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Old 23rd August 2014, 15:09   #8416
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Re: A learned treatise on human anatomy and the BHPian

Quote:
Originally Posted by Secretariat View Post
Different groups of people have their favourite part of the anatomy...
Ha ha, another corker of a post!
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Old 23rd August 2014, 15:48   #8417
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Re: The Official Joke thread

I'm sure we can make a honorary exception in conferring a premature Distinguished BHPian title (including all bells, whistles and sundry trinkets), or does making fun of Team-BHP's collective posterior obsession rather count as an automotive blasphemy worthy of an infraction?
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Old 23rd August 2014, 15:59   #8418
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Re: The Official Joke thread

Whoa! You are on a roll. And may be the mods can add another section "The official insults" thread on TBHP!

Great writing style coupled with 'fantastic' thoughts (no pun actually intended!) Keep up the good work.


Regards,
Saket
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Old 23rd August 2014, 16:05   #8419
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Re: The Official Joke thread

Another cracker of post.
I was trying to kill my time at office on a Saturday(compensating the "bandh for a cause"), here I am, Laughing out Loud at my desk.
Thanks Secretariat for making my Saturday.
BTW, my friday went on with another cracker below :

A Tata Nano breaks down on a roadside.

A man in a BMW 750Li... stops to help the Nano driver.
"I will tow you to the next service station, but if I drive too fast please flash your head-lights"

They start up slowly but only a km or so down the line a sporty Porsche car speeds past at 150km/hr....

The BMW drivers ego is hurt, he totally forgets about the little Nano towed behind & races after the Porsche...

Just as all 3 of them fly & tear through a speed trap, the traffic cop radios his HeadQuarters:

"Calling all stations :: You won't believe this, I just saw a BMW & a Porsche racing past at about 195km/hr, with a Tata-Nano right behind & madly flashing its lights to Overtake them..!?!?!

Source : FB Post
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Old 23rd August 2014, 16:13   #8420
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster View Post
A Tata Nano breaks down on a roadside.

A man in a BMW 750Li... stops to help the Nano driver.
"I will tow you to the next service station, but if I drive too fast please flash your head-lights"

They start up slowly but only a km or so down the line a sporty Porsche car speeds past at 150km/hr....

The BMW drivers ego is hurt, he totally forgets about the little Nano towed behind & races after the Porsche...

Just as all 3 of them fly & tear through a speed trap, the traffic cop radios his HeadQuarters:

"Calling all stations :: You won't believe this, I just saw a BMW & a Porsche racing past at about 195km/hr, with a Tata-Nano right behind & madly flashing its lights to Overtake them..!?!?!

Source : FB Post
You're hereby condored!

This was posted a couple of pages back and before that too
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Old 23rd August 2014, 17:15   #8421
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Re: A learned treatise on human anatomy and the BHPian

Quote:
Originally Posted by Secretariat View Post
I retreated with my tail between my legs!
Looks like you "chose poorly", as the Grail Knight in Indiana Jones & the last crusade would say!

I have a sneaking suspicion that you are John Cleese in disguise. Keep them coming!

Cheers,
Vikram
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Old 24th August 2014, 00:56   #8422
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Re: The Official Joke thread

How many of you agree to this?

The Official Joke thread-1920626_786816401346321_1792694168_n.jpg

Link: https://www.facebook.com/63821748287...type=3&theater

Thanks
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Old 24th August 2014, 02:12   #8423
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Re: The Official Joke thread

Certainly not.

My mother was one of the best drivers ever, and had a brilliant, intuitive knowledge of mechanics too. She was still driving until shortly before her death at 89.

My ex-GF was a better driver than me. Why? She had better powers of observation and anticipated more.

Another lady friend was one of my great driving gurus. Some of the things she taught me have helped me to stay alive.

My wife... Oh, wait... she doesn't drive and she doesn't seem to have any instinctive road sense, even as a pedestrian. But hey, that doesn't stop many people from doing it!

So... My wife. Maybe.
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Old 24th August 2014, 10:41   #8424
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thad E Ginathom View Post

My wife... Oh, wait... she doesn't drive and she doesn't seem to have any instinctive road sense, even as a pedestrian. But hey, that doesn't stop many people from doing it!

So... My wife. Maybe.
Thad, you know you put yourself in harms way by posting the above, right?
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Old 24th August 2014, 11:54   #8425
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Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thad E Ginathom View Post
Certainly not.

My mother was one of the best drivers ever, and had a brilliant, intuitive knowledge of mechanics too. She was still driving until shortly before her death at 89.

My ex-GF was a better driver than me. Why? She had better powers of observation and anticipated more.

Another lady friend was one of my great driving gurus. Some of the things she taught me have helped me to stay alive.

My wife... Oh, wait... she doesn't drive and she doesn't seem to have any instinctive road sense, even as a pedestrian. But hey, that doesn't stop many people from doing it!

So... My wife. Maybe.
Thad, in the first three cases you were speaking from the perspective of a son or a friend. You don't know what were the opinions of their respective husbands. But the last one was an opinion of true Husband. Doesn't that prove the statement?
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Old 24th August 2014, 15:47   #8426
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Re: The Official Joke thread

In the case of my mum, I'm aware of my dad's perspective!

IN the case of my wife, one thing that put her off going back to learning is the idea of damaging "my" car. She might drive one of her own --- but 5,000km/year is hardly enough to justify the one car, let alone two!

I had another GF, and we were never really happy with each other's driving. She was a feisty Italian-origin lady who was very instinctive: my driving has always been much more mental and calculating. We each used to make the other feel nervous. Bottom line: I think her accident count was lower than mine!

<must not let this thread get too serious >
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Old 25th August 2014, 08:23   #8427
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Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Secretariat View Post
Different groups of people have their favourite part of the anatomy......... I am now convinced that this mythical status is perhaps beyond my reach !
Well, the joke is, I had to run through Oxford to understand some of your statements !! Phew, where did you study mate ??
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster View Post
Another cracker of post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IronH4WK View Post
You're hereby condored!
This was posted a couple of pages back and before that too
And before and before and before that too !!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ad3952n View Post
How many of you agree to this?
Well, I had that expression once and only once in my life.
Wife pressed ACC instead of Brake and was about to ram into a jaywalking fat aunty in a bylane, while learning driving. I pulled the hand brake 5 mts away from the lady. She just walked without even having any idea how close she was to heaven !!! She didn't even look back upon hearing a screeching sound.
My wife quit driving that day. :-(
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Old 25th August 2014, 10:14   #8428
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Re: The Official Joke thread

God please help us!

The Official Joke thread-carhumorfunnyjokeroadstreetdrivedrivercrashgaragewomanwifemanhusbandwreckw630.jpg

A nightmare for the petrol-heads.

Link: http://www.vitamin-ha.com/wp-content...wreck-W630.jpg

Thanks
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Old 25th August 2014, 11:19   #8429
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Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster View Post
...A Tata Nano breaks down on a roadside.

...

"Calling all stations :: You won't believe this, I just saw a BMW & a Porsche racing past at about 195km/hr, with a Tata-Nano right behind & madly flashing its lights to Overtake them..!?!?!

Source : FB Post
Thank You!! This definitely made my day. Had never read this before and the guys all around (in office) were looking at me surprised; especially since my manager is sitting opposite to me with my tech lead solving some production issues!

Last edited by swiftnfurious : 25th August 2014 at 11:27.
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Old 25th August 2014, 23:25   #8430
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We've been there, done that

Posting it here before Suhaas does
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The Official Joke thread-1408988814962.jpg  

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