Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread

For all Tech Support Guys,

Q: How many Tech Support executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

Q: How many Tech support staff does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to ask "What is the registration number of the light bulb?", one to ask "Have you tried rebooting it?", another to ask "Have you tried reinstalling it?" and the last one to say "It must be your hardware because the light bulb in our office works fine..."

Q: How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: None. Thats a hardware problem.
A2: One, but if he changes it, the whole building will probably fall down.
A3: Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.

Q: How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 472.One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write
WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to
write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...

Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out,
and figure out what,exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work
smarter, not harder.

Q: How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The light bulb works fine on the system in my office . . .

Q: How many MS engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, Mr Gates will just redefine Darkness(tm) as the new industry
standard.

Crazy not equal to Stupid.

One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH (Institute of mental health). He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down.

When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain.. As he can't fish the bolts out, he started to panic.

One patient happened to walk past and asked the driver what happened. The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do; he told the patient the whole incident.

The patient laughed at him & said "can't even fix such a simple problem.... no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..."

Here's what you can do, take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and fix it onto this tyre. Then drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones, easy as that" The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why are you here at the IMH?"

Patient replied: "Hello, I stay here because I'm crazy not Stupid!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by muralisk (Post 1405463)

Crazy not equal to Stupid.
Here's what you can do, take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and fix it onto this tyre. Then drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones, easy as that" The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why are you here at the IMH?"

this was shown in movie "spanish connection"/"meals on wheels" produced in 1984.

Ok, I searched, did not find, so here goes ctl+c - ctl+p from a mail forward.

Patni chalisa is hilarious right from the outset,

but Yeh to maanana heee hoga ki in life pati RESTS
Bcos the patni zheelaavs Life's hardships and all tests,
She may nag and irritate at times, be a nuisance, be a pest.
but YET one's better half Patni is truly the BEST

GIFT of GOD, to any Pati, for gala Feast and Fest
To share his joys and tears and snuggle to the warmth of his home Nest

PATNI CHALISA (LOL HA HA)

Namo-namo patni maharani,
tumhari mahima koi na jani.... || 1 ||

Hamne samjha tum abla ho,
par tumto sabse badi bala ho... || 2 ||

Jis din haath me belana aawe,
Uss din PATI khub chillave.... || 3 ||

Saare bed pe PATNI sove,
PATI baith farsh par rove.... || 4 ||

Tumse hi ghar MATHURA KASI,
aur tumse hi ghar Satyanasi... . || 5 ||

PATNI CHALISA jo nar gave,
sab sukh chhod param dukh paave..... || 6 ||

with no offence to all our respected ladies.

Ok folks, got a load of science jokes, here they are...

Rene Descartes sits down for lunch at a Parisian restaurant. The waitress asks for his order. He orders a hamburger.
The waitress inquires, "Would you like fries with that? " Descartes says, "I think not," ...and instantly disappears.

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Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg says, "No, but I know where I am."

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A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, 'How much for a beer?' The bartender looks at him, and says 'For you, no charge.'

Quote:

Originally Posted by v1p3r (Post 1408031)

Koi samjha do please !!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by neofromcapone (Post 1408252)

@ eddy - RenÃ© Descartes - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia :His most famous statement is "Cogito ergo sum" (French: Je pense, donc je suis; English: I think, therefore I am; or I am thinking, therefore I exist). Hope that helps

@V1p3r, very nice.

Thanks, now I can chuckle :D