Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otomobil (Post 2038741)

Dear Partial Gadget Freaks !

Apple Stormed the Phone Market with it's iphone, In future it's going to be a Pomogranate i guess,

(Yes, You have read it right ! Stop Blinking your eyes.

See all for yourself at Pomegranate | NS08

I still cannot believe that this would be possible or already it exists. But interesting

Disclaimer: i am not promoting this product,Nor Related to it.

LOL Is it april 1st today?

The funniest part in Hindi movies is the fact that when the brakes fail the car is completely out of control & there seems to be absolutely no way in which the car can be stopped besides ramming it into a barrier (read trees). The hero usually acclerates harder in this case instead of reducing speed by going into lower gears.
Also if the car flies off the cliff, the hero is sure to have ejected himself out before the car flies off, but the villain somehow never seems to do that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammyboy (Post 2025238)

Was just going through Yahoo news and there was an article which mentioned that nothing could change the condition of such people unless the people themselves rise against such callousness of the governments.
Best part about it was the URL of the article :) So appropriate

Yeah thats true and those kind of URLs don't open in our college.
Anusha - because it has 'anus' in it
Georgia Tech University- because it has 'orgi' in it
Akshita -because it has '****' in it
and many these kind of funny things.
They plainly have a set of keywords and any search or query having that keyword is banned.:Frustrati

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage," Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one... So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.....*Doctor said : " Try to do it when the Engine is RUNNING "

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Bubba:
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad:
For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.Love, Bubba

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local Police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad:
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances.Love, Bubba

A Taxi passanger Tapped
The Driver On The ShoulderTo Ask Him A Question...
...
The Driver Screamed, Lost
Control Of The Car,Nearly
Hit A Bus, Went Up On The
Footpath & Stopped
Centimeters From A Shop
Window ...

For A Second Everything
Went Quiet In The Cab
Then The Driver Said:
"Look Mate, Don't Ever Do
That Again, You Scared Me"

The Passenger Apologized &
Said: "I Didn't Realize That A
Little Tap Would Scare You
So Much"

Driver Replied:
"Sorry It's Not Your Fault.
Today Is My First Day As A
Cab Driver, I Have Been
Driving A Van Carrying Dead
Bodies For The Last 25 Years..."

Some facts about Rajnikanth:-

Rajnikanth doesnt move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajnikanth.
Rajnikanth doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
When you say No One is Perfect, Rajnikanth takes it as a personal insult.
In an average living room there are 1242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Rajnikanth can divide by zero and add zero to zero to make a billion.
Rajnikanth can judge a book by its cover.
Rajnikanth can leave an entire message before the beep.
Rajnikanth can make onions cry.
Rajjnikanth knows Victoris's secret.
Rajnikanth once got into a knife fight. The knife lost.
Rajnikanth doesnt need an iPhone. He can talk to himself.
Rajnikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
Rajnikanth doesnt breathe air. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
Rajnikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and tap himself on the shoulder.
Evolution is a myth. We exist because Rajnikanth has allowed us to.
Rajnikanth doesnt own a microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.
When Rajnikanth is asked to kill someone he doesnt know he pulls the trigger and tells the bullet to go find the target.
Why doesnt Rajnikanth show up on Google? You dont find Rajnikanth. Rajnikanth finds you.
Rajnikanth can divide 22/7 to a whole number.
When Rajnikanth hits you even Google won't be able to find you.
Only a blind man sees Rajnikanth as bald. Even the sightless love his locks.
Rajnikanth's email id. gmail@rajnikanth.com
Even if Google fails to find you, Rajnikanth will!
When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
Rajinikanth's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Rajnikanth!
Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
Rajnikanth has counted to infinity - twice!

Source : Pritish Nandy's Twitter (Pritish Nandy (PritishNandy) on Twitter)

PS : I've got nothing against Rajnikanth or his fans. Haven't watched any of his movies. Just found these funny.