How to have a successful and enjoyable meet

Sam Kapasi · 24th October 2006, 14:52

Hi there,

There are many of you that want to have a meet in your city and I just thought, I'd make it easier for you to organise one and enjoy it.
I've been for many team-BHP meets in many cities and here's a few things i think will help.

1. Don't expect too much

Sometimes you look at successful meet pictures from other cities and want to have a meet like that. It may not happen. Internet communities have a way of appearing extremely enthusiastic while on the thread. The hype builds up and when the meet happens, it is often below expectation. Go with an open mind. You may enjoy yourself. If you do, that's great. Don't expect too much. That way you won't be disappointed.

2. Organize - It's OK to be led

Let one or two active members who have the time and the inclination make the plan. Too many cooks will spoil the broth. Remember, by facilitating and co-operating with them, you will do more for this meet than by leading. Let 1 or 2 members who have good internal co-ordination work on the meet. You will find that it always works better to let someone lead in the case of a meet.

3. Don't be shy

No matter how many times you have done it, it is always difficult to meet a friend you have never seen before. We all go through this over and over again. Remember, no one is judging you. Most people already know you a bit.
Introduce yourself by your handle on the forum sit back and relax. Be yourself. Discuss a few threads on the forum, this will be a topic everyone can relate to and will break the ice immediately. After this you can talk about anything under the sun, it won't have to be only about cars. Mostly i find topics that cannot be posted on team-BHP are great fun.

Offer to show your car, something special in your car (your ICE or your exhaust etc) to the rest. Appreciate what others do for their car. Walk up to people's cars and understand what it is they do and why.

And don't be shy to show people your car, Remember - the enthusiasm of a M800 owner may be much higher than a BMW owner. We are here to share that enthusiasm. Expensive cars can be seen in showrooms too.

4. Quality, not quantity

The number of people don't matter. Even 2 people can have a great and successful meet. Sometimes, just meeting a few people, sharing a few jokes and anecdotes will make it more successful and memorable than a gaggle of 50 team-BHPians.

5. Keep the account clear

I would have actually liked to highlight this whole post, because i cannot stress enough on how important this is.

Please don't take money for granted. It leaves a bitter after-taste. Find out approximately how much it will cost and carry the money with you. Don't make the organisers regret doing what they did. It will affect all future meets.
You could be worth crores, but your negligence to pay a few hundred rupees will leave you branded as a cheapo.

If you must leave early, go up to the organiser and pay in advance. There is no problem with that. Nothing to feel odd about. You came, it's unfortunate you have to leave. Pay up and leave. Keep the account clear. None of your friends should have to pay for you, remember, they WILL discuss it when the bill arrives.

6. Take it slow & do it again

A common problem for most, is that you develop a mental picture of a person and the way he speaks from his posts on the forum. Often, the person you meet is not the one you had in mind. Give it time. If you like the way he posts, chances are you will like the way he thinks.

If you're at the meet and not really having the blast you thought it would be (this stems from point 1.) give it time. Stick around. Come back for the next meet. I promise you, you will find a couple of new friends you will consider very close. (I say this from personal experience)

7. Ladies

Let's face it. We're a predominantly male community. Not everyone has a woman friend/wife, many are young and still shy.
If a meet is planned and you'd like to bring a lady, announce it, so that the meet can be planned accordingly (especially venue wise) and others can bring a lady as well. Don't just land up with your girlfriend unannounced, you may just ruin the night for yourself and everyone else if she's the only girl there.

8. For the organisers -Choose a place/activity everyone can afford
Don't aim high, not everyone may have your monetary capabilities or tastes. Choose simple, commonly appreciated venues and watch the people come in.

9. Be clear in your post- confirm/decline/cancel

It makes it easy to organise if they know how many people. Even if it is 4 people, make a list and post it. If you cannot edit your final list, approach a moderator for help via PM, they will do so, gladly.

If you are expected to come (because you're popular) and you cannot - decline clearly. This is part of the list making process.

If you have confirmed and for some unforeseen reason cannot make it, post it clearly and offer to pay your share to the organisers, in case advances were paid. You may find that it will 99% not be required, but will make your intention clear and make everyone else respect you more as a person.
Don't confirm and simply not show up, it is very annoying. Don't do it.

10. If you are drinking

Primarily, please do not drink and drive later. Team-BHP is strongly against this. Please refer to this (Do NOT drink and drive!) (Do NOT drink and drive!) thread.

Remember, there will always be people who you will be meeting for the first time. Enjoy your drink with them socially, use the relaxed feeling to smile and converse with them.
Keep a close check on how much alcohol you consume. Drink within your limits. Do not leave other members at the meet with a poor impression of you. It is truly bad behaviour to lose control of yourself, both verbally and sometimes physically.

We all come to meets to enjoy ourselves. Even the members that do not drink any alcohol. One single person drunk and out of control can spoil the festivity.

Please do not let that person be you.

11. Report

Don't forget we're an online community. We would like to know how it went. It feels good to know. Take a few pictures and post a fun to read report. If for some reason you couldn't take pics, post a text report, telling everyone what you did and how it went.
And be a sport. Laugh at others and let them laugh at you. That's what life is about.

I hope this helps you plan a meet next.

Cheers

Sam

P.S. A small tip. Try not to publicly post your mobile phone number. It can be misused, remember the whole world can see what you are posting. That's what PMs are for.

planet_rocker · 24th October 2006, 15:28

yeah you are right! well if you are talking about some one being shy then i would say that its just a matter of time and it will be overcome.

when i and 1100D met for the first time in kolkata we let our cars' speak. like first it was hello, then we let the cars speak (drive in each other's car and then a back to back drive and then a snap session). we have been in touch since then.

well we met almost two week after we met here.

but it was great!

i am posting just one pic here.

thanks a lot sam.

[IMG]

[/IMG]

iraghava · 24th October 2006, 21:17

Excellent thread & suggestions Sam! I think it would be a great help to members who are willing to organise meets. I would also like to post a few suggestions regarding the same

Keep the Plan Simple

Keep the plan for the meet simple like let's meet at point X, spend some time getting introduced, checking out cars etc, then move onto a pub watch the race (if it's a GP weekend), drink, have dinner go home.

This way the members interested know the plan is finalised, what the venue is like & also the expense involved. Sometimes a very complicated plan leads to people backing out due to concerns over expense & also how much time they would be spending at the meet.

You obviously can have more elaborate plans but for that wait till a few meets have already been held, members have got to meet each other a few times, become friends & would be willing to go out of town for a weekend or something since not everyone is comfortable travelling with someone they've never met before.

Keep the Expenses Down

Do not select a venue which is expensive/high-end. Try & choose a venue which is decent and not pricey at the same time. Remember not all members are comfortable spending a couple of thousand bucks on a night out, so when deciding venues keep the expense in mind.

According to experience average expenditure per member should not exceed 300-500 rupees so as to keep all members interested in attending the meet.

Take Personal Responsibility

Just to elaborate what Sam has pointed out, 1 or 2 members should take personal responsibility for arranging the meet including doing a recce of the meeting spot, checking out the pub/bar/restaurant and making the reservations. DO NOT go only on recommendations from other members as they can be misleading at times, it is advisable to check out the venue(s) before the meet to make sure they are worthy and also to make reservations.

Take out the Effort to ensure attendance by members

Just as an extension to the earlier point, the organising members(s) need to make a personal effort by hounding the confirmed members via PM, email, phone calls etc. to make sure they all attend the meet. This is a very important part of organising a meet. I know it's cumbersome and time consuming but at most times this is difference between an Ok and a good meet.

And lastly as a request to all members who recieve Invitations/PM's/Emails/SMS's regarding meets and their participation PLEASE ATLEAST REPLY TO THEM. Do remember that the meet is orgainsed by a a fellow member to facilitate a meeting of like-minded people and not for his own interest. If he/she has taken out the effort of organising something like this please atleast have the courtersy of sending back a simple yes or no message.

manaa45 · 25th October 2006, 14:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

7. Ladies

Let's face it. We're a predominantly male community. Not everyone has a woman friend/wife, many are young and still shy.
If a meet is planned and you'd like to bring a lady, announce it, so that the meet can be planned accordingly (especially venue wise) and others can bring a lady as well. Don't just land up with your girlfriend unannounced, you may just ruin the night for yourself and everyone else if she's the only girl there.

grt article sam and i agree with you that ladies are the major minority on this forum. and this is the main reason why i end up only being jealous of not being part of any meets. secondly they normally go on till late in the night.

tbhp drives are still differnet as everybody meets up and then parts before going for any drinking sessions.

but i still would like to be a part of one such meet and as viper had suggested in one of the earlier meet threads, there should be one meet atleast where i can take part, i mean wives and gfs would be part of that meet.

i hope it happens.

waiting in anticipation till then

shubbhi

Sam Kapasi · 25th October 2006, 14:25

I am sure it will happen soon. I can imagine your feeling manaa, but honestly lol Boys will be boys and will be terrible dirty little creatures who's minds will never step out of the gutter. And god bless us for that.

We will plan a meet with ladies too for sure, I know viper has been wanting to do that a while, so has elf. Will happen someday soon.
However @Rtech, I suggest you get your lady to a meet only AFTER you have married her, as she may change her mind after seeing our collective behaviour at a team-BHP meet.

GTO · 25th October 2006, 19:58

We did actually have a Team-BHP Couples meet at the Turf Club where I, Rtech, Rehaan, Viper (and one or two more) were there with the better looking halfs. Needless to say, the meet was.....sober. Subtle. Quiet. We got done with dinner and drinks by 10:00 p.m.

@Viper / Rehaan / Rtech : Got Pictures?

manaa45 · 25th October 2006, 22:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

I am sure it will happen soon. I can imagine your feeling manaa, but honestly lol Boys will be boys and will be terrible dirty little creatures who's minds will never step out of the gutter. And god bless us for that.

We will plan a meet with ladies too for sure, I know viper has been wanting to do that a while, so has elf. Will happen someday soon.
However @Rtech, I suggest you get your lady to a meet only AFTER you have married her, as she may change her mind after seeing our collective behaviour at a team-BHP meet.

thanks a lot sam for the consideration.
the green monster as subsided

Quote:

Originally Posted by elf

manaa45: I give you my word dear, that when (not if) we do have have a meet with ladies present (irrespective of whether my wife is there or not), most, in fact all the men present shall be on their best behaviour, & shall be so of their own accord & not because of some silly meet rule.

i understand that boys will be boys and i dont ever intend to break that so called rule of you all.

but still after being at tbhp for such a long time, i feel that i could may be meet more people. but with after reading the reports i think spouses (read ladies) meet would be more appropriate for me to attend.

but thanks for the consideration, btw elf will ur wife leave u alone if she finds out that that meet will have ladies too.

thks again

regards

Shubbhi/Mansi

elf · 26th October 2006, 00:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by manaa45

... btw elf will ur wife leave u alone if she finds out that that meet will have ladies too ...

No dear - wifey's damn sweet that way. She'll only consider meeting the others if she's invited, & neither of us have any problems if the other goes out with friends.

Please do come the next time - I promise you it'll be great fun. I know of at least two other members' better halves who'd love to be there because they've heard / seen pics & reports of the times that we have.

@GTO, Viper: How long back was this T-BHP Couples meet held? I think another one's seriously overdue.

viper · 26th October 2006, 13:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by elf

@GTO, Viper: How long back was this T-BHP Couples meet held? I think another one's seriously overdue.

Hi,

I think it was almost 9-10 months ago. I have suggested it to the people who I know have wives/gf's several times but nobody seems to have the inclination or time. Why dont you make it happen man.

Viper

Samurai · 26th October 2006, 13:54

The mod team has decided that the thread was taking completely wrong turn, therefore all such posts have been removed. The thread is closed temporarily since members are continuing to post on similar lines. We can't have a sticky thread with 5 stars taking such negative lines.

The thread will be opened after a while once members digest this message. - Mod Team.

24th October 2006, 14:52	#1
Sam Kapasi Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Mumbai (but wat Posts: 7,000 Thanked: 2,438 Times View My Garage	How to have a successful and enjoyable meet Hi there, There are many of you that want to have a meet in your city and I just thought, I'd make it easier for you to organise one and enjoy it. I've been for many team-BHP meets in many cities and here's a few things i think will help. 1. Don't expect too much Sometimes you look at successful meet pictures from other cities and want to have a meet like that. It may not happen. Internet communities have a way of appearing extremely enthusiastic while on the thread. The hype builds up and when the meet happens, it is often below expectation. Go with an open mind. You may enjoy yourself. If you do, that's great. Don't expect too much. That way you won't be disappointed. 2. Organize - It's OK to be led Let one or two active members who have the time and the inclination make the plan. Too many cooks will spoil the broth. Remember, by facilitating and co-operating with them, you will do more for this meet than by leading. Let 1 or 2 members who have good internal co-ordination work on the meet. You will find that it always works better to let someone lead in the case of a meet. 3. Don't be shy No matter how many times you have done it, it is always difficult to meet a friend you have never seen before. We all go through this over and over again. Remember, no one is judging you. Most people already know you a bit. Introduce yourself by your handle on the forum sit back and relax. Be yourself. Discuss a few threads on the forum, this will be a topic everyone can relate to and will break the ice immediately. After this you can talk about anything under the sun, it won't have to be only about cars. Mostly i find topics that cannot be posted on team-BHP are great fun. Offer to show your car, something special in your car (your ICE or your exhaust etc) to the rest. Appreciate what others do for their car. Walk up to people's cars and understand what it is they do and why. And don't be shy to show people your car, Remember - the enthusiasm of a M800 owner may be much higher than a BMW owner. We are here to share that enthusiasm. Expensive cars can be seen in showrooms too. 4. Quality, not quantity The number of people don't matter. Even 2 people can have a great and successful meet. Sometimes, just meeting a few people, sharing a few jokes and anecdotes will make it more successful and memorable than a gaggle of 50 team-BHPians. 5. Keep the account clear I would have actually liked to highlight this whole post, because i cannot stress enough on how important this is. Please don't take money for granted. It leaves a bitter after-taste. Find out approximately how much it will cost and carry the money with you. Don't make the organisers regret doing what they did. It will affect all future meets. You could be worth crores, but your negligence to pay a few hundred rupees will leave you branded as a cheapo. If you must leave early, go up to the organiser and pay in advance. There is no problem with that. Nothing to feel odd about. You came, it's unfortunate you have to leave. Pay up and leave. Keep the account clear. None of your friends should have to pay for you, remember, they WILL discuss it when the bill arrives. 6. Take it slow & do it again A common problem for most, is that you develop a mental picture of a person and the way he speaks from his posts on the forum. Often, the person you meet is not the one you had in mind. Give it time. If you like the way he posts, chances are you will like the way he thinks. If you're at the meet and not really having the blast you thought it would be (this stems from point 1.) give it time. Stick around. Come back for the next meet. I promise you, you will find a couple of new friends you will consider very close. (I say this from personal experience) 7. Ladies Let's face it. We're a predominantly male community. Not everyone has a woman friend/wife, many are young and still shy. If a meet is planned and you'd like to bring a lady, announce it, so that the meet can be planned accordingly (especially venue wise) and others can bring a lady as well. Don't just land up with your girlfriend unannounced, you may just ruin the night for yourself and everyone else if she's the only girl there. 8. For the organisers -Choose a place/activity everyone can afford Don't aim high, not everyone may have your monetary capabilities or tastes. Choose simple, commonly appreciated venues and watch the people come in. 9. Be clear in your post- confirm/decline/cancel It makes it easy to organise if they know how many people. Even if it is 4 people, make a list and post it. If you cannot edit your final list, approach a moderator for help via PM, they will do so, gladly. If you are expected to come (because you're popular) and you cannot - decline clearly. This is part of the list making process. If you have confirmed and for some unforeseen reason cannot make it, post it clearly and offer to pay your share to the organisers, in case advances were paid. You may find that it will 99% not be required, but will make your intention clear and make everyone else respect you more as a person. Don't confirm and simply not show up, it is very annoying. Don't do it. 10. If you are drinking Primarily, please do not drink and drive later. Team-BHP is strongly against this. Please refer to this (Do NOT drink and drive!) (Do NOT drink and drive!) thread. Remember, there will always be people who you will be meeting for the first time. Enjoy your drink with them socially, use the relaxed feeling to smile and converse with them. Keep a close check on how much alcohol you consume. Drink within your limits. Do not leave other members at the meet with a poor impression of you. It is truly bad behaviour to lose control of yourself, both verbally and sometimes physically. We all come to meets to enjoy ourselves. Even the members that do not drink any alcohol. One single person drunk and out of control can spoil the festivity. Please do not let that person be you. 11. Report Don't forget we're an online community. We would like to know how it went. It feels good to know. Take a few pictures and post a fun to read report. If for some reason you couldn't take pics, post a text report, telling everyone what you did and how it went. And be a sport. Laugh at others and let them laugh at you. That's what life is about. I hope this helps you plan a meet next. Cheers Sam P.S. A small tip. Try not to publicly post your mobile phone number. It can be misused, remember the whole world can see what you are posting. That's what PMs are for. Last edited by Rehaan : 14th June 2012 at 16:03. Reason: Updating.
	(18) Thanks

24th October 2006, 15:28	#2
planet_rocker Senior - BHPian Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Bong-land Posts: 2,323 Thanked: 426 Times	yeah you are right! well if you are talking about some one being shy then i would say that its just a matter of time and it will be overcome. when i and 1100D met for the first time in kolkata we let our cars' speak. like first it was hello, then we let the cars speak (drive in each other's car and then a back to back drive and then a snap session). we have been in touch since then. well we met almost two week after we met here. but it was great! i am posting just one pic here. thanks a lot sam. [IMG][/IMG]
	(1) Thanks

24th October 2006, 21:17	#3
iraghava Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Bhaiyyaland Posts: 8,033 Thanked: 272 Times View My Garage	Excellent thread & suggestions Sam! I think it would be a great help to members who are willing to organise meets. I would also like to post a few suggestions regarding the same Keep the Plan Simple Keep the plan for the meet simple like let's meet at point X, spend some time getting introduced, checking out cars etc, then move onto a pub watch the race (if it's a GP weekend), drink, have dinner go home. This way the members interested know the plan is finalised, what the venue is like & also the expense involved. Sometimes a very complicated plan leads to people backing out due to concerns over expense & also how much time they would be spending at the meet. You obviously can have more elaborate plans but for that wait till a few meets have already been held, members have got to meet each other a few times, become friends & would be willing to go out of town for a weekend or something since not everyone is comfortable travelling with someone they've never met before. Keep the Expenses Down Do not select a venue which is expensive/high-end. Try & choose a venue which is decent and not pricey at the same time. Remember not all members are comfortable spending a couple of thousand bucks on a night out, so when deciding venues keep the expense in mind. According to experience average expenditure per member should not exceed 300-500 rupees so as to keep all members interested in attending the meet. Take Personal Responsibility Just to elaborate what Sam has pointed out, 1 or 2 members should take personal responsibility for arranging the meet including doing a recce of the meeting spot, checking out the pub/bar/restaurant and making the reservations. DO NOT go only on recommendations from other members as they can be misleading at times, it is advisable to check out the venue(s) before the meet to make sure they are worthy and also to make reservations. Take out the Effort to ensure attendance by members Just as an extension to the earlier point, the organising members(s) need to make a personal effort by hounding the confirmed members via PM, email, phone calls etc. to make sure they all attend the meet. This is a very important part of organising a meet. I know it's cumbersome and time consuming but at most times this is difference between an Ok and a good meet. And lastly as a request to all members who recieve Invitations/PM's/Emails/SMS's regarding meets and their participation PLEASE ATLEAST REPLY TO THEM. Do remember that the meet is orgainsed by a a fellow member to facilitate a meeting of like-minded people and not for his own interest. If he/she has taken out the effort of organising something like this please atleast have the courtersy of sending back a simple yes or no message.
	() Thanks

25th October 2006, 14:25	#5
Sam Kapasi Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Mumbai (but wat Posts: 7,000 Thanked: 2,438 Times View My Garage	I am sure it will happen soon. I can imagine your feeling manaa, but honestly lol Boys will be boys and will be terrible dirty little creatures who's minds will never step out of the gutter. And god bless us for that. We will plan a meet with ladies too for sure, I know viper has been wanting to do that a while, so has elf. Will happen someday soon. However @Rtech, I suggest you get your lady to a meet only AFTER you have married her, as she may change her mind after seeing our collective behaviour at a team-BHP meet.
	() Thanks

25th October 2006, 19:58	#6
GTO Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 71,276 Thanked: 307,037 Times View My Garage	We did actually have a Team-BHP Couples meet at the Turf Club where I, Rtech, Rehaan, Viper (and one or two more) were there with the better looking halfs. Needless to say, the meet was.....sober. Subtle. Quiet. We got done with dinner and drinks by 10:00 p.m. @Viper / Rehaan / Rtech : Got Pictures?
	() Thanks

26th October 2006, 13:54	#10
Samurai Team-BHP Support Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Bangalore/Udupi Posts: 25,913 Thanked: 46,654 Times View My Garage	The mod team has decided that the thread was taking completely wrong turn, therefore all such posts have been removed. The thread is closed temporarily since members are continuing to post on similar lines. We can't have a sticky thread with 5 stars taking such negative lines. The thread will be opened after a while once members digest this message. - Mod Team.
	() Thanks