Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread

As received on WhatsApp:
Towards the end of a wedding, the bride's father approached the groom and said, "Son, I received your last minute WhatsApp message asking me for a wedding gift. I found your request a bit strange, but have to fulfil your wish regardless. Here's the packet of four underwears you asked for". The groom was startled, then looked at his message again and held his forehead, "Bloody Autocorrect! It was supposed to be 'Ford Endeavour'!!"

Father O'Grady was saying his good-byes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.

"What's bothering you, dear?" asked Father O'Grady.

"Oh, father, I've got terrible news." replied Mary. "My husband passed away last night."

"Oh, Mary!" said the good Father. "That's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

"Yes...," Mary replied sheepishly.

"Well?"

"He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun.'"

A poor man found a lamp on road.
He took it and rubbed it.
It blasted heavily.
He died on spot.

*Moral*
Not everything belongs to Alladin, some belong to Mujahiddin too.
:uncontrol:uncontrol
Circulated for public safety

Quote:

Originally Posted by pramodkumar (Post 4040858)

:uncontrol Jokes apart, Google is becoming increasingly unsafe, these things can actually put people in sticky situations very easily, especially at workplaces.

Pramod

I hear ya! Searching for strippers and cleavage (these are terms associated with fiber optics! Honest!) is a part of my job. Unfortunately Googleji tends to misunderstand my intentions every now and then. I wonder why? :D

Santa 📞 : Is it Flipkart??

Flipkart 📞 : Yes sir..

Santa 📞 : My wife has given birth to a baby boy.

Flipkart 📞 : So what??

Santa 📞 : It will be better If you provide me the cash offered by you.

Flipkart 📞 : Hey.. which cash?

Santa 📞 : Aren't you that company who told in the advertisement 'Cash on delivery is available' ????

Flipkart 📞 : 😁

A man is getting changed in the locker room at his Gym after a workout. The cell phone on the bench next to him rings so he answers it.
"Hello?"
"Hi Honey, guess what?" the woman who called asks. "The fur coat I've had my eye on for some time now is on sale. Would you mind if I picked it up"
"Not at all" he says.
"Also," she continues on "that Cadillac salesman called back. The one we looked at the other day will finally be in. Should I get it or are you still looking around?"
"Nope, let's splurge. Grab it!" he enthusiastically says.
"One last thing..." she paused "remember that beach house with the big porch we both adored? Well it's back on the market but this time for $1.5M. What do you want to do?"
He pauses and replies "Put in an offer at $1.4M and we'll see what happens!"
She shrieks with delight and hangs up and so does he, smiling.

He turns and looks at the now folded cell phone in his hand, holds it up and asks:
"Anyone know whose phone this is?"

I'd be curious to know if any passionate TBHPians are also like this: :D