Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread
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-   -   The Official Joke thread (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/et-cetera/2439-official-joke-thread-203.html)

Quote:

Originally Posted by neoranjit (Post 907401)
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy birthday!", and possibly have a present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy birthday". I thought... well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids ate breakfast and didn't say a word.

.........
. On the couch...


Naked...

Ranjit,

When i finished the first paragraph of your post, I thought you were talking about a real life incident. Only later did i realize that you wouldn't be discussing these things in public lol:

Quote:

neoranjit : Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning.

. And I just sat there... On the couch... Naked...
I suspect the gang was singing something on the lines of "Many Happy Returns ..." and not "Happy Birthday".

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/112026-post410.html

He seems to end up celebrating his b'days in the same fashion every couple of years ! Or may be it's his secretaries.

Sign over a Gynecologist' s Office:
'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
************ ********* *****
In a Podiatrist's office:
Time Wounds All Heels.
************ ********* *****
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals--on Wheels
************ ********* *****
At a Proctologist' s door:
To expedite your visit, please back in.
************ ********* *****
On a Plumber's truck:
We Repair What Your Husband Fixed
************ ********* *****
On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip; Call your plumber!
************ ********* *****
On a Church's Billboard:
7 days without God makes one weak.
************ ********* *****
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
Invite us to your next blowout.
************ ********* *****
At a Towing company:
We don't charge an arm and a leg: We want tows.
************ ********* *****
On an Electrician' s truck:
Let Us Remove Your Shorts
************ ********* *****
In a Nonsmoking Area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
************ ********* *****
On a Maternity Room door:
Push. Push. Push!
************ ********* *****
At an Optometrist' s Office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
************ ********* *****
On a Taxidermist' s window:
We really know our stuff.
************ ********* *****
On a Fence:
Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive!
************ ********* *****
At a Car Dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.
************ ********* *****
Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary; We hear you coming.
************ ********* *****
In a Veterinarian' s waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
************ ********* *****
At the Electric Company
We will be de-lighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be.
************ ********* *****
In a Restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in
and get fed up.
************ ********* *****
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
Drive carefully! We'll wait...
************ ********* *****
At a Propane Filling Station:
Thank heaven for little grills.
************ ********* *****
And don't forget the sign at a
CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
Best place in town to take a leak
************ ********* *
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
CAUTION - This Truck is Full of Political Promises

@muneemmk, see this link:-

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/introd...-kuttapan.html


We have already seen that.

A SHORT STORY


Ramya was about to leave office after finishing her work. She got a call
from her husband Karthi,

RAMYA(R): "Hello, yes Karthi".

Yes, I can, I need your password"
(K): "jeni22091980"
(R): "Ok fine"


She takes the print out and logs out. Some thought struck her mind now.
JENI happens to be his college mate. Hmmm...


She decides not to discuss this with Karthi. She simply opens her mail box
and changes the password from "mohan143" to "karthiramya" and leaves for
home!


MORAL OF THE STORY: Change your password! NOW!

Quote:

Originally Posted by jkdas (Post 910066)

MORAL OF THE STORY: Change your password! NOW!

Haha :uncontrol Good one jkdas!

I wonder if Jeni and Mohan are together now

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
NOW --------
Enough of that crap . . .
The donkey later came back and bit the $hit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong and try to cover your a$$, it always comes back to bite you.

What was her old password? jeni22091980? or mohan143?
Quote:

Originally Posted by jkdas (Post 910066)
> (K): "jeni22091980"
> She simply opens her mail box
and changes the password from "mohan143" to "karthiramya" and leaves for
home!


We've all seen those windshield stickers saying "Doctor", "Engineer" "Advocate" etc.

The Official Joke thread-img_0049_2.jpg


P.S. No offence meant to the company.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dicorex4x4 (Post 911142)
We've all seen those windshield stickers saying "Doctor", "Engineer" "Advocate" etc.

It also has a sticker "hooker" below the windshield. This kind of marketing is pretty innovative. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by diabloo (Post 911116)
What was her old password? jeni22091980? or mohan143?

Her pass was mohan143. She changes that to karthiramya, goes home and then confronts her husband.

Smart :Shockked:

santa and banta were feeling happy
.
.
.
happy got disgusted and went away

Quote:

Originally Posted by srijit (Post 911620)
Her pass was mohan143. She changes that to karthiramya, goes home and then confronts her husband.

Smart :Shockked:

Now I understood. Before that it was full bouncer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bass&Trouble (Post 911690)
Now I understood. Before that it was full bouncer.

Same here. And I thought I was the only one who didnt get the joke.:D

Quote:

Originally Posted by n_aditya (Post 911697)
Same here. And I thought I was the only one who didnt get the joke.:D


I still haven't got it.lol:


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