Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by jkdas

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javascript:function reverse() { var inp = "!sadkj ekil krow lufesu emos oD .siht lla gniod rof efil uoy nevig ton sah doG "; var outp="";for (i = 0; i <= inp.length; i++) { outp =inp.charAt (i) + outp;}alert(outp) ;}; reverse();

hehe

Hahaha!!! Not THAT made my day! Very innovative I must say!

Godspeed.

Alok.

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he
rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce
for him -- "very quick." The lawyer said that the speed for getting a
divorce would then depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following
questions:

LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."
LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It made of concrete."
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in yo! ur marriage?"
POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."
LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I always up before her."
LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
POLE: "No, she white."
LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me."
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof.
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical .

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL : The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do
I lifted my dress up.

SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL : Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man
with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,

be LOGICAL sometimes...

Kenny & the Dead Donkey

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night."

Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Kenny said: "OK then, just unload the donkey."

The farmer asked: "What you gonna do with him?"

Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot -! to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket)

Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.00."

Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"

Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars."

Kenny grew up and eventually became the CEO of the American Energy Company : Enron (This am not sure)