Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread

Once a Smoker was smoking at the airport.

A gentleman came & asked him. How much do you smoke a day?

Smoker:- Why are you asking such question?

Gentleman :-If you had collected that money instead of smoking, the plane which is in front of you, would have been yours.

Smoker asked that gentleman:- Do you smoke? Gentleman:-No.

Smoker asked:- does that plane belong to you?

Gentleman: - No.

Smoker:-Thanks for your kind advice, but that plane is mine

[Smoker'sName-Vijay Mallya].

Moral of the Story:-Unnecessary advice is injurious to health…

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unknownsatan (Post 2513111)

So, after 'injuring' livers, he plans to move on to lungs, eh?:D

Dear Grand-son,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just came from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO! What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people
. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!! Will write again soon.

Love,
Grandma

Teacher Writes on Board

2 x 2 x 6 /(8+21) 6x9

And calls a student to board saying "solve the problem!"

.

.

.
.

.

.

Student got up and erased the board!!!!!!!!!!

Problem solved:D

__________________________________________________ __

Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge?
Student: Facebooking Karunga !!

T: Nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge?
S: Facebook pages ka Admin banunga
...
T: Ohoo, I mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge?
S: Facebook Admin Rights

T: IDIOT! Mera mtlb bade ho kar mummy papa k liye kya karoge?
S: Facebook par Page bnaunga 'HI MOM & DAD'

T: Stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte h ?
S: Mere Facebook ka Password

T: Oh God,tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?
S: Facebook,but never Face ur Book :D

One night 4 college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to The Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the Dean.. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test... They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.

Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ......... .. (2 MARKS)

Q.2. Which tire burst? (98 MARKS)
A) Front Left
B) Front Right
C) Back Left
D) Back Right.....!! !

True story from IIT Bombay ...Batch 1992

Quote:

Originally Posted by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR (Post 2514764)

dre@ms - probably true story, but it was reported in the Reader's Digest sometime in 1980s.

Yup, and considering that these guys NEVER concur on which tyre, they keep flunking, and bouncing around trying to get an education at harvard, then yale, then IITs, a few IIMs etc etc...:)
They should have decided after the first flunk that, "rear right, ok?rear right!!"

By the by, did anyone scream "copycat" when they saw the new Laura VRS print ad today?
compared to Suzuki's "butter, meet hot knife" advert?
I did..

5 things Indian movies taught us:

1.Atleast one of the identical twins born is evil..!!

2.While defusing a bomb,don't worry which wire to cut,you will always choose the right one!!

3.A hero will show no pain while getting beaten up but will show pain when a woman is trying to clean his wound..!!

4.A police can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty..!!

5.(Best of all)If you decide to start dancing on street,everyone you meet will know the step..!!:D