The Official Joke thread

hkanitkar · 17th December 2006, 00:38

A sardaar goes to doctor and tells him : Doctor saahb, i have loose motions -- kuch dawaai do.
Doctor : O paaji, aapne Nimbu try kiya ???
Sardaar : Haanji, magar woh nikalne ke baad phir se chalu ho jaate hai ji.. !

aZa · 17th December 2006, 09:12

A few funny pics

cheers

Godfather · 18th December 2006, 08:14

NIce Pics... What is the source bro??

Godfather

aZa · 18th December 2006, 11:15

All from forward mails

twister · 20th December 2006, 01:48

[COLOR=#800080]yashveen[/COLOR] 11/8/2006 9:44 AM
1300hp..easy to get!!!
Step 1: get a LP-640
Step 2: Buy 2 Garrett GT20..producing bout 20PSI on each turbo!!!
Step 3: Remap ECU, Reinforce ur Rear end...
Step 4: Kill everyone at the lights!!!!!!!!!!!

1300hp is simple...if surf round da internet..ppl have Nissan Skylines outputting 2500hp(street legal)..2500hp from 2.6ltrs!!!

HA HA HA ...... orkut communities ...pshhhh

v1p3r · 20th December 2006, 02:03

I'd like to see GT20s producing 20 psi on an LP640, good enough for 1300 hp.

iraghava · 20th December 2006, 14:38

And I would like to see the 2500bhp street-legal Skylines @ 1000bhp per litre

iraghava · 20th December 2006, 19:05

One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Claus was angry that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house. And top it all off, she had him and a diet that never suited Santa to begin with. So through all of this, Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax.

When he got there, Miss Claus was still angry and wouldn't let down. As Santa tried to calm her down, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He, also, was quite upset and said the reindeer were sick and tired of Santa's failing to upgrade to a newer lightweight sleigh and thatthey were joining the elves walkout. Santa slammed the door and threatened, "The next person who knocks on that door is gonna get it!"

Two seconds later, there was a knock on the door. Santa flung the door open and there stood a tiny little angel. The angel had been searching for the perfect Christmas tree for Santa's house all day long, until it found the perfect one. The little angel asked, "Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?"

And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began.

kkr2k2 · 21st December 2006, 00:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by iraghava

One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Claus was angry that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house. And top it all off, she had him and a diet that never suited Santa to begin with. So through all of this, Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax.

When he got there, Miss Claus was still angry and wouldn't let down. As Santa tried to calm her down, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He, also, was quite upset and said the reindeer were sick and tired of Santa's failing to upgrade to a newer lightweight sleigh and thatthey were joining the elves walkout. Santa slammed the door and threatened, "The next person who knocks on that door is gonna get it!"

Two seconds later, there was a knock on the door. Santa flung the door open and there stood a tiny little angel. The angel had been searching for the perfect Christmas tree for Santa's house all day long, until it found the perfect one. The little angel asked, "Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?"

And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began.

nice story,
but where does it fit into in this thread.....

Steeroid · 21st December 2006, 00:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by kkr2k2

nice story,
but where does it fit into in this thread.....

You just dont get it, do ya?

rags!!!

faithless_1984 · 21st December 2006, 00:33

@kkr2k2- concentrate on the following lines buddy, hope you will get the joke now.!!

Quote:

The little angel asked, "Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?"

And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began.

iraghava · 21st December 2006, 01:07

kkr2k2 - Seems like it's been explained to you pretty well by now

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steeroid

rags!!!

Thank you sir!!!!!

mohit · 21st December 2006, 01:49

Rags this is hilarious! One of the best ones to date!

v1p3r · 21st December 2006, 02:19

Gawd rags, that was out of this world!

elf · 21st December 2006, 04:55

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.

The pump attendant, knowing nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing supremo is.
Top of the mornin' to yer, sor" says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.
As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are dose?, asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my b@ll$ on when I'm driving", says Tiger.

"Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "BMW tinks of everyting!"

20th December 2006, 19:05	#1658
iraghava Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Bhaiyyaland Posts: 7,997 Thanked: 281 Times View My Garage	How the Angel Got On The Tree... One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Claus was angry that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house. And top it all off, she had him and a diet that never suited Santa to begin with. So through all of this, Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax. When he got there, Miss Claus was still angry and wouldn't let down. As Santa tried to calm her down, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He, also, was quite upset and said the reindeer were sick and tired of Santa's failing to upgrade to a newer lightweight sleigh and thatthey were joining the elves walkout. Santa slammed the door and threatened, "The next person who knocks on that door is gonna get it!" Two seconds later, there was a knock on the door. Santa flung the door open and there stood a tiny little angel. The angel had been searching for the perfect Christmas tree for Santa's house all day long, until it found the perfect one. The little angel asked, "Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?" And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began.

21st December 2006, 04:55	#1665
elf BANNED Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Bombay Posts: 1,035 Thanked: 16 Times View My Garage	German Engineering... On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, knowing nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing supremo is. Top of the mornin' to yer, sor" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are dose?, asks the attendant. "They're called tees" replies Tiger. "Well, what on god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman. "They're for resting my b@ll$ on when I'm driving", says Tiger. "Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "BMW tinks of everyting!" Last edited by elf : 21st December 2006 at 04:57.

17th December 2006, 00:38	#1651
hkanitkar BHPian Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: pune Posts: 668 Thanked: 110 Times View My Garage	A sardaar goes to doctor and tells him : Doctor saahb, i have loose motions -- kuch dawaai do. Doctor : O paaji, aapne Nimbu try kiya ??? Sardaar : Haanji, magar woh nikalne ke baad phir se chalu ho jaate hai ji.. !

17th December 2006, 09:12	#1652
aZa Senior - BHPian Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Noida / Delhi Posts: 1,595 Thanked: 25 Times View My Garage	A few funny pics cheers

18th December 2006, 08:14	#1653
Godfather Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Bangalore / Atlanta Posts: 1,387 Thanked: 71 Times View My Garage	NIce Pics... What is the source bro?? Godfather

18th December 2006, 11:15	#1654
aZa Senior - BHPian Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Noida / Delhi Posts: 1,595 Thanked: 25 Times View My Garage	All from forward mails

20th December 2006, 01:48	#1655
twister BANNED Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: new delhi Posts: 143 Thanked: 12 Times	[COLOR=#800080]yashveen[/COLOR] 11/8/2006 9:44 AM 1300hp..easy to get!!! Step 1: get a LP-640 Step 2: Buy 2 Garrett GT20..producing bout 20PSI on each turbo!!! Step 3: Remap ECU, Reinforce ur Rear end... Step 4: Kill everyone at the lights!!!!!!!!!!! 1300hp is simple...if surf round da internet..ppl have Nissan Skylines outputting 2500hp(street legal)..2500hp from 2.6ltrs!!! HA HA HA ...... orkut communities ...pshhhh

20th December 2006, 02:03	#1656
v1p3r Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: BLR / DXB / LON Posts: 5,359 Thanked: 7,449 Times View My Garage	I'd like to see GT20s producing 20 psi on an LP640, good enough for 1300 hp.

20th December 2006, 14:38	#1657
iraghava Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Bhaiyyaland Posts: 7,997 Thanked: 281 Times View My Garage	And I would like to see the 2500bhp street-legal Skylines @ 1000bhp per litre

21st December 2006, 01:49	#1663
mohit BHPian Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Toronto / Kurukshetra Posts: 677 Thanked: 168 Times	Rags this is hilarious! One of the best ones to date!

21st December 2006, 02:19	#1664
v1p3r Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: BLR / DXB / LON Posts: 5,359 Thanked: 7,449 Times View My Garage	Gawd rags, that was out of this world!