[idontdrivedoi]

Esteemed mods, merge with another thread if there is one already.

The prompt is to describe the carmakers operating in India in one sentence. A few from my side:

Maruti Suzuki : Reliable, but somewhat unsafe cars for rapidly growing middle class India.

Mahindra: The only maker of more than one true blue SUVs under 50 lakh in India.

Citroën: Mechanically sorted, aesthetically pleasing but technologically challenged cars available very sparsely.

[yedukrishnan199]

Here are a few more, which came across my head

Hyundai : Feature-loaded cars with a huge network at competitive prices.

Tata : A diverse range of cars with varying fuel options with an emphasis on safety

Kia : Stylish, feature-packed, well-designed cars, each with a trim for everyone.

Toyota : Reliability and durability for its cars, with many badge-engineered Marutis.

[theAutomaniac]

This would be my list with no offence to any brand!

Maruti Suzuki- Best cars for daily commutes. Most lack soul and safety and focus on peace and paisa saving.

Kia/Hyundai- Maruti but premium. They sometimes focus more on soul and less on peace.

Tata- Their marketing team wants you to believe that they make world-class cars, but they don't. Overall the best cars to recommend to your enemies.

Mahindra- India's best automakers. They understand the market, innovate with excellence, have a soul, and actually try to resolve customer problems.

Toyota- They may look bad right now, but except for Maruti, Mahindra, and Koreans, they have the best long-term strategy to stay in the market.

Renault/Nissan/Citroen- Impactful and purposeful cars, but very lazy.

Honda/Jeep- Had great potential, but laziness and greed has put them on deathbed.

[jigar1791@gmail]

These are my interpretations for the known mass-market brands in India

Maruti Suzuki- India does come home, in a Maruti Suzuki

Kia/Hyundai- The wannabe riches - coming along a long way though

Tata- Beat us if you can, you'd get hurt if you do

Mahindra & Mahindra- India's answer to Ford and GM's muscle cars (read = ScorpioN, XUV700 and the Thar)

Toyota- The Rahul Dravid of India's automobile team (ever Mr. reliable and Mr. dependable)

Renault/Nissan/Citroen- India, who? Take it or leave it

Honda/Jeep- The single hero franchisees

Skoda/VW- The high maintenance girls

[saikishor]

Citroen: Clueless
Maruti: Ambitionless
Nissan: Worthless

[aniketi]

Some thoughts from me -

Maruti Suzuki - Bharat drives Maruti, peace of mind guaranteed.

Kia/Hyundai - Overpriced and overrated, some designs sucks.

Tata - Good, safe cars with Tata trust and Dil Se Hindustani.

Mahindra & Mahindra - Good cars with great diesel heart, need some better designs and A.S.S.

Toyota - We are here to loot you, wanna try?

Renault/Nissan - Not sure why they are here, highly confused strategies and company itself.

Honda - Lost the way in between few years back, still finding road to victory.

Jeep - Great cars with messed up strategy and A.S.S. Driving against tide without petrol heart.

Skoda/VW - Buy at your own risk, terms and conditions apply

[roy_libran]

Maruti Suzuki - El cheapo cardboard boxes on wheels
Hyundai - Great products for the mass market
Kia - Wannabe Hyundai
Mahindra - Fly by night operator
Tata - A better Mahindra with some fab products
Toyota - Reliability sells (at any price)
Honda - All is not lost
Citroen - All is lost
Renault - Get your act together
Nissan - Why are they here
Jeep - Expensive marketing hype
Skoda/VW - Beautiful but risky
BMW - Beautiful, Risky and Expensive
Mercedes - Once great cars, now sells barges
Audi - Wannabe Merc/BMW
Volvo - Underrated excellence

[funnysaltbrick]

PS:- THESE ARE ALL SATIRISED ONELINERS BASED ON WHERE THE BRANDS STAND, /S TAG IS ALL OVER IT, USERS BEWARE


Maruti Suzuki:- We were good, and then came the cost cutting.

Hyundai:- They'd buy whatever we throw at them anyways.

Tata:- Service may be your motto but not ours.

Mahindra:- Want a turbodiesel? Our EV's are far off anyways.

Kia:- Mechanics be damned, look at this *insert gimmick of choice*

Toyota:- There's a reason politicians and war outfits like us, you'll see.

Honda:- What do you mean the City isn't enough? What more do you need?

Nissan:- What do you mean India is a relevant market?

Renault:- Economy class works here like a gem.

Jeep:- It's a Jeep, who cares if it's awfully planned?

Citroen:- *insert a french man screaming into the skies as he gets ignored*

VW:- I blame your taxes and your mindset.

Skoda:- Well, atleast the Indians like us.

[GautamJ]

Ford - Couldn’t Af-Ford in India

[tofudriver]

Light hearted humour. No offence to anybody.

Maruti: At least 5 in the family tree has one. Reliable workhorse.

Hyundai: Sharma ji of carmakers. Knows everything, does everything.

Honda: We are content with what we have. We do our job, you do yours.

Tata: Safe in accidents not so safe in service centres. Risky yet rewarding.

VW/Skoda: Will make or break your home. Part is not available, sir.

Mahindra: We live young, we live free. Now, we wait for at least 1 year after booking.

Toyota: One of the model sells like hot cakes. No sunroof for you, pay 10 lakh extra now.

Kia: Tops in all subject except one important subject. Designers are well paid.

Nissan: We have a market in India? Facelift hehe! Done for the day.

Renault: First one to introduce the "Race of CSUV". Also, the first one to get eliminated.

Citroën: Do I really have to study the market? Oh, we did make a blunder, we have to now.

Ford: Big time Teaser. Loves to patent everything.

[Nikhilvm4]

Maruti Suzuki:- Should start providing complimentary medical and life insurance with their cars

Hyundai:- For those wanting to upgrade their Marutis

Tata:- Truly making an effort but not yet there

Mahindra:- Big thank you for not downsizing your engines

Kia:- Sheep in wolves clothing. Ideally they should have provided the Hyundai engines in a better state of tune

Toyota:- Reliable ego booster

Honda:- Tried to go local and failed miserably [Brio, Amaze, BRV]

Nissan:- Do they still sell in India?

Renault:- I see a great comeback with the launch of the new Duster

Jeep:- 7 years and they could not find another product for India??

Citroen:- Good brand let down by poor product management

VW:- Hopefully, success of Taigun and Virtus would have renewed their confidence in India

Skoda:- Capable of giving worthy and budget friendly alternatives to the entry level German models [BMW, Merc, Audi]

[sachin_cs]

• Audi- great cars mechanically but lost it’s sheen, sells on discounts
• BMW- car once know for performance is selling puny engines while Merc on the other hand known for comfort is giving better engines eg GLA vs X1, 5 vs E
• Mercedes- The ultimate luxury barge in the country and no one understands the luxury car market & experience better than Mercedes does. Earlier I used to think that Mercs are for uncles, I take my words back.
• Mahindra- desi brand with global products. Huge respect for them. I once drove a Discovery Sport then drove the XUV700, I was amazed.
• Hyundai/Kia- They are Zara of car brands, look and feel good on the outside but lack quality
• Kia- MBA case study
• Tata- great cars spoiled by clueless A.S.S. We are on our 3rd Tata but things have not changed
• VW- they know how to make timeless designs for sure, just look at Virtus GT, there’s nothing more beautiful than that machine
• Skoda- A brand close to my heart, you get the driving experience of luxury cars at half the price. Service can be a gamble though. What they need is Superb, Octavia & Kodiaq at reasonable prices
• Maruti- no matter how fragile their cars are, they surely know the Indian customers & the Indian roads
• JLR- A brand I will never touch even with a barge pole, having worked with them, QC is something straight out of Tata
• Honda/Renault/Nissan- Either give Indians what they want, or just leave because despite having some fantastic global products, you guys are taking India for granted
• Toyota- first choice of taxi/Netas/Bureaucrats/hotels & they can price whatever they want to

[viren83]

Toyota - Million Miles Guaranteed

Honda - Gentleman's car

Maruti Suzuki - Only Toyota is more reliable

Isuzu - John Abraham has one

Hyundai - Believe in the Best

Kia - Better than the Best

Nissan - Cheap Thrills

Renault - Cheap and Different

Citroen - Different and Cheap

Jeep - American Ego

TATA - India's Pride

Mahindra - India's 2nd Pride

Force - You get Mercedes at the price of a TATA

VW - I'm the Game.

Skoda - I'm the Joke.

Mercedes - The last word in Luxury.

BMW - Love Driving?

Audi - Can't afford a Merc?

Porsche - Got BMW?

Lexus - Ikigai

Volvo - You should see our Safety features

Jaguar - The J in the JLR

Land Rover - Got Money?

Range Rover - Got Enormous Money?

[ashivas89]

BMW- The W in BMW now stands for Weird (designs).
Mercedes- The three pointed star now signifies the number of years the cars are designed to work.

<Insert disclaimer here>

[Nav-i-gator]

Maruti: Class topper from humble family background.

Hyundai: Class topper whose father is a top shot, so all flashy.

Honda: The guy who every teacher loves and see a lot of potential in, but disappoints all the time.

Tata: The macho boy with strong build, but is always down with flu and rarely comes to the school.

VW/Skoda: The siblings who were born out of India, and blame their failure on the school, weather, traffic and everyone but themselves.

Mahindra: Hardworking guy with a weird hairdo, flashy accessories and attire - wannabe rapper.

Toyota: guy with 100% attendance, be it heatwave, or floods outside.

Kia: guy whose father is connected to the school owners and hence walks with a flair.

Nissan: back bencher, who is stuck in the same class for years.

Renault: Another back bencher, who pass each class every two years.

Citroën: Newcomer, who thought he knows everything, and now has no clue.

Ford: guy who was expelled from the school but boasts to everyone that he left the school because the school was crap.