The Official Joke thread

swissknife · 9th July 2017, 13:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by turbodude

Contribution from a friend who is frustrated with JK tyres. Mods please delete if you find it inappropriate.

I suppose bringing in brands into a joke thread is not quite acceptable. I have seen posts type casting based on brands that have been deleted. Probably the mods haven't seen this yet.

schakravarthy · 9th July 2017, 13:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by swissknife

I suppose bringing in brands into a joke thread is not quite acceptable. I have seen posts type casting based on brands that have been deleted. Probably the mods haven't seen this yet.

He he he. And you, sir, haven't probably seen the first post of this thread.

It's all in lighter vein. Let it be.

BenjiRoss · 15th July 2017, 07:21

Saw this ad on olx.
If the box can do this, wonder what smart stuff the phone can do.

The Official Joke thread-screenshot_20170715072008687.jpeg

swissknife · 15th July 2017, 18:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by BenjiRoss

Saw this ad on olx.
If the box can do this, wonder what smart stuff the phone can do.

It would probably make use of the restroom

maddy42 · 20th July 2017, 23:50

All Thar owners please pardon me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82aKhzX2pCM

Maddy

avdhesh15 · 21st July 2017, 00:15

Can the Jeep Compass be added here? Just wondering due to the discussion thread on the car

sparky@home · 27th July 2017, 20:27

FINAL LAW EXAM PAPER (extracted from a real exam)

A woman was driving an old Volvo car when she mistakenly hit a 2016 Range Rover.

The lady came out from her Range Rover insulting the other lady for not being careful, asking her to repair her Range Rover.

The woman with the Volvo called her husband, he replied that he was busy, that she should try fix up things and that they will meet later at home.

The lady with the Range Rover called her boyfriend and said "sweetheart someone just hit the birthday gift you gave me, I am so angry, please come over."

Few minutes later her boyfriend arrived. Guess what? He is the husband to the lady with the Volvo car.

Discuss the possible legal consequences for all 3 parties.. (20 Marks)

TheStranger · 27th July 2017, 20:48

Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”

Man: “I had to get to work.”

Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”

Man: "I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus."

dailydriver · 27th July 2017, 22:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky@home

A woman was driving an old Volvo car when she mistakenly hit a 2016 Range Rover...

You have been condored my friend. Please refer to post #9756

.

Here's one from my side:

A person went to a kirana shop to purchase tur dal. On hearing the price, he fell unconscious and sadly passed away. The PM read:

Cause of death - "High pulse rate."

jayded · 29th July 2017, 15:21

I don't think people are going to enjoy the cake that well.

The Official Joke thread-screen-shot-20170729-3.19.48-pm.png

tp_dominator · 31st July 2017, 09:03

http://postoast.com/funny-bumper-stickers/
I found some stickers to be hilarious. Nevertheless, a good collection of whacky stickers.

sparky@home · 4th August 2017, 11:14

A typical O.Henry type short story

During a recent outing in Kerala, a woman squeezed a little time off, to visit a fortune teller of some local repute.

In the semi-dark, hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered the grave news.

*"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt:

Prepare yourself to be a widow.

Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."*

Stunned & Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the fortune teller's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands".

She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.

She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked,

"Will I be acquitted?"

auto_enthusiast · 7th August 2017, 10:35

On the menace of driving with high beam in city

Somebody please start a rumour or a WhatsApp forward somehow proving that driving with high beams on consumes extraaa fuel

ksameer1234 · 7th August 2017, 10:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by auto_enthusiast

On the menace of driving with high beam in city

Better still, driving in high beam causes extra heat to be generated in the bulbs and this emits harmful impotons, particles which travel through the AC vents and inhaling them causes impotency.

Now this should work.

gkveda · 7th August 2017, 12:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by auto_enthusiast

On the menace of driving with high beam in city

Somebody please start a rumour or a WhatsApp forward somehow proving that driving with high beams on consumes extraaa fuel

This is true. If cars use high beams, the high beam light resists the car from moving forward. So, the engine has to exert more power to overcome the high beam light resistance. Therefore fuel consumption is high

15th July 2017, 07:21	#9768
BenjiRoss Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Tamilnadu Posts: 1,071 Thanked: 1,333 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Saw this ad on olx. If the box can do this, wonder what smart stuff the phone can do.

21st July 2017, 00:15	#9771
avdhesh15 BHPian Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Mumbai Posts: 901 Thanked: 1,323 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Can the Jeep Compass be added here? Just wondering due to the discussion thread on the car

27th July 2017, 20:27	#9772
sparky@home BHPian Join Date: Jun 2017 Location: KL08/KL46 Posts: 434 Thanked: 1,695 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread FINAL LAW EXAM PAPER (extracted from a real exam) A woman was driving an old Volvo car when she mistakenly hit a 2016 Range Rover. The lady came out from her Range Rover insulting the other lady for not being careful, asking her to repair her Range Rover. The woman with the Volvo called her husband, he replied that he was busy, that she should try fix up things and that they will meet later at home. The lady with the Range Rover called her boyfriend and said "sweetheart someone just hit the birthday gift you gave me, I am so angry, please come over." Few minutes later her boyfriend arrived. Guess what? He is the husband to the lady with the Volvo car. Discuss the possible legal consequences for all 3 parties.. (20 Marks)

27th July 2017, 20:48	#9773
TheStranger BHPian Join Date: Jan 2016 Location: Kolkata WB-08 Posts: 105 Thanked: 132 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Judge: “Why did you steal the car?” Man: “I had to get to work.” Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?” Man: "I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus."

29th July 2017, 15:21	#9775
jayded BHPian Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: TVM, ADL Posts: 564 Thanked: 569 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread I don't think people are going to enjoy the cake that well.

31st July 2017, 09:03	#9776
tp_dominator BHPian Join Date: Dec 2016 Location: Pune Posts: 212 Thanked: 1,015 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread http://postoast.com/funny-bumper-stickers/ I found some stickers to be hilarious. Nevertheless, a good collection of whacky stickers.

4th August 2017, 11:14	#9777
sparky@home BHPian Join Date: Jun 2017 Location: KL08/KL46 Posts: 434 Thanked: 1,695 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread A typical O.Henry type short story During a recent outing in Kerala, a woman squeezed a little time off, to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In the semi-dark, hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered the grave news. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Stunned & Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the fortune teller's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands". She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"

7th August 2017, 10:35	#9778
auto_enthusiast BHPian Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Bombay / Surat Posts: 297 Thanked: 593 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread On the menace of driving with high beam in city Somebody please start a rumour or a WhatsApp forward somehow proving that driving with high beams on consumes extraaa fuel Attached Thumbnails