Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread

here is something that is all over the internet:

Quote:

k. I didn't want to mention it but I was thinking about turbo charging my Vette. I got to thinking about it and how in efficient even turbos are (compressor efficiencies of about 80% at best).

Since a turbo's function is to pressurize incoming air and force it into the upper motor, and turbos are driven by high pressure exhaust gas created from the combustion process, couldn't I just bypass the turbo altogether and route my headers back into the throttle bodies?

Since I have CFI, I could balance the DEI (direct exhaust injection as I just coined it) by feeding one header into each throttle body. Yes, the charge air wouldn’t be that cold, but it would be under a hell of a lot more pressure.

I attached a quick sketch below:

There are still a few things I need to work out:
1) How do I get the CFI aircleaner to fit in a way that hides this plumbing?
2) Does anyone make a V-band clamp that will bolt an exhaust header to a CFI throttle body?
3) What pinion angle should I use in my rear-end? I’m sure there will be a noticeable difference in torque output.

What do you guys think?

Nebraska GM Modern Muscle :: View topic - Turbo Questions

(Sorry if posted already)

School:
A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance :
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage:
It ' s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students
without passing through ' the minds of either ' .
Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father:
A banker provided by nature.
Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest.... except that he got caught.
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid replies, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."

The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

Sawaariya is one long song with some breaks for dialog. And by dialog
I mean girly giggling by the chic and some punch-me-in-the-face
expressions accompanied by pig-like grunting by the hero. One wonders
if all the actors are the props and the set is the real star in this
movie. I came really close to concluding that the
bridge-over-the-fake-river is the central star of the movie, because
everyone of the other actors looks like they were made of rock. And
the rocks had moss growing over them. And the rocks were painted blue

To say Saawariya is a crappy movie would not be correct. Horrendously
Ridiculous comes close, but it doesn't really capture the essence of
the absurdity that this movie is. After watching this movie I felt
like tying up Sanjay Leela Bansali alone in a room, forcing him to
watch a cockroach chase a spider round-and-round a water fountain for
3 hours. That too in blue light. Because seriously, that's what this
entire movie is. It's two grossly untalented kids, who probably got
kicked out of college for lack of attendance and ended up on this set
to spend the rest of the day. And for the love of God, I can't figure
out why the whole movie is in blue! Maybe the director was trying to
get every frame half-black half-blue so that the WinZip compression
would work better to save some electrons, what with all the global
warming and all. That's the best explanation I could come up with,
because nothing else can explain the lack of daylight (or plain light,
for that matter) in this movie.

PPPS : I liked the review better than the movie… ;-)

Read on guys... for the ones who have to travel through train
The mega polis of Mumbai holds many a challenge for the 'rookie' who lands here unaware of the hurdles and challenges that he or she might have
A recent incident saw one such hapless victim falling prey to the over enthusiastic nature of Bombay's local train commuters. Our hero, a man from Pune, wanted to go to Matunga, but as luck and trains would have it, boarded a fast train not halting at his destination. He panicked on realising his mistake but by then the local had started moving. On seeing his plight, a sympathetic co-passenger decided to come to his rescue. It seemed that he had been commuting by that particular train (6:03pm Kasara Fast) for the past 6 years and had noticed that the train always slowed down just before Matunga station and crawled at a snail's pace while passing through it. He told the man to jump out of the running train as it slowed down and that with a little bit of fleet-footedness, he would make it safely on terra firma. However, knowing the man's inexperience, he added some words of caution: "Keep running the moment you jump or you'll fall. Just keep running".
He stressed the word "running" lest the man not know the laws of motion. The train did slow down just before Matunga station and at the prompting of his mentor, our hero jumped out of the train and started running as if all hell had broken loose. What he didn't realise, of course, was that he was running parallel to the train instead of running away from it. Meanwhile, the train slowed down further, so that the man was running faster than the train. In the process, he reached the door of the next compartment and the footboard commuters there pulled him in thinking he was trying to board the train! To his agony, the train picked up speed and sped past Matunga and his new co-passengers started to congratulate him on how lucky he had been, until he told them that they had actually undone what he had done with great difficulty.

Those standing at the door of his "ex-compartment" had witnessed the whole drama and just couldn't stop laughing at the poor man's situation, while he grinned sheepishly.