

Originally Posted by nasirkaka

My problem is with the on-coming vehicles who keep their headlight on High-beam and there are plenty of them on the road. Even when I flash in protest, they do not dip the light. Some of these modern LED headlights and additional lights are very very bright and blinding. This is very irritating and hazardous, especailly as a two wheeler rider around suburban roads.

One way to deal with blinding oncoming headlights (coming from learning to drive on undivided roads of KL) is to focus on the ground in front of you and not the headlights per se. You will see the approaching car in your peripheral vision still and the blinding moron will also do his bit to avoid your path.

[dodgem]

I try not to "mentally connect" with bad drivers. Instead, I focus on myself and my own driving, staying centered rather than reacting to others. I keep telling myselg, that I too is not 100% perfect. I may also be making mistakes which may be causing trouble to others. The key is not letting emotions take over.

It’s something that takes practice — and driving gives you plenty of opportunities to train. I still find myself getting pulled in at times, but now I’m able to recognize it and snap out of it almost immediately.

It’s always better to arrive a few minutes late than to carry the stress that builds up from road rage. Peace of mind is worth more than winning on the road.

[nasirkaka]

Team-BHP saved me from almost getting into a road rage.

I was on my way to work this morning riding on a motorcycle. On a relatively empty Bommasandra-Jigani road, a tata ace almost hit me. The road has some large potholes spread across at many sections. I was riding peacefully when the tata ace approached me from my left and suddenly sweavered right to avoid a pot hole. In this process he almost hit me, only to be saved by my guarding angels. I got angry and overtook asking him to stop. Parked the bike in the middle of the road, put the side stand down, got off and went towards the tata ace.

Yesterday I was reading some posts on this thread and some of them played on my mind on how not to loose cool and get into trouble. The tata ace driver was a young guy, who looked sorry for his rash manouver and mumbled some excuse. I was wearing riding gear, so would have looked intimidating as well. I tried keeping my cool and told him to drive carefully as such moves could have easily tossed me off the bike. Meanwhile many vehicles piled up at the back and started honking for blocking their way. I got on the bike and rode on.

If it was not for spending some time on this thread yersterday, things could have gone differently. All is well thats ends well.

In retrospect, if the road did not have large potholes, the tata ace guy would not have done that rash manouver and would have driven straight. A lot of accidents and reason for road-rash are also related to bad infrastructure like bad roads, no street lights, unscientific speed breakers, haphazard diversions and bottle necks, etc.

[deehunk]

I recently started driving a two-wheeler in Bangalore after a long gap of 13 years. What I realized was there is very little space for them on roads that are mostly bad and have deep potholes, so I, the same person who shouted at bikers, was now driving zigzag to avoid the bad stretches. So, now I don't shout at them nor make any gestures.

[Roy.S]

Originally Posted by nasirkaka

...
If it was not for spending some time on this thread yesterday, things could have gone differently. All is well thats ends well.....

You deserve a standing ovation for not letting your rage take over you. Rock on!

[GTO]

Mod Note: Please be civil, polite & respectful to others, even in debate. Thanks for the support & understanding

[Small Bot]

Not apropos of anything recently discussed, but I find that my mood is influenced by the heat outside and the music inside my car, a lot.

As in, if it's hot outside and my AC is not at my preferred 24°C, I get enraged by some random auto driver who thinks he's driving an ambulance.

If I'm playing Rammstein instead of Loreena McKennitt, I get this unstoppable urge to stop abruptly in front of an errant two-wheeler and demand to know if he's Max Biaggi's first cousin.

With the right music and chill air around me, I'm a peaceful buffalo inside my own car.

[sarathlal]

Originally Posted by PrasannaDhana

From what the CCTV footages show, the biker doesn't seem to be all that innocent either.

Its best to keep cool and avoid any altercation with the low lives on road, which seems to have become very very common nowadays.

'there's always a bigger fish'
Irrespective of who is right or wrong, looks like the biker fellow got a bigger fish that day.

Originally Posted by saket77

So, even the 'refined' audience of TBHP is hardly anything other than a small (but accurate) sample of the entire population.

This is an important factor I learned from this forum. No matter how black or white a scenario looks like, these discussions have shown that there are 50% who are for and another 50% who are against. The classic case is the accident thread discussing Polo flying off the flyover.

Originally Posted by nasirkaka

Why can't people drive sensibly and within the rules.

A lot of incidents of road-rage would come down if the problem was nipped in the bud.

We are in this situation because of lack of enforcements. There are scores of people driving around without understanding basics of driving rules, not to mention about etiquettes. And since they are not facing any consequences from the authorities, it's a free run.
Alas, penalising for non availability of pollution control certificate for a 2 year old car is more important than all the above situations for them.