Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread
Team-BHP

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-   -   The Official Joke thread (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/et-cetera/2439-official-joke-thread-381.html)

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane
when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's
talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a
conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it
slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk
about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How
about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting
topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer
all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes
little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty,
and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do
you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's
intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel
qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shyt
__________________________

Bill Gates has resigned as the chairman of Microsoft after receiving a letter from Santa Singh.

Santa: Dear sir, I have some question to ask

1. The keypad alphabets are not in order. When will you launch the correct version?

2. There is start button but not stop?

3. We learn't MS Word when will you launch MS Sentence?

4. There is Recycle bin but no Rescooter bin, why?

5. Final question personal one, why your name is Gates even though you sell Windows?

__________________________________________________ ________

On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving through Wales.

At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysili ogogoch they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the waitress,

'Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?'

The girl leaned over and said, 'Burrr........gurrr........king'!

__________________________________________________ _____

The value of life increases only after death. For example, a live chicken costs Rs 90 and Chicken Tandoori Rs 280

__________________________________________________ _______

I was in the pub with the missus the other night and I said

"I love you"

She said "Is that you or the beer talking"?

"Its me talking to the beer"

__________________________________________________ ______

TAXI DRIVER

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.


For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"



The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "


The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

This 'shyt' is too good !

Found this pic on the net surfing to read some reviews on RA-one. Looks like a PS job, but funny nevertheless.

One of the shortest jokes in the world:

Two women were sitting together, quietly.

Got a call from Airtel asking for conversion from prepaid to postpaid.

He explained me the plan

After which i asked him, " what are the gprs charges p.m?"

To which he replied " very simple sir pay Rs 149 p.m and you will get 2 GB of INTERNAL MEMORY :uncontrol on your phone every Month"

Ahhh .... reminds me my initial days of computing :D

The Official Joke thread-caps.jpg

Santa make a call to his home.
Servant picked the phone.
Santa: Give phone to my wife.
Servant: She is sleeping with her husband.
Santa: But I am her husband.
Servant: Now what to do?
Santa: Kill both of them.
After killing Servant: What to do with dead bodies?
Santa: Put them in our swimming pool.
Servant: But there is no swimming pool in home.
Santa: Sorry wrong Number

This is weird. Try typing "I want to become a" (without quotes) in Google and look at the first suggestion.

Rajni strikes again :

This must have been torture for passengers but is hillarious otherwise!

Airline passengers asked to pay for fuel en-route - Video | The Times of India

What sane organization does that?!

Imagine if BMTC Volvo conductors were the ones collecting the fuel charges - gimme change or I'll throw you out of the moving.. err.. airplane! :D

A Psychology report.

When 2 couples come face to face - WIVES look at each other’s sarees and HUSBANDS look at each other’s wife!


Height of Social Networking.

Teacher: Where is your homework?

Boy: Madam, please check in FACEBOOK. I have uploaded a copy of it & tagged you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KA18 (Post 2581792)
This is weird. Try typing "I want to become a" (without quotes) in Google and look at the first suggestion.

You know google search results are customized, right? Have you been vampiring a lot these days?

Men socialize by insulting each other, but they don't really mean it.
Women socialize by complimenting each other, but they too don't mean it either !

Don't think condorring will be called for:

Ra.one is making huge money!!



Entry is free.
Exit is 500 bucks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by vivekiny2k (Post 2582280)
You know google search results are customized, right? Have you been vampiring a lot these days?

I don't know about the customized part, but lot others have got the same results on Firefox and it seems that the suggestions change from browser to browser, even on the same machine.

So, the joke's on Google!


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