Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread

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- - The Official Joke thread (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/et-cetera/2439-official-joke-thread-175.html)

Quote:

Originally Posted by abhilash_iv (Post 743980)

Check the same person's review on Porche Boxster.
PORSCHE BOXSTER Review

***..this is so damn hilarious..lol:. This guy defenitely takes the cake..i am just amazed at the confidence with which he is Bulls**ing. One of the most hilarious stuff i have ever come across..just cant stop laughing..the audi and porshe guys otta see this....

Quote:

Originally Posted by normally_crazy (Post 760076)

Once X asked Y, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"
Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."
X asked, "Can you explain?"
Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."
Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"
Y said," Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etcare decided by my wife. I just agree to it"
X asked, "Then what is your role?"
Y said," My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran , whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe , whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkarshould retire etc etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects toany of these"

@NC:that was too hillarious man,many of my office collegues are laughing over it..:uncontrol

@Mission Safari - Nice cartoons.
Also, heres my take on Alcohol.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cooldude1988765 (Post 760542)

Mr. Appa reddy lol:.

One of his other famous quotes. "rey, rey, both of you three get out now, now i say "

my god, our physics lecturer during our engineering first year also used to say the same thing:
"both of you three get out of the class"
also:
"close the doors of the windows because I have winter in my nose"
lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by kkr2k2 (Post 768309)

Do you make it point to go to him in HYderabad summer, hilarious one Raj.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sreenivass (Post 768317)

Do you make it point to go to him in HYderabad summer, hilarious one Raj.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kkr2k2 (Post 768309)

there were many such things, but i forgot. May be any of our batchmates or juniora are around, they might add them here.

An actual conversation at a medical shop :

A guy walks up to the counter of a medical shop

Guy : Do you have uh....Durex Ultrathin condoms?

Shop Owner : Let me check...

2 minutes later : No, we have Performax, Comfort, Blah blah...

Guy : Can you please check for Ultrathin again?

Shop Owner : No sir, I've already checked.

Guy : Hmmm...Let me think then....OK, can I have a strip of Gelusil then..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mack (Post 769084)

An actual conversation at a medical shop :
..

What a Joke!!!

rather,

What??? a joke???

This is the second time i missed something by a mile on this thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kkr2k2 (Post 769234)

What a Joke!!!

rather,

What??? a joke???

This is the second time i missed something by a mile on this thread.

Me too. Maybe its a riddle. What has heartburn and contraceptive in common?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mack (Post 769084)

sorry..dont seem to be getting the joke here........

<quote>An actual conversation at a medical shop :<\quote>

I guess this was just one of those things that happens between strangers.
and seems very funny at that point of time.

put yourself in the shoes of a person standing in a pharmacy.

you see a guy come in, ask for a condom, not getting what he specifically wants opts for a strip of gelusil.

at that moment I would have laughed too, but I repeat at that moment.

This happened couple of years ago. I used to play cricket on Saturday morning with a bunch of friends. On one Saturday when we finished the game one of my friends told that he lost his bike key. We all started searching all over the ground .. gave up after 30 mins and decided to get a duplicate key. While we walked to the parking lot the guy who lost the key realized something.. guess what?

He didn't bring his bike to the ground . We all were like fuming at him but finally laughed the incident out and we still make fun of him with that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mission_Safari (Post 769541)

Something similar to your anecdote. I rib myself as "Height of forgetfulness".

When i was in my 10+2, used to ride a kinetic honda and i was typically the errand boy at home. I took the bike to a shop and came back home walking ( close to home shop) and then after sometime, when i wanted to go out again i step out of house and realize the bike is not parked outside my home and raise a hue and cry and told my parents its stolen and about to report it to police that it dawned on me that i left it at the shop.lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by mobike008 (Post 769552)

Another similar one from my end.

My colleague once took his activa to a super market and walked back forgetting it. Then he came to his apartment and noticed that his bike is not in the usual place when he was about to leave to office. He called the security and shouted at them assuming that his bike is stolen. Then the issue was escalated to the builder who was also taking care of the maintenance of the apartement. They all then decided to go to the police station to lodge the complaint. On the way to the station he noticed his bike in the supermarket and the rest is history. People who witnessed the incident in his apartment thought this guy is absent minded/mentally not so correct and are treating him that way until now.
lol:

Also he made sure that no one in the office knows about this , but the news leaked .

I saw this first time in 2004, still makes me laugh. \for those who haven't seen it yet.

Quote:

Possibly the funniest story in a long while,this is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in
the newsletter of the American Insurance Journal. This is a true story.

Had this guy died,he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.

Dear Sir:

"I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident
report form.I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident.You asked for a fuller explanation and I
trust the following details will be sufficient.
I was alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work,I found that I had some
bricks left over which,when weighed later,were found to be slightly more than 500 lbs.Rather than carry the
bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley,which was attached to the
side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level,I went up to the roof,swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into
it.Then I went down and untied the rope,holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form, that I weigh 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly,I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let
go of the rope.Needless to say,I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor,I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally
impressive speed.This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed
in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed down slightly,I continued my rapid ascent,not stopping until the fingers on my right hand were two
knuckles deep into the pulley.Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to
hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.

At approximately the same time,however,the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the
barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks,that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs.
I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine,I began a rapid descent,downthe side of the building.In the vicinity of the third
floor,I met the barrel coming up.This accounts for the two fractured ankles,broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly.The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my
injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately,only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report,however,as I lay there on the pile of bricks,in pain, unable to move, I again lost
my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel
beginning its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your questions.