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Sometimes a casual google search can make your daylol:.

Found this on FB:

I typed MARRIED
But it was auto-corrected to MARTYRED
Then I typed SHAADI
It auto corrected to SHAHEED..

Damn,
These smart phones have gained too much intelligence...:

Self Explanatory!
Courtesy: Facebook

A man in his late 70s is at a pub with a friend of his, discussing their respective wives. "Mine still thinks she's a young woman." "If you want to know how young she is, you can try this little trick. When you get home, ask her what's for dinner from several distances. Start at 30 feet, then 25 feet, then 20, and so on. The sooner she hears you, the younger she is." So an hour later, the man arrives home and shouts, at a distance of 30 feet from his wife: "Honey, what's for dinner?" No answer. He goes a bit closer. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no answer. He goes closer and asks again, no response... When he is finally in the doorway of the kitchen., about 5 feet away from his wife, he yells, "Honey, what's for dinner?!" His wife turns around briskly and says, sounding irritated: "I've told you three times now, chicken and mushrooms!"

Saw this one on the net:

Aamir Khan is making a movie on AIR India strike.

Its called : "Saare Zaameen Par"

When will mahindra learn? This is from the 2012 Thar brochure:Frustrati

Old lady triggers deployment of airbag lol:.

Car Accident (old lady) Funny - YouTube

1. "four-door" and "coupe"
2. "the cruise control" and "without worrying about smashing" (unless it's in a place where local regulations allow adaptive cruise control and that too one that can prevent accidents by stopping the vehicle completely rather than simply lessen the impact by slowing down)
3. "excessive" and "luxury"
4. "powerful, better driver" and "with the car doing most of the work"

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.

On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, 'this is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?'

'Well, I can drop her off on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I go fishing.

:uncontrol that's a good one! Quite apt for the movie ;)

Attention Veggies

Join the AA, anyone?
Ambiguity Anonymous?

This would have helped in college/school, eh?
:)

Err, consecutive ones?

Anyway, slightly long, but for people with dogs, you will be VERY hard pressed to not laugh...

Profanities removed,hopefully all.

damn! that dog is annoying!! :D

hilarious though; thanks for sharing!

what a mystery