Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread
Team-BHP

Team-BHP (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/)
-   Et Cetera (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/et-cetera/)
-   -   The Official Joke thread (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/et-cetera/2439-official-joke-thread-673.html)

Ghor Kaliyug...Yesterday , Padmavati married Allaudin Khilji !!

-unknown

When HE is faced with the same problem as he!

The Official Joke thread-img20181117wa0006.jpg

Credit:The original cartoonist.

Thanks to aviationhumor.net for the following text. (And to truthorfiction.com for sifting fact from fiction.)

THE US STANDARD RAILROAD GAUGE IS 4 FEET, 8.5 INCHES. THAT’S AN EXCEEDINGLY ODD NUMBER

Quote:

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?

Because that’s the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads.

Why did the English build them like that?

Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.

Why did “they” use that gauge then?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?

Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads?

Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads?

Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for! an Imperial Roman war chariot. And bureaucracies live forever

So the next time you are handed a spec and told we have always done it that way and wonder what horse’s ass came up with that, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.

Now the twist to the story…

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.

The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is bout as wide as two horses’ behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse’s ass.

And you thought being a horse’s ass wasn’t important.

Weird place to meet !!

Beware!! These come with a temper

Appologies if the video has been posted before.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1J5Mwajm60A

Gentlemen & Ladies, I don't know if this is for real but it is certainly graphic. Apologies in advance if it hurts someone's sensibilities or resembles any one dead or alive. The co-incidence is strictly deliberate.

Got this as a WhatsApp forward.

How to deal with high beams:
The Official Joke thread-img20181202wa0007.jpg

Looks quite easy for a DIY.lol:

Most of our meets... :D

https://www.facebook.com/dieselpower...2559194070768/

The guys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to room with Kevin, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Kevin and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you ?"
He said, "Kev snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you ? You look awful..!!"
He said, 'Man, that Kevin shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Bill's turn. He was a tanned, older Biker, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

"Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened ?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Kevin into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night on the lips.......

Kevin 😳😳 sat up and watched me all night..

With age comes wisdom...

Quote:

Originally Posted by francis_vaz (Post 4505001)
How to deal with high beams:


Useful to deal with folks who use the honk unnecessarily as well. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by francis_vaz (Post 4505001)
Got this as a WhatsApp forward.

How to deal with high beams:

Looks quite easy for a DIY.lol:

On a serious note, I quite like this idea. Can we not just chrome the boot lids of our sedans so any high beam gets reflected back to it's source? Something similar to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohEslviXrQo with just the boot chromed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bharatbits (Post 4512769)
On a serious note, I quite like this idea. Can we not just chrome the boot lids of our sedans so any high beam gets reflected back to it's source?

We don't have chrome colored cars because it reflects sunlight posing a hazard to everybody on the road :)

Read in the context of a video that has recently gone viral, truth couldn't be any nearer or clearer than this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by francis_vaz (Post 4505001)
Got this as a WhatsApp forward.

How to deal with high beams:

Looks quite easy for a DIY.lol:

This was posted on Boredpanda.com, the theme was how the artist imagined a rich guy would deal with everyday problems! (image/comic credits/rights belongs to the original artist.)


All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 09:29.