The Official Joke thread

karty_83 · 25th February 2012, 17:24

The difference between boys and girls

Klub Class · 25th February 2012, 18:14

Hahaha. So true, right?

The Official Joke thread-430983_2995094029243_1018952190_32333510_618893496_n.jpg

Irish · 25th February 2012, 20:22

A man goes to library and asks for a book: "Psycho The Rapist"

Librarian searches for half an hour and comes back, slaps him and says "You Stupid! It's Psychotherapist !!"

Cheers!
Irish

Patriot_Vishwas · 25th February 2012, 22:38

Element Name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Element Name: MAN

Symbol: XY

Atomic Weight: (180+/-50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
HIM:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Insert card
3. Enter PIN number and account
4. Take cash, receipt, and card
5. Leave

HER:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Check makeup in rearview mirror
3. Shut off engine
4. Put keys in purse
5. Get out of car because she's too far from machine
6. Hunt for card in purse
7. Insert card
8. Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it
9. Enter PIN number
10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes.
11. Hit "cancel"
12. Re-enter correct PIN number
12a. Hit "cancel"
12b. Call husband to get correct PIN number
13. Check balance
14. Look for envelope
15. Look in purse for pen
16. Make out deposit slip
17. Endorse checks
18. Make deposit
19. Study instructions
20. Make cash withdrawal
21. Get in car
22. Check makeup
23. Look for keys
24. Start car
25. Check makeup
26. Start pulling away
27. STOP
28. Back up to machine
29. Get out of car
30. Take card and receipt
31. Get back in car
32. Put card in wallet
33. Put receipt in checkbook
34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook
35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook
36. Check makeup
37. Put car in gear, reverse
38. Put car in drive
39. Drive away from machine
40. Travel 3 miles
41. Release parking brake

Irish · 25th February 2012, 23:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patriot_Vishwas

HIM:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Insert card
3. Enter PIN number and account
4. Take cash, receipt, and card
5. Leave

HER:
1. Pull up to ATM
41. Release parking brake

CONDORED! CONDORED! CONDORED! CONDORED!

It has been CONORED 4 Times because the same joke has been posted 4 times on this thread. Seems like this is ONE OF the MOST favourite and Popular joke among TeamBHPians.

Page 23
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post106905

Page 31
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post120013

Page 86
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post250832

Page 352
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ml#post2531024

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patriot_Vishwas

Element Name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

Partially CONDORED!!

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post306161

Cheers!
Irish

Scarlet_Rider · 26th February 2012, 14:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish

A man goes to library and asks for a book: "Psycho The Rapist"

Librarian searches for half an hour and comes back, slaps him and says "You Stupid! It's Psychotherapist !!"

On similar lines, here's another one.

A man goes to library and asks for a book entitled : "Under the Bridge with Dick and Harry."

After a lot of thinking and trying to find out what the book is about, the librarian figures out that it is : "Unabridged Dictionary."

theexperthand · 26th February 2012, 15:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjumrani

I'm sure everyone knows what this is about :P

Courtesy: Facebook

Condord - http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ml#post2691562

dhanushs · 26th February 2012, 15:50

A must read for techies!

Thank god its Solitare!!..

Scorcher · 26th February 2012, 16:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish

It's Psychotherapist !!

This is no joke, about a kilometer from my place, there lives a Psychotherapist and she had a signage near the gate as doctors would have, but the words are separated by the bolts that hold the sign and it reads, PSYCHO◦THE◦RAPIST

Shall try and post a pic asap

Warwithwheels · 26th February 2012, 16:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorcher

This is no joke, about a kilometer from my place, there lives a Psychotherapist and she had a signage near the gate as doctors would have, but the words are separated by the bolts that hold the sign and it reads, PSYCHO◦THE◦RAPIST

Shall try and post a pic asap

Am not gonna believe this unless you post the pic.

karanraheja · 26th February 2012, 20:02

Malinga's Action Decoded !

bluevolt · 26th February 2012, 21:38

Specially for Team-BHP Admin and Mods

The Official Joke thread-398424_314452835277758_120674037988973_888653_754730591_n.jpg

Sheel · 26th February 2012, 23:01

How true is that

Hilarious

Anand123 · 27th February 2012, 00:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patriot_Vishwas

HIM:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Insert card
3. Enter PIN number and account
4. Take cash, receipt, and card
5. Leave

HER:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Check makeup in rearview mirror

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish

CONDORED! CONDORED! CONDORED! CONDORED!

It has been CONORED 4 Times because the same joke has been posted 4 times on this thread. Seems like this is ONE OF the MOST favourite and Popular joke among TeamBHPians.

I remember reading this in my school magazine around 10 years back!! Was thinking about those good old days and feel so happy now. Thank You.

IronH4WK · 27th February 2012, 00:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluevolt

Specially for Team-BHP Admin and Mods

Now you're just plain pushing your luck! This post could have serious repercussions

25th February 2012, 17:24	#6706
karty_83 BHPian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Bangalore Posts: 399 Thanked: 166 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread The difference between boys and girls Attached Thumbnails

25th February 2012, 20:22	#6708
Irish BHPian Join Date: May 2009 Location: India Posts: 603 Thanked: 652 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread A man goes to library and asks for a book: "Psycho The Rapist" Librarian searches for half an hour and comes back, slaps him and says "You Stupid! It's Psychotherapist !!" Cheers! Irish Last edited by Irish : 25th February 2012 at 20:25.

25th February 2012, 22:38	#6709
Patriot_Vishwas BHPian Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Bengaluru Posts: 157 Thanked: 178 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Element Name: WOMAN Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (don't even go there) Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands. Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180+/-50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol. Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- HIM: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number and account 4. Take cash, receipt, and card 5. Leave HER: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Check makeup in rearview mirror 3. Shut off engine 4. Put keys in purse 5. Get out of car because she's too far from machine 6. Hunt for card in purse 7. Insert card 8. Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it 9. Enter PIN number 10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes. 11. Hit "cancel" 12. Re-enter correct PIN number 12a. Hit "cancel" 12b. Call husband to get correct PIN number 13. Check balance 14. Look for envelope 15. Look in purse for pen 16. Make out deposit slip 17. Endorse checks 18. Make deposit 19. Study instructions 20. Make cash withdrawal 21. Get in car 22. Check makeup 23. Look for keys 24. Start car 25. Check makeup 26. Start pulling away 27. STOP 28. Back up to machine 29. Get out of car 30. Take card and receipt 31. Get back in car 32. Put card in wallet 33. Put receipt in checkbook 34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook 35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook 36. Check makeup 37. Put car in gear, reverse 38. Put car in drive 39. Drive away from machine 40. Travel 3 miles 41. Release parking brake

26th February 2012, 15:50	#6713
dhanushs Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Chennai Posts: 4,399 Thanked: 10,964 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread A must read for techies! Thank god its Solitare!!..

26th February 2012, 20:02	#6716
karanraheja Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Coimbatore Posts: 1,961 Thanked: 436 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Malinga's Action Decoded ! Attached Thumbnails

25th February 2012, 18:14	#6707
Klub Class Senior - BHPian Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: KA17\|KL65\|KL41 Posts: 4,878 Thanked: 1,954 Times	Hahaha. So true, right?

26th February 2012, 21:38	#6717
bluevolt Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: New Delhi Posts: 3,275 Thanked: 3,476 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Specially for Team-BHP Admin and Mods

26th February 2012, 23:01	#6718
Sheel Team-BHP Support Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Purnea (Bihar) Posts: 9,910 Thanked: 14,959 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread How true is that Hilarious Attached Images