The Official Joke thread

Zappo · 18th November 2016, 15:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitesquall

It is "GOLDEN" not "GOLD"!!

Hell!!! Yessir....

Tanmay K · 18th November 2016, 16:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Boss

How should I read it

YOU ARE - NOT - MY SON (or) YOU ARE NOT, MY SON!

I would think it's the first. People have generally made fun of Jeep Cherokee to have become more of a luxury vehicle than a "true" Jeep. So it's like the older Cherokee refusing to admit that it shares its DNA the new Cherokee

thesilentone · 22nd November 2016, 16:56

I did not realise that Maruti Swift ZDI had come in a goods carrier option also

msprabhakar · 22nd November 2016, 17:56

Spotts is my friend's Dalmatian dog!

IronH4WK · 24th November 2016, 08:03

Truth be told

The Official Joke thread-imageuploadedbyteambhp1479954800.150623.jpg

Source: fb/sarcasm

AirWind · 29th November 2016, 13:32

http://www.msn.com/en-in/autos/photo...tandhp#image=8

500ContyCruiser · 29th November 2016, 21:49

Found this on 9gag

Jeroen · 30th November 2016, 10:07

Very handy and informative video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6Gs...k#action=share

Jeroen

landcruiser123 · 4th December 2016, 15:07

https://www.viu.com/en/listing/playlist-24122189

Enjoy your Sunday evening. You will understand the conversation if you don't follow cricket.

libranof1987 · 5th December 2016, 22:30

This brings out all the many cliches our society has been known for.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/p...y/55812809.cms

msprabhakar · 7th December 2016, 06:19

Easiest way to convert Black Money to White Money (Mathematically proven!)

Let’s denote every unit of Black Money as -1 and every unit of White Money as +1
-1= i^2=i×i= √(-1) × √(-1)= √(-1 × -1)= √(+1)= +1

mazda4life · 17th December 2016, 17:21

Towards the end of a wedding, the bride's father approached the groom and said,
"Son, I received your last minute WhatsApp message asking me for your wedding gift. I found your request a bit strange, but I have to fulfill your wish regardless. Here's the packet of *Four Underwear* you asked for."

The groom was startled, then looked at his message again... In a rage, he smashed his iPhone on the floor... "Bloody Autocorrect! It was supposed to be *Ford Endeavour*'!!"

ank_bhp · 18th December 2016, 19:16

Found it scrolling through facebook, it usually happens!

The Official Joke thread-imageuploadedbyteambhp1482068761.562085.jpg

mayankk · 19th December 2016, 16:52

One of the funniest things I have read in a long time.

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-mo...aman?srid=ty5U

Text:
What is the most amazing thing you overheard because people didn't think you understood their language?

Jason Yeaman

While I was in Oman, I over heard a German speaking to a hotel employee (who was shining the golden fittings on a staircase railing) at the Al Bustian. It didn't seem like the employee understood Deutsch (I didn't know what the German was saying either) and the guy was visibly irritated. Probably not because of the language barrier issue, but because he seemed to be in a hurry and he was walking around humped over as if he was injured.

The German guy finally had enough and screamed, “Nuq dah ooh pooch pa eh’!” (Spelling my be inaccurate ) , in desperation. That's when the employee grabbed him and dragged him around the corner.

I stood in compete amazement at what just happened … baffled, as I contemplated the odds of this scenario:

An Omani who didn't understand Deutsch and a German who (probably) didn't speak English or Arabic were just observed by an American -(myself) who can’t spell and barely speaks his own native English properly - as one asked the other, “Where is the bathroom!”

In Klingon.

centaur · 21st December 2016, 15:45

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man meets his friend
who has started wearing ear rings.

He asks "Since when did u start wearing earrings?"

Friend
"ever since my wife
found them in my car !!"

22nd November 2016, 16:56	#9633
thesilentone BHPian Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Chennai Posts: 268 Thanked: 337 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread I did not realise that Maruti Swift ZDI had come in a goods carrier option also Attached Thumbnails

22nd November 2016, 17:56	#9634
msprabhakar BHPian Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Mumbai Posts: 265 Thanked: 89 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Spotts is my friend's Dalmatian dog! Attached Thumbnails

24th November 2016, 08:03	#9635
IronH4WK Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bangalore Posts: 3,468 Thanked: 4,152 Times	Truth be told Source: fb/sarcasm

29th November 2016, 13:32	#9636
AirWind Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,000 Thanked: 410 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread http://www.msn.com/en-in/autos/photo...tandhp#image=8

29th November 2016, 21:49	#9637
500ContyCruiser BHPian Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: KA25 Posts: 610 Thanked: 771 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Found this on 9gag

4th December 2016, 15:07	#9639
landcruiser123 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Chicago Posts: 3,002 Thanked: 6,919 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread https://www.viu.com/en/listing/playlist-24122189 Enjoy your Sunday evening. You will understand the conversation if you don't follow cricket.

5th December 2016, 22:30	#9640
libranof1987 Team-BHP Support Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: All over! Posts: 8,173 Thanked: 20,586 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread This brings out all the many cliches our society has been known for. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/p...y/55812809.cms

7th December 2016, 06:19	#9641
msprabhakar BHPian Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Mumbai Posts: 265 Thanked: 89 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Easiest way to convert Black Money to White Money (Mathematically proven!) Let’s denote every unit of Black Money as -1 and every unit of White Money as +1 -1= i^2=i×i= √(-1) × √(-1)= √(-1 × -1)= √(+1)= +1

17th December 2016, 17:21	#9642
mazda4life BHPian Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Phoenix,AZ Posts: 506 Thanked: 569 Times	Towards the end of a wedding, the bride's father approached the groom and said, "Son, I received your last minute WhatsApp message asking me for your wedding gift. I found your request a bit strange, but I have to fulfill your wish regardless. Here's the packet of Four Underwear you asked for." The groom was startled, then looked at his message again... In a rage, he smashed his iPhone on the floor... "Bloody Autocorrect! It was supposed to be Ford Endeavour'!!" Last edited by theMAG : 18th December 2016 at 00:16. Reason: Maximum 2 smileys per post please.

18th December 2016, 19:16	#9643
ank_bhp BHPian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Delhi Posts: 92 Thanked: 234 Times	Found it scrolling through facebook, it usually happens!

19th December 2016, 16:52	#9644
mayankk Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: New Delhi Posts: 5,233 Thanked: 8,613 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread One of the funniest things I have read in a long time. https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-mo...aman?srid=ty5U Text: What is the most amazing thing you overheard because people didn't think you understood their language? Jason Yeaman While I was in Oman, I over heard a German speaking to a hotel employee (who was shining the golden fittings on a staircase railing) at the Al Bustian. It didn't seem like the employee understood Deutsch (I didn't know what the German was saying either) and the guy was visibly irritated. Probably not because of the language barrier issue, but because he seemed to be in a hurry and he was walking around humped over as if he was injured. The German guy finally had enough and screamed, “Nuq dah ooh pooch pa eh’!” (Spelling my be inaccurate ) , in desperation. That's when the employee grabbed him and dragged him around the corner. I stood in compete amazement at what just happened … baffled, as I contemplated the odds of this scenario: An Omani who didn't understand Deutsch and a German who (probably) didn't speak English or Arabic were just observed by an American -(myself) who can’t spell and barely speaks his own native English properly - as one asked the other, “Where is the bathroom!” In Klingon.

21st December 2016, 15:45	#9645
centaur BHPian Join Date: May 2009 Location: -- Posts: 897 Thanked: 1,171 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man meets his friend who has started wearing ear rings. He asks "Since when did u start wearing earrings?" Friend "ever since my wife found them in my car !!" Last edited by Rehaan : 22nd December 2016 at 15:25. Reason: Removed one joke. Please provide a translation in English when reposting. Thanks!